seixal Posted October 3, 2020 Posted October 3, 2020 Hello all, This is kind of a long story that I will try to shorten while providing enough details for everyone to understand it. I started talking to this girl online about a year and half ago. She lives in Brazilian and I currently live in the US (I'm not american). We kept talking so much that we ended up meeting in person, spending about 1 week together, which was pretty successful. Our relationship isn't perfect but we're both well into our 30's, and we had been discussing ways for us to take the next step and live together. I know some (many?) are already thinking "she's using for papers. I think it would be very naive not to think about that possibility, and it has crossed my mind before. She's from a fairly wealthy family and is a physical therapist herself. That doesn't prove or disprove anything, but the stereotype of the poor girl living in slums dying to get the hell out of poverty doesn't really apply here. Fast forward, a couple of months ago, we got into a run-in because of something silly and we stopped talking for 2 months. During that time she removed me from social media. We eventually made up, and started talking again. She also re-added me on IG. I had a quick look at a new picture she had posted while we were apart, I noticed a like from a guy and I had never noticed before and who obviously didn't live in her home country. I didn't think anything of it at first, but it started bothering me. I had a gut feeling this wasn't right. I asked her if she had been talking to other guys while we weren't talking. She said "no". Then I asked her who this guy was. SHe answered that it was a random guy who had randomly messaged her, with whom she exchanged some messages and had added to her friends list just to practice her English. Seeing it bothered me, she went on to delete his contact without me even asking for it. She claims it was strictly "Friendly". I find it hard to believe. What do you think? Thank you.
kendahke Posted October 3, 2020 Posted October 3, 2020 (edited) I think that as long as she's living in Brazil and you're living in the U.S. with no plans of either of you moving to live in the same proximity within the next 2 months, don't expect loyalty and devotion from someone who is basically a stranger. If this bothers you that much, stop dealing with her. Problem solved. Quote We kept talking so much that we ended up meeting in person, spending about 1 week together, which was pretty successful. that's not a binding contract to anything. Edited October 3, 2020 by kendahke 7
ExpatInItaly Posted October 3, 2020 Posted October 3, 2020 She was free to do whatever she wanted when you two were apart, OP. I also don't think this relationship has much traction, given how far apart you live and the very little time you two have spent together in person. You can see here why both of those factors are working against you - you don't know each other on a deep and meaningful level and you haven't had the opportunity to build trust. If there are no immediate plans to close the distance, I think you are better of parting ways and looking for a local partner. 3
smackie9 Posted October 3, 2020 Posted October 3, 2020 OK so your relationship is based on talking over the internet. You stop talking...that's a breakup. I agree she was free to do whatever she wanted to and that includes dating/sleeping with other men. The above posts I agree 100%. 3
elaine567 Posted October 3, 2020 Posted October 3, 2020 You are upset about some dude on the internet yet every day she has the opportunity to speak to guys in real life... Dating long distance is not easy, it is especially not easy when you do not actually know the person you are investing in. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 3, 2020 Posted October 3, 2020 I think in the absence of a meaningful plan to close the distance, which won't happen for a while due to Covid, that you are putting too much stock in your interactions with this woman. You are one of many men she talks to over the internet. Take a number.
Mystery4u Posted October 3, 2020 Posted October 3, 2020 Ah.. brings back memories... my first love was a Brasileira. We met here in London but she lived over there. I went to see her and stayed for 3 months... met a number of times in Europe as well.. about 3 years it lasted. Things did not work out for a number of reasons. We also took a 'break' at one point and during this time another guy tried to get involved with her. No point going into the details, but she also claimed it was just 'friends'. She lied. If you want to save yourself some heartbreak, get out now. 1
Author seixal Posted October 3, 2020 Author Posted October 3, 2020 5 hours ago, Mystery4u said: Ah.. brings back memories... my first love was a Brasileira. We met here in London but she lived over there. I went to see her and stayed for 3 months... met a number of times in Europe as well.. about 3 years it lasted. Things did not work out for a number of reasons. We also took a 'break' at one point and during this time another guy tried to get involved with her. No point going into the details, but she also claimed it was just 'friends'. She lied. If you want to save yourself some heartbreak, get out now. Do you feel like she was trying to use you?
Wiseman2 Posted October 3, 2020 Posted October 3, 2020 Unfortunately, intercontinental relationships like these are bund to have issues, because all you know is a week long visit and your interpretation of social media. LDRS also lack sex, physical contact and many other compatibility issues. Have fun, but don't get too wrapped up. She may be dating locally.
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