Firstlady07 Posted October 2, 2020 Posted October 2, 2020 I've been talking to this guy for little while now. The other day he tells me he wants to take me out.. I said I would be cool with that and then he goes ghost. I haven't talked or heard from him since and of course I haven't reached out to him. I don't understand why even ask me out only to ghost me?
WanderingComet Posted October 2, 2020 Posted October 2, 2020 OMG I relate to this as well. Happened to me a couple times too. Was this through online dating? There are many that connect, talk for a while and then either lose interest, forget about it, find someone else . Or in the rare case, life happened and he got super busy. I'd say drop in 1 message asking 'Hey, you still on for meeting up?' If he replies , then great! If not, it is sadly time to move on.
poppyfields Posted October 2, 2020 Posted October 2, 2020 (edited) 32 minutes ago, WanderingComet said: I'd say drop in 1 message asking 'Hey, you still on for meeting up?' If he replies , then great! If not, it is sadly time to move on. The OP could do that, but the question is why would she want to? I mean if you have to remind a man that he asked you out, what's the point? Lol I certainly wouldn't want to date a man who forgot he asked me out, or lost interest. No thank you! Choose wisely from the get go and avoid disappointment or hurt later. Edited October 2, 2020 by poppyfields 8 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted October 2, 2020 Posted October 2, 2020 Well, if it was only the other day I don't think that's really ghosting. Why don't you just wait a week or two and see what happens?
Wiseman2 Posted October 2, 2020 Posted October 2, 2020 7 hours ago, Firstlady07 said: I've been talking to this guy for little while now. The other day he tells me he wants to take me out.. I said I would be cool with that and then he goes ghost. I haven't talked or heard from him since and of course I haven't reached out to him. I don't understand why even ask me out only to ghost me? If someone won't meet soon after contact, they're hiding something Never talk to someone " for a while". If they're interested, they'll meet you. This sounds like catfishing or married. Block and delete him. 2
Author Firstlady07 Posted October 2, 2020 Author Posted October 2, 2020 20 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: If someone won't meet soon after contact, they're hiding something Never talk to someone " for a while". If they're interested, they'll meet you. This sounds like catfishing or married. Block and delete him. We haven't been talking that long. How soon would you say you should meet after you start talking? Just asking for future reference. I definitely dont think he's a catfish but married is a big possibility! He said he USE to be married, and he has a daughter. There were some other things I noticed that I took notes on.
Wiseman2 Posted October 2, 2020 Posted October 2, 2020 Exchange a few basic messages, don't text too much or divulge TMI. Meet asap. Suggest a brief mutually convenient coffee date. Do not try to build rapport without meeting through just texting. Keep in mind anyone can text on the toilet, with thier partner in the next room. 1 1
mortensorchid Posted October 2, 2020 Posted October 2, 2020 I can't tell you how often this happened to me, let alone anyone else on this forum. Who knows the reasons why? Some of them just say "I'm not good at communication" - If that's the case, next. Some of them are just doing this to get their egos stroked, some of them are players, etc. There was one guy years ago who I met for an internet date and then I didn't hear from him for a few weeks. Out of curiosity I texted him a "hi how are you" and he said he wanted to get together again, so we did, and ... I never heard from him after that. Honestly, if he's not making the effort, then he's not that interested in you. He may say he is but actions speak louder than words. Just move on. 2
smackie9 Posted October 2, 2020 Posted October 2, 2020 (edited) As they say don't stick all your eggs in one basket. Stick with a couple of messages, then make a suggestion that you would be open to meeting soon/hint to meet. Anything beyond that is a waste of time. An interested man doesn't fritter around chatting/penpalling. If I was single I wouldn't tolerate weeks of messaging. IMO if you are answering his messages, that would mean interest...it's a no brainer. Plus you want someone confident, straight forward, a gentleman, not some sorry beta sap, or some d-bag playing several women online for an ego boost. Edited October 2, 2020 by smackie9
Velvet teddy Posted October 2, 2020 Posted October 2, 2020 12 hours ago, Firstlady07 said: I've been talking to this guy for little while now. The other day he tells me he wants to take me out.. I said I would be cool with that and then he goes ghost. I haven't talked or heard from him since and of course I haven't reached out to him. I don't understand why even ask me out only to ghost me? How long has it been since you heard from him.
Azincourt Posted October 2, 2020 Posted October 2, 2020 (edited) 14 hours ago, Firstlady07 said: I've been talking to this guy for little while now. The other day he tells me he wants to take me out.. I said I would be cool with that and then he goes ghost. I haven't talked or heard from him since and of course I haven't reached out to him. I don't understand why even ask me out only to ghost me? Yes, that has happened to everyone one time or another. There are several scenarios here. A) He wanted to go out with you but felt he had no choice so he asked you out thinking you was gonna reject the idea, and he wanted to get the idea of asking you out out of his head, and he didn't know how to react when you said yes because he wasn't expecting you to say yes. B) He isn't interested in you, but the women he wants to go out with rejected him, and a date with someone you don't like all that much is better than no date, to many people, apparently, but he felt like getting dressed, shaved, washed, all that, was too much effort. C)Something happened to him and he can't reply back. D)He was never interested but wanted the self-esteem boost by having you say yes to a date with him. Well, there have been women I asked out on a date because I had been having a dry spell of no sex, and since this woman was into me, I reckoned hey, sex is sex and she's not half-bad looking so imma get myself in that, but then someone I was more attracted to decided she wanted to spend time with me, so I ghosted the first one. There also have been times when I asked someone on a date and she implied sexy times would be had by the end of the date, but I had just gotten my hands on football manager 2020 so... Edited October 2, 2020 by Azincourt
Author Firstlady07 Posted October 2, 2020 Author Posted October 2, 2020 2 hours ago, Velvet teddy said: How long has it been since you heard from him. Since Monday night.
Azincourt Posted October 2, 2020 Posted October 2, 2020 Well, then it hasn't been that long since you last spoke to him. Give it one more week, and if he doesn't reply back or anything like that, just move on and meet other men. 1
Velvet teddy Posted October 2, 2020 Posted October 2, 2020 2 hours ago, Firstlady07 said: Since Monday night. Apparently there's a five day rule. Within five days if you don't hear from a guy, their interest is lacking.
Ami1uwant Posted October 3, 2020 Posted October 3, 2020 13 hours ago, Firstlady07 said: We haven't been talking that long. How soon would you say you should meet after you start talking? Just asking for future reference. I definitely dont think he's a catfish but married is a big possibility! He said he USE to be married, and he has a daughter. There were some other things I noticed that I took notes on. If you two live near each other usually you ask for a date within 1-2 days. The date might be planned for that weekend. you don’t want to chat much before the date because you coukd run out of things to talk about. 1
poppyfields Posted October 3, 2020 Posted October 3, 2020 (edited) 7 hours ago, Azincourt said: Well, then it hasn't been that long since you last spoke to him. Give it one more week, and if he doesn't reply back or anything like that, just move on and meet other men. First off, there is nothing to move on from, and second she should be doing that now, they've haven't even had ONE date yet. FirstLady07, please tell us you're still talking and meeting/dating other men. If you were, guarantee you would not be as wound up about this as you appear to be now. And as such when/if he ever called, you might even be more inclined to meet him. He made one ambiguous remark about wanting to take you out, and you replied cool. Great, now continue to live your live, talking and meeting other men. If he calls and you're still available, see how you feel then. Life is way too short to be stressing lol because one guy you've been talking to on line hasn't followed up. Go live your life, have fun, enjoy! Edited October 3, 2020 by poppyfields 1
hippychick3 Posted October 3, 2020 Posted October 3, 2020 12 hours ago, poppyfields said: First off, there is nothing to move on from, and second she should be doing that now, they've haven't even had ONE date yet. FirstLady07, please tell us you're still talking and meeting/dating other men. If you were, guarantee you would not be as wound up about this as you appear to be now. And as such when/if he ever called, you might even be more inclined to meet him. He made one ambiguous remark about wanting to take you out, and you replied cool. Great, now continue to live your live, talking and meeting other men. If he calls and you're still available, see how you feel then. Life is way too short to be stressing lol because one guy you've been talking to on line hasn't followed up. Go live your life, have fun, enjoy! Exactly! They haven’t even met yet. He’s a complete stranger and should not even be a blip on the radar before meeting in person. So what that he made a comment to meet up? If he didn’t follow up on that, move on to someone else who will actually WANT to meet up. 1
ssm617 Posted October 4, 2020 Posted October 4, 2020 This has happened to many people. In particular with online dating. Many possible reasons. 1. Got cold feet about online dating. 2. No longer available because they are focusing on other things happening in their life. 3. Not completely over an ex or got back together with an ex. 4. Met someone that they liked better. 5. Married/in a relationship and had second thoughts about cheating. 6. Never was seriously interested to begin with. Some people will use OLD as an ego booth or a way to pass time when they are bored. Give it a few more days and if you don't hear from him, then move on. Besides, people should not put all of their eggs in 1 basket this early. 2
CLS63AMG Posted October 6, 2020 Posted October 6, 2020 (edited) People have been super flaky since covid, myself included. With me I am not meeting anyone I don't think there is a good chance of us hitting it off together, where as before I'd take some pretty long shot chances and it seems to be that way across the board. I've lost interest in women and women have lost interest in me, no harm no foul. I'd rather them disappear in the chatting stage than do it after we actually took the time to meet. Edited October 6, 2020 by CLS63AMG 1
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