LaceyMcAntire Posted October 1, 2020 Posted October 1, 2020 (edited) In general, what do you find an appropriate amount of time is to get calls from a guy that you would be trying to friendzone again? Basically, if he doesn't call within ___________ days, should I assume I should just not even try anymore? I am just trying to move back to being good friends and I don't want to have the expectations of talking everyday that I had before, but I also don't want to be calling unwanted.. if that makes sense? Is there like a so many day rule that if he doesn't call that Im essentially not important enough in his life? Especially if he hasnt heard from me either? Edited October 1, 2020 by LaceyMcAntire
Mystery4u Posted October 1, 2020 Posted October 1, 2020 This thread is confusing. If you want to friendzone some guy, why do you even care if he hasn't called you? And why would he even call you? No guy wants to waste time being friends with a woman he wants to sleep with.
stillafool Posted October 1, 2020 Posted October 1, 2020 Unless he has officially asked you to be his gf you should keep it moving and not try anymore. If a guy wants a girl he finds time to talk to her. He won't be able to help himself. 2
Dork Vader Posted October 2, 2020 Posted October 2, 2020 15 hours ago, LaceyMcAntire said: In general, what do you find an appropriate amount of time is to get calls from a guy that you would be trying to friendzone again? Basically, if he doesn't call within ___________ days, should I assume I should just not even try anymore? I am just trying to move back to being good friends and I don't want to have the expectations of talking everyday that I had before, but I also don't want to be calling unwanted.. if that makes sense? Is there like a so many day rule that if he doesn't call that Im essentially not important enough in his life? Especially if he hasnt heard from me either? I'm confused so you've friend zoned a guy and want to know how frequently you can call him? It's entirely dependent on the person and what they are okay with and what they want. I text my best friend daily sometimes, sometimes we don't talk for months. She is still my best friend. I have other friends I talk to every day.. It just depends on the person and the friendship. 1
smackie9 Posted October 2, 2020 Posted October 2, 2020 (edited) let me guess....you rejected his advances for a relationship, ....he's now been distancing himself but you still wish to have attention from him. You want things to stay the same as before he professed his feelings for you....well he is heartbroken, and you probably wore out your welcome. He wants to be your BF, no your friend. I say he's going to move on, and contacting him is a waste of time. Edited October 2, 2020 by smackie9 3 1
ExpatInItaly Posted October 3, 2020 Posted October 3, 2020 Lacey, you have written about this guy multiple times. It is clear he does not want a relationship with you. Trying to be friends is a terrible idea because it will only hurt you that he still doesn't want more, and seriously, will you want to be his friend when he meets his next girlfriend? Why are you doing this to yourself? 5
elaine567 Posted October 3, 2020 Posted October 3, 2020 You have this idea that you have a great friendship with this guy but you don't. You have the idea if you play the game right he will want more than the FWB you set up. Wrong! As he has distanced himself from you, you now have the idea that if you "friendzone" him, he will get closer to you. Wrong! Men rarely really want platonic female friends unless there is an interest/hobby in common or they see an opportunity to get something out of it ie financially or career wise. Now you are the friend, minus the benefits, he will have no reason to call you at all... 3
BaileyB Posted October 3, 2020 Posted October 3, 2020 (edited) 8 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Why are you doing this to yourself? This is the question. Time to let him go Lacey, focus on finding a man who does want to date you. Or better yet, learn to be ok without a man in your life. The way you cling to this man makes me think that this is something you really need to do for yourself... Edited October 3, 2020 by BaileyB
Versacehottie Posted October 3, 2020 Posted October 3, 2020 On 10/1/2020 at 12:50 PM, LaceyMcAntire said: In general, what do you find an appropriate amount of time is to get calls from a guy that you would be trying to friendzone again? Basically, if he doesn't call within ___________ days, should I assume I should just not even try anymore? I am just trying to move back to being good friends and I don't want to have the expectations of talking everyday that I had before, but I also don't want to be calling unwanted.. if that makes sense? Is there like a so many day rule that if he doesn't call that Im essentially not important enough in his life? Especially if he hasnt heard from me either? Assuming this is the exact same guy from your other threads, you should not try, period. I get the feeling that you are trying to manipulate the situation by not being accessible to him---you still care wayyyyy too much. If he is "just a friend" to you, then the time frame of this contact doesn't matter. It's fine if it comes; it's fine if it doesn't. You have to teach YOURSELF how to not be so invested. Part of the reason why trying to agree to friends when that is not how you feel about him won't work.. He has always been the less accessible one to you--playing these games most likely won't change that. You need to focus on your life and other opportunities with other guys and then you won't care about the above^^^^^ Good luck 2
Wiseman2 Posted October 3, 2020 Posted October 3, 2020 On 10/1/2020 at 3:50 PM, LaceyMcAntire said: In general, what do you find an appropriate amount of time is to get calls from a guy that you would be trying to friendzone again? I am just trying to move back to being good friends and I don't want to have the expectations of talking everyday that I had before Respond only if he contacts you.
Lotsgoingon Posted October 4, 2020 Posted October 4, 2020 There is no strategy or rule. Friendships have all kinds of shapes, sizes, contact frequencies, subjects that people focus on and on and on. A friendship is unique--between two people--and no friendship is the same. I have a lot of women friends. The conversations are not the same. We don't talk to each other about the same subjects. Which is a way of saying when it comes to friendship, you really shouldn't be working this hard or thinking this hard. That you are thinking about questions like this tells me that the relationship with this guy isn't solid enough for a steady friendship. The other posters are totally right: you cannot win, you cannot be happy, you cannot even be sane when trying to stay "friends" with someone that you have had a romantic interest in. It does NOT work. Right now you're asking if he's calling too little ... but if tomorrow, he started calling you more frequently, you'd start to hope that may he is romantically interested. It's heads you lose. Tails you lose. Cut it off. Trust that you have enough going on that you can go forward with your life without this person. 1
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