Azincourt Posted October 1, 2020 Posted October 1, 2020 Well, I reckon that overweight people feel unattractive and as a result they aren't confident and that puts a damp in their dating life, because even when they do get a romantic partner, they probably feel like they are the unattractive one in the relationship. So, yeah, I can see why he didn't date in his 20s, although I don't understand why he didn't join a gym when he was in his 20s and wasted so much of the best decade of his life. 1
Wiseman2 Posted October 1, 2020 Posted October 1, 2020 39 minutes ago, kenziejane said: No, he's dated. He just hasn't had a serious relationship before or anything long-term. That's why I said it seemed like a valid reason to me. As someone who also used to be overweight, I had no interest in dating until I lost it. Ok. So he does have dating/sexual experience and it seems he took time off to work on himself and his health...to his credit. You are divorced at 30 and that's ok, but "inexperienced' doesn't never married/divorced. It's not as if he hid in his parents basement and a virgin until 30, if that's what your friends think? Also stop talking to your friends about him. If you are happy with him, carry on.
Azincourt Posted October 1, 2020 Posted October 1, 2020 (edited) Maybe the guy lost his V card at 20, and then only began to date again in his 30s, because he wasn't happy with the way his body looked, so he spent a good 10 years hiding away from showing women his body because he was not secure about the aesthetics of his naked body. We need to make Physical education like, 10 hours a week for 3 hours a class, way too many young men are wasting away their golden decade of life because of this. I remember watching a URSS slogan march, a picture was taken from it, and the picture showed a bunch of high school gym teachers who looked like they had been worked from Greek marble by the greek gods. It was very impressive. Edited October 1, 2020 by Azincourt
smackie9 Posted October 5, 2020 Posted October 5, 2020 So what if he doesn't have any "experience", he's no dummy, he knows how to treat a lady, and so far everything has been good. Your friend needs to shut it. You are an adult, I'm sure you know when if things turn sour, you will end it and move on. There is always risks involved when dating anyone, no matter their background. 1
SumGuy Posted October 5, 2020 Posted October 5, 2020 On 9/30/2020 at 3:45 PM, kenziejane said: He's in his 30s and has a legitimate reason for choosing not to date in his 20s. Personally, it didn't bother me when he told me and I actually thought it was admirable that he recognized he wasn't in a place mentally where he could be a good partner. However, I was talking to my girlfriends about him the other day and one of them immediately said she would never even consider a man who had no relationship experience. It was a red flag for her. I guess I can see why, but also this man has been nothing but incredibly sweet to me. It hasn't gone this smoothly with anyone else in months. However, my friend said one thing that I can't get out of my head now. That she would never want to be someone's first relationship because it would feel too much like being the practice relationship. That no one settles down with their first relationship, that he'll probably want to date multiple women since he's so new to this, etc etc. I guess I'm just wondering what other people think. Should I be hesitant? Any advice or tips? I've never dated someone with no prior relationship experience but it hasn't been an issue with him yet. I think your girlfriend is projecting way too much. I can find plenty examples from my life experience where the first relationship turned into very long term. It's also kind of BS logic. Where is the perfect middle ground on number of relationships? I am sure she would say if he had 10 relationships he clearly can't maintain them or figure it out or he has some issue. Or if it was just 1 relationship then he will be pining away for his first love. Let alone all the nit picking on how long ago was his last relationship, is he on the rebound etc. If you want to go looking for problems you will always find them and you can always make a negative prophecy come true. I say look to the actual facts of your relationship and how he is. The fact that he had the self awareness to wait make me think he also has the self awareness to not be a "grass is always greener" type of person. Practice relationship? Who even thinks that way? I have never heard anyone say that. I doubt this guy thinks that way, your girlfriend sure does...so I wouldn't date her if I was you
Emilie Jolie Posted October 5, 2020 Posted October 5, 2020 On 10/1/2020 at 3:16 PM, kenziejane said: In the past two years, he's shed all that weight and looks great. He's been dating for a year, but hasn't had any serious relationships. He's had time to adjust to his 'new' self, experimented a bit for a year and is now taking the time to get to know you better - I personally find this perfectly sensible. You're not dating 'someone with no relationship experience' - you're dating him, an individual person with his own life story. The lack of long term relationship is only a (minor, in my view) part of this story - unless there are other things about him that make you second guess yourself, enjoy getting to know him more, and go with the flow. 2
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