CollinW Posted October 1, 2020 Posted October 1, 2020 Easily, for one have them go Dutch or go back and forth with paying. ESPECIALLY if you're meeting women through OLD. If you don't have the social market value to pull it off, then only do early dates starting off. It's a lot more difficult now with Covid, but if you're in a major city then do local stuff like free a festivals, movies in the park, art exhibits, etc. Do not the need to shoulder the entire financial burden of dating a stranger.
ajequals Posted October 1, 2020 Posted October 1, 2020 I wouldn't worry about How much you spend. it's the time you spend with your date that counts no matter where the date goes. I've even made a nice lunch and gone on a nice drive to a scenic location. Being one on one is what's important
Maldives Posted October 1, 2020 Posted October 1, 2020 (edited) 18 hours ago, HighHopes87 said: I’ve been trying to take dating a bit more seriously lately and I’ve been ‘putting myself out there’ a bit more. I’m just an average guy who earns an average salary and I’m struggling with the mounting cost of dating. I’ve not had much luck lately and have not secured many second dates. I try to avoid big dinner dates as a first date and just try and stick to coffee/breakfast dates. I just feel like it’s always down to the guy to pay on the first date and it’s making me skint. Does anyone have any ideas on ‘low cost’ date ideas and is it ever to ok to ask someone to chip in? Good question I had the same issue and you're right pressure is all on us men to cover the date I've had to cover ongoing dates with the same woman. So I stopped dating lol I mean online because I found it to be such a big waste of time. One girl helped her self to lobster wine etc said she will pay not to worry and wen it came to the end of the night she walked out of the restaurant and waited outside while I had to foot the 80 dollar bill. Then she had the hide to ask me to buy her a drink after that was a big turn off for me and a big lesson. My advice would be to keep doing that the coffee dates no dinner dates etc good luck I've bailed on em they are s*** lol dating sites. And if I meet someone I do like there's no way I'm gonna be throwing money at em on dates no way.y long term relationships were always more balanced when it came to going out eating out. But who knows some said I was tight but I worked within my means. if I was tight they were even tighter lol I covered a lot more than they ever did. I think woman have this notion of her night in shining armour shivalry all that bulls*** that really puts a lot of pressure on men then they complain when there not treated equally. Edited October 1, 2020 by Goodguy05
Azincourt Posted October 1, 2020 Posted October 1, 2020 (edited) 6 hours ago, Mystery4u said: If you are struggling to pay for dates... then you are really going to struggle being in a relationship! Having a girlfriend is expensive! No, it's not. As long as he's not dating a gold-digger, he'll do fine. Get yourself a girlfriend with a job and who isn't a leech, expecting her boyfriend to pay for her meals and her entertainment because otherwise she can't make ends-meet. If she needs a guy to pay for her meals then she doesn't belong in the dating world. Date college-educated women, although in these trying days, having a college education doesn't mean much. I know women with several college degrees who are working as a waiter, and they still pay for their share of the date. They know you aren't rich and that you don't have a rich daddy, and because they like you, they'll accept a second, a third, a tenth date, without the expectation of getting their share of the date paid off for them, and I'm talking about young, attractive women and still they don't expect a man to put his hard earned money on the table for them. Date women who are decent human beings. Date women who aren't interested in using you for a free meal. You having a budget doesn't make you any less attractive. I know dudes who are in a romantic long-term relationship with the same attractive women for the last 10 years and they drive an old hammered bucket that passes for a car, they still live at home(men in their 30s) and their jobs have as much hope as a meth head has of keeping her teeth. And still they are in loving, mutually respectful relationship. Because there's lots and lots of women out there who aren't gold-diggers and leeches, you just need to meet enough women to find them. And no, there was nothing special physically about these dudes. They looked like the average Italian man, I ain't talking about a David Gandy here. A man's self-esteem is the biggest hurdle he has to face where it concerns dating the women he wants to date. Biggest expense a guy gets having a girlfriend is buying condoms, but what's that compared to how much money you save by not having kids not to mention the headaches and problems LMAO Quote Good question I had the same issue and you're right pressure is all on us men to cover the date I've had to cover ongoing dates with the same woman. So I stopped dating lol I mean online because I found it to be such a big waste of time. One girl helped her self to lobster wine etc said she will pay not to worry and wen it came to the end of the night she walked out of the restaurant and waited outside while I had to foot the 80 dollar bill. Then she had the hide to ask me to buy her a drink after that was a big turn off for me and a big lesson. No, we aren't. We men are not all under pressure to cover the date, nor are we required to pick her up, drive her to the restaurant, pay for it, then drive her back. There's such a being as a woman who respects herself and respects her date to not be a burden. When a woman cares about you, when she's attracted to you, she WILL pay her own bill. It's quite simple, how you guys can figure out if a woman is with you for a free meal or because she likes you. John: ''hey, Selena, I'd like to take you out on a date, but my car broke down and I'm going to be out of cash until the end of the month.'' Selena: oh, it's okay, I don't mind. We can go to x public park, it's a lovely day and I'd love to sit and watch all the cute dogs play-fighting each other.'' If ya ain't ever been in a position where a woman doesn't expect you to pay for a date, then let me tell you guys that you oughta hit the gym or change your wardrobe or brush your teeth or something, because dating ain't about impressing a woman with money to convince her to put out for you because you got cash. Dating ain't about renting a girlfriend. Dating is about finding someone who respects you, cares about you, treats you with dignity and kindness. Someone expecting you to pay just for them to sit with you for an hour while they scroll down their phone to check up on what new shoes melanie bought and posted on instagram is not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. And anyways, if you guys are going to waste money, at least waste it on a woman like Sara Sampaio or Kendall Jenner, at least you'll be seen with a hot woman by other dudes, and there's nothing as satisfying as other men's envy. Well, making 30 million dollars a year just by sitting pretty is probably more satisfying, but not all of us can be Prince William. Edited October 1, 2020 by Azincourt 1
Fletch Lives Posted October 1, 2020 Posted October 1, 2020 How do you manage the expense of dating? - You find a suga mama, mang!!! Da Fletch-man don't play with those sugar babies! Seriously, women and dating is expensive. Get a better job/business, and go on frugal dates in the beginning, and don't buy her gifts in the beginning.
dangerous Posted October 1, 2020 Posted October 1, 2020 18 hours ago, Azincourt said: No, they aren't. If you mean street-prostitution, sure, they're cheaper I'm guessing, but you might come home with a case of AIDS, and that kind of professional prostitution is illegal and you don't want to take part in making the lives of those women and the lives of those families even more miserable - I hope - by making use of their services. I grew up around a lot of old rich men. As an adult, I'm around a lot of rich old men, so unless you're making millions of dollars post-taxes, and unless you live in a nation where professional prostitution is legal: I wouldn't advise you to do sleep with escorts. The more money you have, I'm talking about that kind of money you can tell your boss to go to, the more hot and the more skilled those sex workers are going to be. There are escorting agencies in Europe where the hopeful patron to be has to have a minimum of 11 million euros to become eligible, and then there's another number of requirements the guy gotta meet. There was a huge scandal in the UK a year ago because it was discovered that a large number of soccer players belonging to the richest English clubs - married men - were making use of the services escorts provide, with guys paying 30 000 dollars a month, plus expensive gifts, with one dude even buying a woman her own farm + cattle + farming equipment and even seeds(or whatever it is the British pound equivalent) to keep a specific escort as a retainer, and about 2000 dollars per hour, if you are only interested in taking the 'car out for a drive ' to see if you're happy with what you're getting. How many middle-class Americans can afford dropping 2000 dollars on an escort? How many can go to Nevada, the only state where prostitution is legalized, and where most of the escorts are unattractive and have fake bodies anyway? Hit the gym, make sure those mouth bones sparkle white, learn how to make some corny jokes, don't be pushy, and be aware that the more women you know the more likely you are of getting an one-night stand/friends with benefits, or a romantic relationship, so save up your money and don't be wasting it on strangers by paying for first or second or third dates. Not unless she's already your girlfriend. No, I don't partake in prostitutes. I was tempted when I was living in Spain and going through a dry spell of 1 month, but I reckon the women who work in those brothels aren't there because they enjoy what they are doing. They aren't enjoying it, and I take pride in being as good in bed as some old dude is as good at making himself out to be a fool in front of millions. Women who work in brothels are doing it out of necessity, and I ain't into that. I actually like women, even if people think I'm a douchebag due to not wanting to get married/co-habitate with a woman, so for me to sleep with an escort, it would have to be one of those 2000 euros an hour escorts who are doing it because they enjoy their lavish lifestyle, and enjoy paying off the mortggage on a house before they are 25. But I ain't about to drop 2000 on an escort. I'd rather save it for a rainy day *shrugs* Azincourt, You are talking about a different level. Of course you can find these high class escorts at 1000's a night but there are plenty of attractive/ well heeled escorts/ prostitutes/ whatever you want to call them for 100/100s so there is indeed an argument that it is an economical pastime compared with dating.
dangerous Posted October 1, 2020 Posted October 1, 2020 To get back on topic, I concur that dating can be expensive, and while there are many men and women who prefer the traditional view that the man pays, I agree with the others who have said that we are in an age of equality and the costs should be shared. The women I have dated, often offer ot pay their share, and I accept that. The ones who have objected eg. when I have bought a drink or two, and then I say "its your round" they have not been for me anyway!
dangerous Posted October 1, 2020 Posted October 1, 2020 PS: If I am dating a Sugar Baby though, then I will pay for everything lol
Ami1uwant Posted October 1, 2020 Posted October 1, 2020 20 hours ago, Alvi said: A 100 dollars for a single date? Wow, that's a bit of overkill. Pretty sure there are plenty of cheap and/or free options available out there. You don't need to impress a woman with your money or anything. I don't think many woman would react positively if a guy sends her flowers too early in the relationship. One guy sent me flowers at my job after our third date. Guess what? Overkill. It was very awkward for me having to explain to my co-workers that I hardly even know the guy. Undure where you live....here is an example do your costs might be different. you go out for dinner...even a more casual place dinners will cost around $15+ drink costs+ taxes and tip. Alcohol drinks cost more. dinner easily $40 for 2 add $10 for alcohol. if you go to a movie after then 2 $15 tickets + snack food. That’s easily $45 then there could be parking fees. lunch for 2 might be $25. If you do something there is likely admin ticket fees. 1
Lotsgoingon Posted October 1, 2020 Posted October 1, 2020 I know there is a lot of male "training" that suggests that movies and dinners are required. They are not. You want to wait until you have a good relationship before taking someone to the movies. If a person is turned on just because you take her to dinner and a movies, then that's the kind of person the OP does NOT want to date. A lot of women think of movies and dinner as cliche. There's nothing that captures the man and his interests or his qualities. The goal of the date is to introduce yourself to the person and let them introduce themselves to you. Dinner and movie are so formulaic and generic. So the killer, you spent money and you don't get any credit ... and you don't advance the process of figuring out if this woman is good for you and vice versa. You can often rule out chemistry with someone within 5 minutes of meeting them. Meeting in a park is fine. Actually the idea is the OP finds a free activity that interests him and invites her to that! That way, he gets to see what she's like, he gets to see if they have things in common. Dinner and a movie is only good if you already have chemistry that is good. Otherwise, it's mechanic and generic. 1
SumGuy Posted October 2, 2020 Posted October 2, 2020 (edited) The first question you need to answer is how much can you spend. All your options flow from that. Subjective statements like too much mean nothing. When I was young $20 would have been a lot, now that I make in a week what I used to make in a year, $20 is nothing. In short though, meeting for a drink is typically a low cost way to ge to know someone. Can you afford 2 drinks each is the question? And by drink I mean beer or wine. Figure you are looking at $30-40 max there for such a date, is that too much? Also half of that you spent on you. Only go for round 3, food, ice cream after, etc. if you really feel the chemistry. Also, are women who are up for splitting the bill in the group of those you are after? Have to say they seem to have always been for me so even if they don't split the bill they will buy 1 out of 3 rounds. Edited October 2, 2020 by SumGuy 1
salparadise Posted October 2, 2020 Posted October 2, 2020 On 10/1/2020 at 4:50 AM, Azincourt said: Date college-educated women... they still pay for their share of the date. They know you aren't rich and that you don't have a rich daddy, and because they like you, they'll accept a second, a third, a tenth date, without the expectation of getting their share of the date paid off for them, and I'm talking about young, attractive women and still they don't expect a man to put his hard earned money on the table for them. This has been my experience too. The more educated, the more egalitarian... and the less they expect you to foot the bill on their behalf. I haven't kept notes, but my recollection is that every woman with a post-grad has at least offered to split on the first date. Some insist, and some allow me to treat with an assurance that she'll get the next one. If you date someone who is all about the receipt of valuable consideration as though she's entitled... this is a woman who will never be satisfied, has no loyalty, and and will always be available to a higher bidder. Sadly they're out there, masquerading as sweethearts with a nice smile. You have to maintain some objectivity. I would also agree that you should only do an expensive dinner date if you've been communicating for some time and believe she has real potential. In fact, I recommend that men should quit trying to date every hottie that gives them 10 seconds of attention. Raise the threshold for who you date, and look for reciprocation when deciding whether it will continue. You're looking for a partner not a dependent. 1
mortensorchid Posted October 3, 2020 Posted October 3, 2020 I think it's reasonable if you are going out on an internet date to keep things low cost if you are concerned about your finances. Nothing wrong with coffee and a bagel / muffin / cookie, or one or two alcoholic drinks. You don't know this person after all. As for spending? In some cases I think people are confusing prostitution with romance. I talked to a guy friend who said he took this woman out for an expensive meal and he was hoping to get some serious action that night, instead he got a dry kiss at the doorstep and went home alone. Chances are you can find someone who will do something for far less than the cost of an expensive meal. Remember, love and romance do not fall into spending anything. It doesn't cost a thing to say "I love you" or to do something thoughtful for someone. We've been brainwashed by advertising and popular culture to do / say / think things.
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