kunaka1000 Posted September 30, 2020 Posted September 30, 2020 Hie There I am really struggling with my feelings towards my girlfriend at the moment. I know I love her & love her so much but I don't know how to feel that way anymore I'm trying, trying to convince myself but I'm failing. Since our last breakup for about 4 days, I have felt this way. This is almost a month ago Everytime we've argued or had a fight even of the smallest thing, my gf's anxiety and her overthinking comes to play which has lead us to breaking up, 4 times to be exact. I have been Goin from loving someone with everything to heartbreak of losing someone repeatedly and this time I'm struggling to feel how I used to We've spoken about this issue of her breaking up and she admitted and wants to work on it and wants to show me she is. At the she's so InLove with me but I'm struggling to feel that way too in my mind I know it but I don't feel it. Any advice would be appreciated. I don't want to feel this way. I really do love her.
beentheredonethat77 Posted September 30, 2020 Posted September 30, 2020 Kunaka1000 - before i respond can i ask what are your ages and how long have you been together? My first instinct is the relationship sounds too dramatic and similar to relationships i had in my teens/early 20's... the need for drama passed as real life responsibilities took too much energy to leave any space for drama / make up cycles. -
ExpatInItaly Posted September 30, 2020 Posted September 30, 2020 It sounds like you're ready to move on. This is what happens when toxic relationships finally lose their steam - the one being dumped all the time loses interest and can't get back to where they once were. It's a sign that you are on a healthier path, and that it's time to finally part ways. 2
Author kunaka1000 Posted September 30, 2020 Author Posted September 30, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, beentheredonethat77 said: Kunaka1000 - before i respond can i ask what are your ages and how long have you been together? My first instinct is the relationship sounds too dramatic and similar to relationships i had in my teens/early 20's... the need for drama passed as real life responsibilities took too much energy to leave any space for drama / make up cycles. - @beentheredonethat77, We have been together for over 6months now and she is 31 and I am 26. Edited September 30, 2020 by kunaka1000 2
Author kunaka1000 Posted September 30, 2020 Author Posted September 30, 2020 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: It sounds like you're ready to move on. This is what happens when toxic relationships finally lose their steam - the one being dumped all the time loses interest and can't get back to where they once were. It's a sign that you are on a healthier path, and that it's time to finally part ways. @ExpatInItaly Do you think so. When I got in the relationship, I had all guards down but eventually I pulled them back up to protect myself 1
Maldives Posted September 30, 2020 Posted September 30, 2020 The only way you would know about really how you feel and if it's just fleeting is if you both broke up not knowing whether she will come back then you will quickly know or realise wether your still feeling anything
schlumpy Posted September 30, 2020 Posted September 30, 2020 You can only try to climb the same hill so many times before it's time to try another hill. 1
Mystery4u Posted September 30, 2020 Posted September 30, 2020 It's only been 6 months and you have broken up 4 times? That's not normal. You are not a good match. I proper relationship does not involve so much drama and break ups. It's stress free, happy, and no constant breaking up/making up. She's not the one for you. 4
d0nnivain Posted September 30, 2020 Posted September 30, 2020 This is a dysfunctional mess & she's not mature enough to deal with conflict. At 31 years old she should be able to better process minor disagreements rather then break up at the slightest provocation. This break up make up cycle means your relationship does not work. Stop trying to force it. You may think you are in love but you are not. If you were actually in love in a mere 6 months you would not have had a major disagreement during this honeymoon period let alone broken up 4 times. You are being foolish to keep getting back together when you are clearly incompatible. 2
Wiseman2 Posted September 30, 2020 Posted September 30, 2020 6 hours ago, kunaka1000 said: Since our last breakup for about 4 days, Everytime we've argued or had a fight even of the smallest thing, my gf's anxiety and her overthinking comes to play which has lead us to breaking up, 4 times to be exact. Sorry to hear this. On/off relationships indicate incompatibility and instability. You may be attached which is why you get back on the roller coaster, but overall there are multiple unresolved issues and poor communication and conflict resolution skills. Step way back, reflect and decide if this kind of drama is what you want. Keep in mind each breakup further erodes things. You can cut your losses now or wait until you are so burned out from this you'll have trouble trusting or dating anyone in the future. If she cites her mental health as the issue behind her constantly hurting and dumping you, let her go to doctors and therapists. Stay away this time. Stop trying to fix her. 2
ShyViolet Posted September 30, 2020 Posted September 30, 2020 You've only been together 6 months and you're already feeling like you're losing your feelings for her, and you've broken up 4 times? This relationship is definitely not working out. You need to stop wasting her time, and end it. You should not have to convince yourself or "make" yourself have feelings for your significant other, especially when you've only been together 6 months. 1
stillafool Posted September 30, 2020 Posted September 30, 2020 Well the good thing is you have not been together but 6 months and you are not married to her. It isn't working anymore, you're no longer feeling her so you need to make a break. I think you know this but don't want to hurt her. Someone always ends up hurt after a break up but it must be done. 1
smackie9 Posted October 3, 2020 Posted October 3, 2020 You can't fix this or her. She's too unstable of a person to be having a relationship with anyone. She's 31, she's had plenty of time to "work on it". She's just saying that to you to pacify you...she has no in tension of doing anything. You need to cut your losses.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 3, 2020 Posted October 3, 2020 On 9/30/2020 at 10:11 AM, kunaka1000 said: @ExpatInItaly Do you think so. When I got in the relationship, I had all guards down but eventually I pulled them back up to protect myself This is how you know it's time to end this mess, kunaka. You know this isn't what good relationship looks like.
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