d0nnivain Posted September 30, 2020 Posted September 30, 2020 Just now, CarAndZam said: Truth be told I’m still not sure how to act confident. Like people are staying stuff like “don’t let your fear control you, overcome it before a day”. that. I’m not scared to go on dates. Yes I’m nervous but I overcome it. Point is whether I’m fearful or not I get rejected a lot. If you are overcoming your fears you are already acting confidently. Being confident, as in not afraid to ask for the date, does not guarantee you will get dates. It just means you were brave enough to ask. Some famous basketball player said "You miss all the shots you don't take." Another sports analogy: the all time highest batting averages in baseball are in the .300s. That means they get 1 hit for every 3 times they are at bat & they are the best there is. This guys are the cream of the crop of the professionals & that is all they can go. So don't be so hard on yourself cause some woman won't go out with you a 2nd time.
Ruby Slippers Posted September 30, 2020 Posted September 30, 2020 Hey, if this girl has stuck by you through all the drama, she obviously really likes you. And you obviously really like her, given that you're going out of your way for her happiness. That's precious and rare. You need to work on your self-esteem issues. Everything flows from self-esteem. I speak from experience. My self-esteem was beaten up all throughout childhood by an abusive dad. It's taken me a long time to get to a point of true, unshakable confidence, and now I feel like nothing can stop me from fulfilling my dreams. I can only shake my head when I think about all the ways I sabotaged my own happiness in the past due to poor self-esteem. I recommended last time you get some counseling, and you said you can't afford it. There's free or cheap counseling available through colleges, churches, and humanitarian organizations. You can also read personal development books, and there are tons of good free videos on YouTube. Everybody has flaws, and in spite of those flaws, we all have something wonderful and unique to share with the world. Focus on that.
Azincourt Posted September 30, 2020 Posted September 30, 2020 Self-esteem is a killer where it concerns physical or emotional attraction. I've had friends of mine who got on paper everything going for them: house, good job, no debt, physically healthy, attractive. But they often fail at second a second dating, and even when they find themselves in a relationship it doesn't last long because their self-esteem has taken a knock, and it shows. Work on your self-esteem, and your dating life, and your quality of life will increase greatly. Easier said than done, but nothing is achieved without effort, so don't be afraid of reaching out to specialized help(doctors, counselors etc) to be able to deal with your own personal issues, properly.
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