How can I get rid of the thought that I'm too boring to be dateable?

[CarAndZam]

Hi guys it’s me again. Post here 2 months ago or so how I was concerned that a girl who I was dating found my Reddit account that possessed lots of personal information, post blew up! Thankfully she didn’t as her an I have been on 3 dates in the past month! 

I’ve been dating her since February. I’m 22 she 19. I really like this girl a lot. My dating life has been mostly one night stands, short term causal flings, or lots of rejections. Truth be told I’ve mostly been that guy that’s been concerned with getting laid rather than building something meaningful. I think it’s because I hate how vulnerable and insecure I feel when I like someone. I have strong insecurities that I’m a very boring person. You see grew up being bullied a lot. And grew under a s***ty marriage. Narcissistic mother and angry dad. As a result I’m a guy with low self esteem and confidence. And feel like I’m a boring individual, have too serious of a demeanor. Feel like I’m not exciting or charismatic enough, or masculine enough. And my experiences confirm this. I’ve been on 50 dates in total. 50 different girls I mean. Had sex with 22 of them, but most were one night stands. My ego has always been bothered by the large amount of rejections, but truth be told if I’m thinking on it never really cared about losing the girls. Rather I think I was just sad that they rejected me. I felt unlikeable and pathetic. But I wasn’t sad about actually losing them since all I cared about was sex. 

However it’s no the case with this girl. I really like her, I enjoy spending time with her, she increases my levels of happiness, I just enjoy her overall presence. Normally if a girl doesn’t when sex with me by the second or third date I move on since that’s basically what I’m looking for. Since this girl was a virgin she wanted to wait for a while and I was perfectly fine with it because I just enjoyed going on dates with her. I did eventually have sex with her on the 6th date and it was a beautiful experience. Our sex life continues to improve.  

And yet my insecurities are amplified when I really like a girl. And I’m REALLY falling for this one... like I just bought her a flower boutique type of falling. I’ve NEVER boughten a girl f***ing flowers and I bought them for her and surprised her with them at the end of our last date. Made sure they were her favorite flower end color and she really liked them. But I’m constantly filled with thoughts like:

“You’ve been rejected so many times. Eventually she’ll find you boring as the other have and dump your boring ass”. 

They say do you think you’re boring it’s self fulfilling prophecy and I’m not sure how to break this cycle. I feel because as a man who doesn’t have high social status, has lots of friends, doesn’t have this crazy adventurous life, or isn’t the most confident person on earth, makes me under desirable and unlovable. 

i mention this now cause I felt on our last date my thoughts were getting the better than me and felt like the date was pretty boring. Like I wasn’t be fun enough. I’m not even sure if their will be a next date cause who knows maybe she’s gotten bored already. But if not, how do I fix this assuming there’s a future with her? 

 

It doesn’t help that because I had this very heart breaking break up back in 2017, I found myself diving into red pill ideologies. Their self improvement aspects really helped me get where I am today, for this forever alone virgin to someone has no problem finding dates. However it never improved my inner issues that prevent me from being confident and emotionally connect with people, or get rid of the negative thoughts. In fact it’s made them worse because now I feel I have to achieve in becoming a  unattainable “high desirable man” image that doesn’t exist other than movies. 

Edited September 29, 2020 by CarAndZam

[La.Primavera]

My advice, fake it until you make it!   Things are already off to a promising start, so try not to sabotage the progress you've made with her by telling her your concerns. I only mention this because sometimes it turns into a cycle where you end up constantly looking to her to reassure you.  Nothing kills attraction quicker than someone looking for constant validation.

In terms of what you can do.  You could try talking to a professional for advice on helping building your confidence or reading self help books on the subject, if that is more your thing?  Learn a new skill or hobby to make you feel good about yourself.

I guess my point is, keep the focus on self improvement, rather than putting pressure on the relationship.  Even small steps towards self improvement will put you in a better state of mind, so it is worth exploring the options available to you.

 

[ccas93]

Fake it til you make it is great advice. Whatever you do, do not tell her your insecurities. It's not going to make her heart melt, showing insecurity like that is not cute, attractive nor endearing to women. In the meantime, work on yourself ...

develop yourself as a person, improve your social skills and charisma. Study social psychology and observe behavior confident, charismatic men and put yourself in new social situations. Develop new interests and hobbies that you can share with her, read as much as you can and learn how to have a conversation about anything. Don't be predictable, keep surprising her with stuff like flowers, cards, gifts.

Also ask yourself: is she that interesting? Is she even interesting enough for you? What does she like to do/talk about? I find that if you always think "am I good enough, am I good enough" girls pick up on that and realize they have the power in the relationship.. and you lose your value. Show that you're evaluating her as well and that she's also subject to your judgement. 

May I ask what you guys did on your last date?

 

 

Edited September 30, 2020 by ccas93

[CarAndZam]

44 minutes ago, ccas93 said:

Fake it til you make it is great advice. Whatever you do, do not tell her your insecurities. It's not going to make her heart melt, showing insecurity like that is not cute, attractive nor endearing to women. In the meantime, work on yourself ...

develop yourself as a person, improve your social skills and charisma. Study social psychology and observe behavior confident, charismatic men and put yourself in new social situations. Develop new interests and hobbies that you can share with her, read as much as you can and learn how to have a conversation about anything. Don't be predictable, keep surprising her with stuff like flowers, cards, gifts.

Also ask yourself: is she that interesting? Is she even interesting enough for you? What does she like to do/talk about? I find that if you always think "am I good enough, am I good enough" girls pick up on that and realize they have the power in the relationship.. and you lose your value. Show that you're evaluating her as well and that she's also subject to your judgement. 

May I ask what you guys did 

we decided to 

44 minutes ago, ccas93 said:

 

Yeah she’s interesting enough to me cause we have similar interest, particularly films and video games. She’s into gardening, we mostly talk about stuff like school, video games, films, memories, teasing, past dates, what we did the past week, you know typical stuff. We decided to just take it chill last time and go back to my place and game it up. Played the new Mario collection game, and cuphead haha. We had sex of course. Then we finished the night with some Mc flurries. She mentioned wanting to go get ice cream next date, and I said Korean BBQ as I never tried it. Still I haven’t heard from her since that last date. We usually don’t text much between dates but still I gave her flowers and surprised I haven’t heard from her.

 

yes I know not to tell her my insecurities. I don’t talk about that type of stuff to anybody at all. But I’m sure she can pick up on it. And THAT makes me even more insecure. I feel like whenever I’m out with a girl I feel like I’m on  a date with a nazgul. Something that can sense my insecurities and fear. 

 
 

 

[CarAndZam]

I’m always trying to improve myself but then I feel like I take on too many hobbies. Like right now I barely have time to do anything cause of college and work. But I try to read some books here and there, and play guitar and bicycle ride when I can. I’m gonna get into model building starting with Bandai model kits. I barley have time for video games 

[CarAndZam]

What does fake it till you make it even mean? What do I fake??

[ccas93]

4 minutes ago, CarAndZam said:

What does fake it till you make it even mean? What do I fake??

I noticed in your past posts that you're a very literal person. Not a bad thing necessarily, but is a common trait of someone who overthinks a lot. You don't need to literally fake anything. Just don't give away your insecurities, and keep being yourself. Sounds like things are going well in the present. You didn't talk to her for like 6 weeks or something recently right? She came down a sickness? 

[CarAndZam]

9 minutes ago, ccas93 said:

I noticed in your past posts that you're a very literal person. Not a bad thing necessarily, but is a common trait of someone who overthinks a lot. You don't need to literally fake anything. Just don't give away your insecurities, and keep being yourself. Sounds like things are going well in the present. You didn't talk to her for like 6 weeks or something recently right? She came down a sickness? 

Ah got you. 
 

And yes! She got sick. Her whole family got COVID. Apparently she didn’t. but everybody else. She did get sick but came back negative but they were all isolating. Once they all came back negative and hit me up and asked me to go out same weekend ! Been on 3 dates since. 

[ccas93]

1 minute ago, CarAndZam said:

Ah got you. 
 

And yes! She got sick. Her whole family got COVID. Apparently she didn’t. but everybody else. She did get sick but came back negative but they were all isolating. Once they all came back negative and hit me up and asked me to go out same weekend ! Been on 3 dates since. 

Ok well glad to hear it sounds like her family ended up getting past it. As far as things go with her, you didn't speak for 6 weeks. 99% of people probably would have moved on from you in that amount of time. But she didn't. i mean, if she thinks you're interesting enough to just resume dating you after that time, I wouldn't be too worried. 

[assertives]

If you haven't heard from her since the last date, try hitting her up to set up the next date? Can just be a simple text or phone call and ask, "hey, any plans for the coming weekend? wanna grab dinner/lunch/coffee/ *insert whatever here*?" Do you often wait for her to contact you? If you are interested in her, you need to initiate contact too. 

49 minutes ago, CarAndZam said:

Still I haven’t heard from her since that last date. We usually don’t text much between dates but still I gave her flowers and surprised I haven’t heard from her.

Also, just wanted to add, dating is a try out, to see if you are both compatible for something eventually long-term. So while the other advices of faking till you make it is good, you ultimately want to be yourself and not put up a persona that you think others want, this isn't sustainable. Be yourself, but definitely do work on being a better version of yourself and improving who you are not for anyone but for yourself. Who you ultimately want to be as a person. It's a lifelong process, so take it a step at a time.

Edited September 30, 2020 by assertives

[Dork Vader]

6 hours ago, CarAndZam said:

Hi guys it’s me again. Post here 2 months ago or so how I was concerned that a girl who I was dating found my Reddit account that possessed lots of personal information, post blew up! Thankfully she didn’t as her an I have been on 3 dates in the past month! 

I’ve been dating her since February. I’m 22 she 19. I really like this girl a lot. My dating life has been mostly one night stands, short term causal flings, or lots of rejections. Truth be told I’ve mostly been that guy that’s been concerned with getting laid rather than building something meaningful. I think it’s because I hate how vulnerable and insecure I feel when I like someone. I have strong insecurities that I’m a very boring person. You see grew up being bullied a lot. And grew under a s***ty marriage. Narcissistic mother and angry dad. As a result I’m a guy with low self esteem and confidence. And feel like I’m a boring individual, have too serious of a demeanor. Feel like I’m not exciting or charismatic enough, or masculine enough. And my experiences confirm this. I’ve been on 50 dates in total. 50 different girls I mean. Had sex with 22 of them, but most were one night stands. My ego has always been bothered by the large amount of rejections, but truth be told if I’m thinking on it never really cared about losing the girls. Rather I think I was just sad that they rejected me. I felt unlikeable and pathetic. But I wasn’t sad about actually losing them since all I cared about was sex. 

However it’s no the case with this girl. I really like her, I enjoy spending time with her, she increases my levels of happiness, I just enjoy her overall presence. Normally if a girl doesn’t when sex with me by the second or third date I move on since that’s basically what I’m looking for. Since this girl was a virgin she wanted to wait for a while and I was perfectly fine with it because I just enjoyed going on dates with her. I did eventually have sex with her on the 6th date and it was a beautiful experience. Our sex life continues to improve.  

And yet my insecurities are amplified when I really like a girl. And I’m REALLY falling for this one... like I just bought her a flower boutique type of falling. I’ve NEVER boughten a girl f***ing flowers and I bought them for her and surprised her with them at the end of our last date. Made sure they were her favorite flower end color and she really liked them. But I’m constantly filled with thoughts like:

“You’ve been rejected so many times. Eventually she’ll find you boring as the other have and dump your boring ass”. 

They say do you think you’re boring it’s self fulfilling prophecy and I’m not sure how to break this cycle. I feel because as a man who doesn’t have high social status, has lots of friends, doesn’t have this crazy adventurous life, or isn’t the most confident person on earth, makes me under desirable and unlovable. 

i mention this now cause I felt on our last date my thoughts were getting the better than me and felt like the date was pretty boring. Like I wasn’t be fun enough. I’m not even sure if their will be a next date cause who knows maybe she’s gotten bored already. But if not, how do I fix this assuming there’s a future with her? 

 

It doesn’t help that because I had this very heart breaking break up back in 2017, I found myself diving into red pill ideologies. Their self improvement aspects really helped me get where I am today, for this forever alone virgin to someone has no problem finding dates. However it never improved my inner issues that prevent me from being confident and emotionally connect with people, or get rid of the negative thoughts. In fact it’s made them worse because now I feel I have to achieve in becoming a  unattainable “high desirable man” image that doesn’t exist other than movies. 

Read a few books on self esteem.

[MsJayne]

You got me at "narcissistic mother and angry dad. Snap! Me too. No need to discuss their behaviour or what your life was like, I've seen the movie . The upside is that the negative garbage you were fed growing up is just that, garbage, and you can get past it. What you're experiencing is well-documented on various websites so I won't bang on about it, but the thing is, you're not alone, billions of people live with the effects of being raised by a parent with unacknowledged mental health issues. If you feel that these thoughts and feelings are interfering with your life in a big way maybe a therapist is the way to go, you don't have to live with the negative thought patterns. You're not boring, you're obviously an intellectual, you're interested in a variety of things, you have hobbies, you're sensitive and you have a sense of humour.  Don't ever underestimate the mega-pulling power of sense of humour in a guy.  Just be yourself around your girl , try to relax and lighten up, and stop worrying that you're not "enough".  

[Azincourt]

Most people in relationships didn't graduate with a Philosophy degree, with a minor in Voltaire studies. You'll do fine, don't worry about coming across as being boring because the right woman or the right man for you is going to like you just the way you are.  You just need to meet enough people and you'll soon enough find yourself in a relationship with someone as into you as you are into her.

Just follow the golden rule.

A)Hit the Gym hard if you haven't already.

B)take care of your personal hygiene, that means sparkling white teeth and body odour smelling great.

C) don't put too much stock into being rejected when/if you do, just go meet other women.

[schlumpy]

Concentrate of what you have in common. Change up the small things to keep things from falling into boring pattern. Once in a while do a novelty date.

It seems as if you are moving out of the shallow end of the pool for deeper waters. Learn how to swim.

[d0nnivain]

7 hours ago, CarAndZam said:

What does fake it till you make it even mean? What do I fake??

It means if you act like you are confident even if you are not feeling confident, eventually you will develop confidence.  

If you can't afford therapy, which you desperately need to get past the trauma of your childhood, at least start reading books about building self esteem.  There are websites too but beware of the quacks. 

You were journaling sort of on Reddit.  Stop that.  Continue writing down your feelings but do it in a notebook or save it to your own computer for your eyes only.  Password protect everything. 

Meanwhile become interesting.  You don't have to be James Bond, an international spy,  or famous to be interesting.  Just be you.  Do the things that interest you & make you unique.  Immerse yourself in your hobbies & become a subject matter expert (meaning you know more than the average person, not that you have to be the world's leading authority on something).  For example if you couldn't tell from my avatar, I love Dalmatians.  I have a new one & have been taking obedience classes with her.  I'm hoping to get into agility with her.  That might not be everyone's cup of tea but it makes me interesting because it's not something everyone does; it's unique even though I am not the only one in the world doing it.  Do you understand?

Another thing you can do is become well read -- you know the classics.  They will give you a good foundation about life.  Even if you are not a reader, almost all of them are movies.  Watch some classic movies too.  Be up on current events.  Watch the news & educate yourself about what is going on around you.  People who are engaged in the world around them are interesting.  

[CarAndZam]

4 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

It means if you act like you are confident even if you are not feeling confident, eventually you will develop confidence.  

If you can't afford therapy, which you desperately need to get past the trauma of your childhood, at least start reading books about building self esteem.  There are websites too but beware of the quacks. 

You were journaling sort of on Reddit.  Stop that.  Continue writing down your feelings but do it in a notebook or save it to your own computer for your eyes only.  Password protect everything. 

Meanwhile become interesting.  You don't have to be James Bond, an international spy,  or famous to be interesting.  Just be you.  Do the things that interest you & make you unique.  Immerse yourself in your hobbies & become a subject matter expert (meaning you know more than the average person, not that you have to be the world's leading authority on something).  For example if you couldn't tell from my avatar, I love Dalmatians.  I have a new one & have been taking obedience classes with her.  I'm hoping to get into agility with her.  That might not be everyone's cup of tea but it makes me interesting because it's not something everyone does; it's unique even though I am not the only one in the world doing it.  Do you understand?

Another thing you can do is become well read -- you know the classics.  They will give you a good foundation about life.  Even if you are not a reader, almost all of them are movies.  Watch some classic movies too.  Be up on current events.  Watch the news & educate yourself about what is going on around you.  People who are engaged in the world around them are interesting.  

How does one act confident though? What does it even mean to “act”. It’s such a foreign concept to me that I don’t understand it...

[Azincourt]

Quote

How does one act confident though? What does it even mean to “act”. It’s such a foreign concept to me that I don’t understand it...

You see that Victoria's Secret model?(or any other woman you think is hot)

You go up to her and you strike a conversation.

She ignores you or she is cold towards you while talking to you, meaning she doesn't flirt back?

You shrug it off and you go talk to other women. It doesn't matter if you get rejected, 1 time, 10 times, 100 times. It's a numbers game.

Now when it comes to dating, how do you be confindent?

You're funny. You're charming. You're attentive. 

It takes time, practice,  to develop these persornality traits that will make you socially attractive to many women, and you will fail at the beginning quite a bit, but I reckon you're what, early 20s, so you have lots and lots of time to become confident on your own.

Just remember.  You're not  a loser for not being a confidence machine gun. Everyone struggles with dating.

 

 

[mark clemson]

Buy a Maserati and become a day trader?   (Note: that was sarcasm.)

 

16 hours ago, CarAndZam said:

And yet my insecurities are amplified when I really like a girl.

THAT is completely normal and unavoidable. Welcome to the world of genuine feelings. However, if it continues once the relationship is actually well established, see below.

 

16 hours ago, CarAndZam said:

However it never improved my inner issues that prevent me from being confident and emotionally connect with people, or get rid of the negative thoughts. In fact it’s made them worse because now I feel I have to achieve in becoming a  unattainable “high desirable man” image that doesn’t exist other than movies. 

Well, that's because fixing your inner emotional state isn't something an internet "philosophy" for hard up males can actually DO.

You need a therapist IMO for your insecurities and negative thoughts. Hopefully you get a good one (they vary a lot in quality I think). Don't hesitate to shop around. If I were you I would consider spending money on it - it's an investment in YOU and in your ongoing happiness/satisfaction with life.

Presumably with some work, you reach or can at least approximate what's known as secure attachment with your romantic partners. It doesn't mean they'll stick around or behave the way you want them to, but it'll put you in a place of emotional strength (without becoming some sort of fake "image") where you have a halfway decent chance of being able to do what's right for you and for your partner, depending on the situation, while experiencing less distress over LTRs' inevitable ups and downs.

 

Edit: Just to add - I believe that boring guys (if they aren't TOO boring) are sometimes seen as "dad material" by the ladies, so being a bit low-key may actually help you when marriage time rolls around.

Edited September 30, 2020 by mark clemson

[DarrenB]

You need some self-belief pal, don't judge yourself or be too critical but be constructive. 

Continue working on self-preservation and fulfillment, look back on the progress you've made since your initial downfall - must be immense right? which also means you're doing things correctly. Keep up the good work, stay grounded, don't give too much away to anyone just yet. 

[Azincourt]

27 minutes ago, mark clemson said:

Buy a Maserati and become a day trader?   (Note: that was sarcasm.)

I know you said that in jest, but it's not a bad idea. I know a guy who lives on the street down from my own. The guy owns one of those 200 000 euros cars, brand new, and every 3 months he has a new living-in girlfriend.   He's not rich, but he stands as a good example of not needing to be what a guy appears to be, to come across as something that women find to be attractive. OP could learn from that.

27 minutes ago, mark clemson said:

 

THAT is completely normal and unavoidable. Welcome to the world of genuine feelings. However, if it continues once the relationship is actually well established, see below.

 

Well, that's because fixing your inner emotional state isn't something an internet "philosophy" for hard up males can actually DO.

Bootcamp can fix anything, but I don't think OP is going to join the military to fix his feelings. Heavy lifting, mountain-climbing, basically working a sweat as much as possibly, physically, will help him get his emotions under control.

27 minutes ago, mark clemson said:

You need a therapist IMO for your insecurities and negative thoughts. Hopefully you get a good one (they vary a lot in quality I think). Don't hesitate to shop around. If I were you I would consider spending money on it - it's an investment in YOU and in your ongoing happiness/satisfaction with life.

Yes, I agree with this. a Therapist would do him wonders, and there's nothing wrong about taking help when help is needed. It's a good investment. Most of the people who come to loveshack asking for advice are people who'd benefit more from mental health help than from dating advice.

 

27 minutes ago, mark clemson said:

Presumably with some work, you reach or can at least approximate what's known as secure attachment with your romantic partners. It doesn't mean they'll stick around or behave the way you want them to, but it'll put you in a place of emotional strength (without becoming some sort of fake "image") where you have a halfway decent chance of being able to do what's right for you and for your partner, depending on the situation, while experiencing less distress over LTRs' inevitable ups and downs

 

There's no certainty in life. You could be the best boyfriend in the world, and there would be women who'd leave you for their own varied reasons, and you could be the worst boyfriend in the world, and there'd be women who would never dream of leaving you because they're strangely happy with the way that you are. If you need emotional nurturing and companionship, my advice is to get a dog if you can afford one and if you have the money and time to do so.

27 minutes ago, mark clemson said:

.

 

Edit: Just to add - I believe that boring guys (if they aren't TOO boring) are sometimes seen as "dad material" by the ladies, so being a bit low-key may actually help you when marriage time rolls around.

Yes,  yes. You raise a good point. There are plenty of women who'll make you wait for sex(even when they're attracted to you) because they don't want to ''mess it up'' by sleeping with the guy outright, instead they prefer to make the guy wait months, while he proves his worth as a boyfriend. If you're college educated, have a good job, life savings, money in the bank, you seem responsible, and someone they would love to introduce to their parents as her boyfriend?

You don't want to be that guy.

What you want to do is to come across as a meathead. So you hit the gym hard, you get a tan, get teeth-withening procedures, you wear tank tops(muscle t-shirts) you start wearing beach shorts everywhere, and you pretend to have low levels of intelligence.  If they have the hots for you, they'll jump your bones quick enough, and if you like them enough, you slowly come out of your knuckheaded disguise, and you become their boyfriends. But be careful about it, or you might be downgraded to ''husband material.''

[smackie9]

obviously you are trying to pinpoint why you have all this rejection...my advice....whatever you have been doing, do the opposite.

[d0nnivain]

3 hours ago, CarAndZam said:

How does one act confident though? What does it even mean to “act”. It’s such a foreign concept to me that I don’t understand it...

Think about a situation where you were feeling scared or nervous.  What did you do?  

What you need to do in that situation is take a deep breath, will yourself to calm down, tell yourself "I got this" & move forward.  

For example if you are nervous before a date.  Do what I said -- deep breath, calm yourself, then get out of the car & walk over to your date.  Act as if you are without fear even when you are shaking inside.  If you have to remind yourself of your own good qualities.  Don't just focus on the bad.  Take an action.  Say hi.  Smile 

Edited September 30, 2020 by d0nnivain

[mark clemson]

Uh, @Azincourt I see you decide to quote me specifically when making general points, possibly because you are reacting to my post via association. That's fine, but suffice it to say that, while there's some points you make I agree with, there's many I do not.

OP, please do not interpret my lack of a follow up response to suggestions that you actually take up day trading, that most posters here could use mental help, or that you create a false persona in order to lure in women when you seem to be fine at getting dates as tacit agreement. It is not.

[Azincourt]

Quote

Think about a situation where you were feeling scared or nervous.  What did you do?  

Quote

What you need to do in that situation is take a deep breath, will yourself to calm down, tell yourself "I got this" & move forward.  

Yes, you mustn't let your fear and your insecurities take a hold of you. It takes time and effort to master yourself but Rome wasn't built in a day, was it.

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

That is from a book called Dune by Frank Herbert. It's been made into a movie, already done I believe. You should pick it up, I think you'd enjoy it.

Edited September 30, 2020 by Azincourt

[CarAndZam]

I’m actually have Dune on the way. Ordered this very nice edition from Folio Society. I’ve read a bit of the book already but haven’t often far. Can’t wait! 
 

But I agree with others, I don’t want to fake a persona. I’m already overthinking and neurotic enough. Having to conjure up a fake image of myself and acting in a way that just isn’t me will have a hugely negative impact on me mentally. 
 

Truth be told I’m still not sure how to act confident. Like people are staying stuff like “don’t let your fear control you, overcome it before a day”. 
 

and I do that. I’m not scared to go on dates. Yes I’m nervous but I overcome it. Point is whether I’m fearful or not I get rejected a lot. Another said do the opposite of what I’m doing... meaning? I don’t know what the opposites of what I’m doing is. Cause I have no idea what I’m doing. I usually propose going out for something chill like a taco place, then drink it up at my place. But most cut the date short and ghost me. 
 

I don’t know how to act the opposite of me. I’m a very neutral person. I’m not an a**h*** nor a nice guy. I don’t talk too much nor do I stay too quiet. ... I don’t know what else to say haha