xforeverlove20 Posted September 28, 2020 Posted September 28, 2020 (edited) I added this guy I knew from Uni on Instagram (awhile back). Anyways, I posted a story (of myself with a caption) and he replied back to it (sent a DM). After that I told him to text me instead and we exchanged numbers. We kept talking a lot. I would send him rows of texts and he would do the same back and ask a lot of follow up questions. I feel like he really opened up and wasn’t just replying/agreeing with what I said (gave actual input/updates on his own life). The day we started talking he asked me how my parents met and told me how his parents fell in love during Uni and married young then went like how if he doesn't find a girl by the time he is 32 then he will use a matrimonial ad (as a joke). He told me his ideal marriage age (28-29; currently he is 21) and asked me what mine is. He also spoke about his future plans (including plans for the next year) and asked me what mine were and what my career goals are. He would also casually mention how he goes to the gym a lot and stuff. He told me about his interview then told me he got the job (around the same time he learned about it). He went kind of MIA the other day and I talked to a mutual friend about this and he told me that he was moving places and not to take it personal. The next day he texted me and the first thing he said was “Sorry, been busy, I've been moving within ____ and I have a bunch of handy man work lol”. I also showed the mutual friend the messages between him and I; he was surprised because this is the most he’s ever seen him text someone and is usually a bad texter who sends 1 short reply a day. Not sure if his goal is to pursue me romantically or to just become friends. Edited September 28, 2020 by xforeverlove20
Wiseman2 Posted September 28, 2020 Posted September 28, 2020 Is this long distance? Do you know each other in person? Unfortunately it seems like the friend zone. Do not show his private conversation to your mutual friend. That's not good. Even though you are just pen pals, now he can't trust you with anything he sends because you are betraying him with your gossip and showing people his texts. He is busy. Why not find local guys to date that you don't have to chase this hard. 2
smackie9 Posted September 29, 2020 Posted September 29, 2020 (edited) He might be interested on some level but.....he hasn't flirted or mentioned meeting so don't hold your breath. All you got there is a penpal. If you want things to move in that direction, you have to throw him a bone....some guys need strong signals to make a move. And stop involving other people...it can blow up in your face. Edited September 29, 2020 by smackie9 3
Watercolors Posted September 29, 2020 Posted September 29, 2020 Wiseman and smackie are 100% correct. You have a nice pen pal but nothing more. AND, it was not a smart move to show his private text messages to your mutual friend. Because now you've essentially involved the mutual friend as the go-between, who is going to tell the guy that you showed him/her his text messages. So, prepare yourself for a confrontational text message once that conversation with the mutual friend takes place. The only way you can salvage that mistake, is to come clean and tell this guy, "Hey. You went MIA so I showed your texts to our mutual friend because I was worried about you..." That way you are being honest and dealing with your mistake upfront. And, if you are developing feelings for this guy via text message, you need to tell him this information so he can decide if he wants to reciprocate romantic feelings, or just keep it platonic with you. 1
alphamale Posted September 30, 2020 Posted September 30, 2020 4 hours ago, Watercolors said: Wiseman and smackie are 100% correct. You have a nice pen pal but nothing more. AND, it was not a smart move to show his private text messages to your mutual friend. Because now you've essentially involved the mutual friend as the go-between, who is going to tell the guy that you showed him/her his text messages. So, prepare yourself for a confrontational text message once that conversation with the mutual friend takes place. The only way you can salvage that mistake, is to come clean and tell this guy, "Hey. You went MIA so I showed your texts to our mutual friend because I was worried about you..." That way you are being honest and dealing with your mistake upfront. And, if you are developing feelings for this guy via text message, you need to tell him this information so he can decide if he wants to reciprocate romantic feelings, or just keep it platonic with you. ^^^this 1
d0nnivain Posted September 30, 2020 Posted September 30, 2020 I'm leaning toward not interested. He has not moved off testing which is a lame throw away way to stay in touch. He's making no effort so don't day dream about a romance with a guy who can't out his phone down
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