Azincourt Posted September 30, 2020 Posted September 30, 2020 On 9/27/2020 at 8:46 AM, JasonLevi said: It’s an old story. We meet someone, we click, we chat, we laugh, we flirt, we may even kiss and more, but then...the other person suddenly become busy. They take a long while to respond to our messages, they can’t meet up very often, etc. How does the average person react? The average person will make excuses. Here are examples from fellow LoveShackers found in posts from the last 2 weeks: 1. The timing was not right for them. 2. He’s just not a great communicator. 3. She’s playing hard to get. 4. She’s really shy. 5. He’s just not ready for a relationship. 6. He’s broke so despite my insisting that we meet, he just doesn’t want to at the moment. 7. Her medication messed up her chemistry for me! (Really?!) I am as much of a victim of this self-deception as any of these posters. I dated a woman, and we were great together etc, but she was aloof, and would only want to meet up once every 1 or 2 weeks even though she didn’t have a job at the time, and we both lived 30 minutes from each other. She didn’t really want to get physical with me and suggested we meet outdoors for any dates. I made up a ton of excuses for her behavior – she’s shy, she’s just very independent, she’s got a lot on her plate right now. Yet, the truth was that she was just not interested. People who are interested will find time, want to talk to you, will initiate etc. It’s only a month after we broke up that I can see the matter clearly. Now of course there can be legitimate reasons for someone becoming distant, but usually it’s their lack of interest. Our tendency to self-deception is very strong when we like someone. How should we keep our perspective as objective and sound as possible when we like someone romantically? Let’s brainstorm! Well, people should take into account their age, level of physical attractiveness, and their personal income as to figure out what kind of partner can they get. Can a 30 year old average-looking baker get a 19 year old Victoria's Secret model? No. Nearly impossible! Can an average-looking 19 year old soccer player get a Playboy cover model? Sure, when that 19 year old makes 5 million euros after taxes per year. men need to stop going after women who are younger than them(by 10 years). Women need to stop going after known womanizers. Men need to stop trying to get with attractive women when they're nothing special and don't have money. Women need to stop sleeping with rich men who have girlfriends in the hopes they will get promoted from side chick to main chick. Men need to stop paying for dates with women they haven't even had sex with, and will probably never will if she expects money to spend time with him, and women need to stop pursuing and fixating on men who are wishy-washy, and have made it clear to them that they aren't ready to commit. etc etc.
MeadowFlower Posted October 4, 2020 Posted October 4, 2020 On 9/30/2020 at 2:51 PM, snowboy91 said: A few others have mentioned what to do if it's a breadcrumbing situation - even though they've contacted you, it still falls under "they're not into you". Or at least, not into you enough for it to be worth your effort. And can I apply their advice to someone in not technically dating, but who is on a friend level?
snowboy91 Posted October 5, 2020 Posted October 5, 2020 14 hours ago, MeadowFlower said: And can I apply their advice to someone in not technically dating, but who is on a friend level? I guess so. I would think of it this way - if someone wants to spend time with you, they will make the effort to do so - I can't see how that would change between a purely friendship situation or dating. I mean, if I met someone who I enjoy hanging out with as a friend, why wouldn't I want to make the effort to spend more time with them? 1
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