mortensorchid Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 In 2006, I was out of control - horrible, stressful job, fat and doing a commute of 75 miles round trip that was killing me. Physical and mental health was bad, got fired from my job. I spent most of 2006 unemployed (3 jobs) but I also decided to commit myself to dropping the weight. I joined Weight Watchers and I lost 40lbs. Got back down to the middle range of my high school weight. All around me praised me for my job well done. It's 15 years later, I put back on about 25lbs. Since the shutdown, I rejoined WW and lost those 25lbs (give or take). My friends this time around are not as happy about it. They are calling me Skeletor or Kate Moss. I look the same since dropping all the weight the first time. I boast about the fact that you can see the bones in my back and chest, my legs are still solid chunks of farmer flesh but not Kim Kardashian's. My butt is smaller than hers. I weighed myself today and dropped 2 more lbs and felt happy about it. Why the different reactions to it this time around? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 First reason would be the boasting. While I can't speak for cultures other than my own, where I live, people who boast get shut right down. Second reason would be that the bones in your chest and back are visible. They are suggesting that you are looking emaciated. Put a couple of kgs back on and stop boasting. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery4u Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 Hard to say without knowing your actual weight/height etc. Boasting about seeing bones in your back and chest? That's not really something to boast about.. if you can see your bones then that is not a pretty sight, maybe you went too far? Link to post Share on other sites
ajequals Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 Women can be cruel. and rather jealous. Do what makes you happy Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 Shaming you for losing weight which is a healthy activity to do? Those women are not friends to you. https://qz.com/quartzy/1172680/weight-loss-tip-studies-show-friends-can-sabotage-your-efforts/ Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 You are boasting about it and have to ask why they are not happy about it? Stop boasting. It's also annoying if you're obsessed with it and it's all you talk about, especially if it's around women who are having trouble losing weight. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 It's not the boasting. It's the fact that they gained weight during the shut down & you are losing weight. They feel out of control while you have retained control & mastered a tough problem. Can't say I'm not jealous. I hate my covid-15+ but I stress bake & this is what happens. Brag to WW support folks. Join a weight loss app community & celebrate with them. Chalk your friends' reactions up to jealousy & be secretly proud of yourself for causing it. Congratulations, btw! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mortensorchid Posted September 26, 2020 Author Share Posted September 26, 2020 23 hours ago, Mystery4u said: Hard to say without knowing your actual weight/height etc. Boasting about seeing bones in your back and chest? That's not really something to boast about.. if you can see your bones then that is not a pretty sight, maybe you went too far? I am 5'10" and now weigh 141lbs. I was about this weight when I was in high school, maybe 5 lbs more. I posted a silly video I shot of myself and someone said I am too thin and need to gain back some weight. I said one can never be too rich or too thin. No matter how much I calorie counting or working out I do, I will never have skinny legs but solid chunks of farmer's flesh. I have to accept that fact. Boasting? Well I am happy about the fact that I have lost weight and others can see it. It's not often one can say they lost an Olsen twin. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted September 26, 2020 Share Posted September 26, 2020 Congratulations on your weight loss! Without meaning to, your well earned pride in the accomplishment might be off-putting to your friends if they are battling their own weight problems, or maybe even some other type of problem. You absolutely should enjoy it, but maybe be more selective on who you "boast" to. As in most things in life - know your audience. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 26, 2020 Share Posted September 26, 2020 1 hour ago, mortensorchid said: Boasting? Well I am happy about the fact that I have lost weight and others can see it. You should feel happy about it! But boasting is never a good look. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted September 29, 2020 Share Posted September 29, 2020 Congrats on your weight loss! You're at a healthy weight for your height. Real friends will celebrate with you and draw inspiration from you. But fake friends will be jealous and catty. This applies to any area - weight, love, money. All my friends are happy for me when I'm doing well, and I for them. Over the years I've let any haters and debbie downers fade out of my life. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted September 30, 2020 Share Posted September 30, 2020 Well done! It's the only way forward when life falls apart, self-care, I think, but I've done my share of unhealthy stuff so I understand when people do that too. Loads of people have gained weight during the pandemic situation, they'll lose it again later when things settle down but for now it's probably not good to talk too much about weight around them. And there are some people with unresolved body or nutrition issues it's never good to talk about it around them...they don't want to hear any advice or encouragement about how you did it or to celebrate your sense of accomplishment with something that's so difficult for them. Be empathetic and celebrate with people who enjoy your success- and with yourself every time you get dressed or look in the mirror. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 Congratulations for the weight loss! It's jealousy and envy. It will pass. Who here can say they've never been a little jealous of a friend accomplishment. It's human. Women's body change with the years and our mass rise. At 18 I was 125-lbs and chubby, at my age at 125-lbs I am skinny so you have to be careful of your goal. When I had a tummy tuck one of my sisters in law was completely against it and fought me every step of it....the following year she had her own tummy tuck. I still love her. Link to post Share on other sites
xxcazaxx Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 Personally I think it could be one of two things - that they are genuinely worried about you (especially if you can see your bones) or jealousy Link to post Share on other sites
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