Blondegirl89 Posted September 24, 2020 Posted September 24, 2020 I recently met this guy for a date, we went for dinner which lasted about 3 hours. We then went for a walk afterwards. Eventually we said goodbye. We shared a nice goodbye kiss. The thing is, we’ve been chatting back and forth for a while now since the date and he uses an insane amount of gifs in the chats. If I ask him something he will reply with a gif, he knows I’m not the biggest fan of them and would rather communicate as opposed to sending gifs. I should also mention he’s 32 so I’m guessing should he open for communication as opposed to just gifs. I noticed he also changed his profile name to “looking for dates”. Which to be honest was a bit of a kick in the stomach. I don’t care if he dates others it’s just changing his profile name to just dates kinda pissed me off. Anyway I know I’ve know right to be annoyed for him changing his name but to me that’s a clear cut sign he isn’t feeling it the same with the constant gif sending. am I wrong?
Alvi Posted September 24, 2020 Posted September 24, 2020 (edited) 41 minutes ago, Blondegirl89 said: The thing is, we’ve been chatting back and forth for a while now since the date and he uses an insane amount of gifs in the chats. This is his communication style I guess. Perhaps he doesn't quite know how to use his words or he is not quite serious about dating or life. Or some sort of defense mechanism for him. Who knows. The question here would be, does it work for you? Would that make you happy in a long term? If not, NEXT. 41 minutes ago, Blondegirl89 said: he knows I’m not the biggest fan of them and would rather communicate as opposed to sending gifs Did you tell him point blank that you would rather communicate with words and he still sends you this nonsense? If so, NEXT Did you talk on the phone at all? 41 minutes ago, Blondegirl89 said: I should also mention he’s 32 so I’m guessing should he open for communication as opposed to just gifs. You would think that a 32 years old should be able to communicate more effectively, But again, the question needs to be how you feel about it, not what he does. He is what he is, don't expect that you would be able to change him. There are plenty of guys out there who are able to express themselves without all that silliness. 41 minutes ago, Blondegirl89 said: noticed he also changed his profile name to “looking for dates”. Which to be honest was a bit of a kick in the stomach. I don’t care if he dates others it’s just changing his profile name to just dates kinda pissed me off. It's only been ONE date. He is allowed to change his profile the way he wants. He doesn't need your permission. Maybe he decided that for now he just wants to date, he doesn't want a relationship. You are probably right, he is not that serious about you. But it's only been one date so far, you can't expect him to be that serious about you yet. Again, who knows what is going on in his head. You should be asking yourself if all this works for you. You two are on a different wavelength as it seems. Edited September 24, 2020 by Alvi 3
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted September 24, 2020 Posted September 24, 2020 Sending gifs is an easy, superficial way to reply without having to make a real effort at connecting. 5 1
kendahke Posted September 24, 2020 Posted September 24, 2020 (edited) 57 minutes ago, Blondegirl89 said: I noticed he also changed his profile name to “looking for dates”. This sounds like he's managing your expectations, Edited September 24, 2020 by kendahke 5 1 1
Wiseman2 Posted September 24, 2020 Posted September 24, 2020 55 minutes ago, Blondegirl89 said: I recently met this guy for a date, we went for dinner which lasted about 3 hours. we’ve been chatting back and forth for a while now since the date and he uses an insane amount of gifs in the chats. I noticed he also changed his profile name to “looking for dates”. Delete and block him. he's a time-waster. If he's not asking you out and sends nonsense and breadcrumbs instead, he's not interested. Unfortunately there are many one-and-done dates and no matter how well it seemed to go, people meet others and simply move on. 1 2
Author Blondegirl89 Posted September 24, 2020 Author Posted September 24, 2020 Yeah I feel like I should just cut it loose, gonna meet him for coffee tomorrow and get a sense of where his head is at and see from there. I’m just starting to get fed up with dating at this point. I just keep meeting f***boys. 1
Wiseman2 Posted September 24, 2020 Posted September 24, 2020 1 minute ago, Blondegirl89 said: Yeah I feel like I should just cut it loose, gonna meet him for coffee tomorrow and get a sense of where his head is at and see from there. I’m just starting to get fed up with dating at this point. I just keep meeting f***boys. Are you on quality (paid) dating apps? Do you have avenues to meet men in real life such as sports, groups, clubs, classes, volunteering, etc?. Have you carefully considered your screening criteria to avoid time wasters and hookups? 1 1
smackie9 Posted September 24, 2020 Posted September 24, 2020 Well it turns out he's a bit of a doofus, lucky for you, you have nothing really invested. Block/delete, move on. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted September 24, 2020 Posted September 24, 2020 (edited) I have an acquaintance who does this (non-romantic, this is a woman) and TBH I've just stopped answering her. At first I'd go "That's hilarious" and mention something connected to the GIF and then ask her how she was, and...sparkly friggin' angel. Eventually after one of my desperate "what's up?" or "what did you guys do over Christmas?" or "how is working from home going?" or something replies, I'd get "I'm great, you?" Back to a series of like 2 weeks of GIFs, no answer to my reply to that. Like...NO meaningful conversation, LOL. I could have told her I had heart disease, she would have sent me Steve Carrell clutching his chest in the office. WTF? I don't want to see any more I Dare You to Repost This, Facebook Won't Let Me or dancing firemen! I stopped answering. You already told Roomba Riding Cockatiel Boy that you're not into it. Just...don't answer. At all. If he ever asks you why (he might not, this might literally be nothing to him), then tell him. Edited September 24, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl 2 1
Author Blondegirl89 Posted September 24, 2020 Author Posted September 24, 2020 I actually agree, something off here as well. I was swiping through Tinder as you do and he showed up again in my swipe list. I checked to see, maybe he might have un matched and nope he was still in my messages so he has two accounts. I’m starting to feel that this is All pretty bizarre now. I can’t imagine why someone would need 2 accounts. 1
Wiseman2 Posted September 24, 2020 Posted September 24, 2020 1 minute ago, Blondegirl89 said: I can’t imagine why someone would need 2 accounts. To send more unsuspecting victims of his nonsense gifs? 2 2
Author Blondegirl89 Posted September 24, 2020 Author Posted September 24, 2020 3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: To send more unsuspecting victims of his nonsense gifs? Probably. Lol The more I think of it the more I feel like I might just cancel coffee. he told me he’s a film producer I thought oh interesting, I asked if he had any short films I could watch on YouTube etc and he said I could see them next year at Cannes. It was a smartass response to my can I see some of your work.
MsJayne Posted September 24, 2020 Posted September 24, 2020 He sends GIFs and he has two date site accounts, why wait to find out any more? He clearly spends half his free time on the internet trawling for juvenile pictures to annoy women with and the other half trawling for more women to annoy with GIFs. Send him a GIF of a hand waving goodbye and then block him. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted September 24, 2020 Posted September 24, 2020 I think he doesn’t much care if this second date actually happens or not.
Alvi Posted September 24, 2020 Posted September 24, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, MsJayne said: Send him a GIF of a hand waving goodbye and then block him. This is hilarious!!! Yes, I think it would be wise to cancel your date with him. Edited September 24, 2020 by Alvi 1
poppyfields Posted September 24, 2020 Posted September 24, 2020 (edited) 8 hours ago, Blondegirl89 said: Anyway I know I’ve know right to be annoyed.. Sweetie, you have the right to be annoyed about anything you want. You don't need our or anyone's permission. I once became annoyed (and turned off) because my date, who was 6' in bare feet wore "lifts" on his shoes to make himself appear taller. Was becoming annoyed and turned off rational? Probably not, but who cares? They were my feelings and no one else's business. That was our last date. Edited September 24, 2020 by poppyfields
poppyfields Posted September 24, 2020 Posted September 24, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, MsJayne said: Send him a GIF of a hand waving goodbye and then block him. Oh good lordy, that made my day!! Edited September 24, 2020 by poppyfields
MsJayne Posted September 24, 2020 Posted September 24, 2020 3 minutes ago, poppyfields said: I once became annoyed (and turned off) because my date, who was 6' in bare feet wore "lifts" on his shoes to make himself appear taller. Who were you dating? Herman Munster? 2
poppyfields Posted September 24, 2020 Posted September 24, 2020 (edited) 3 minutes ago, MsJayne said: Who were you dating? Herman Munster? Lol, I know right? It was ridiculous, embarrassing AF too! Edited September 24, 2020 by poppyfields 1
Alvi Posted September 25, 2020 Posted September 25, 2020 (edited) 33 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Sweetie, you have the right to be annoyed about anything you want. You don't need our or anyone's permission. I once became annoyed (and turned off) because my date, who was 6' in bare feet wore "lifts" on his shoes to make himself appear taller. Was becoming annoyed and turned off rational? Probably not, but who cares? They were my feelings and no one else's business. That was our last date. I once dated a guy who would not wear pants. He would always wear shorts, not matter what the occasion was. Going to his work, going to see a movie, going to a restaurant or to a theatre with a strict dress code or going to a wedding - he would always wear shorts. No jeans either for him, lol. He had no problem wearing shirts or jackets but they had to go with shorts. He just did not like putting his pants on. Even in a very cold weather, he still would wear shorts. I invited him to come to my friend's wedding with me, but he refused to wear pants. I didn't take him and broke up with him over his refusal to wear pants. He was a nice guy otherwise but his quirk made me very uncomfortable. Let's just say I didn't want him to meet my family or friends because he wouldn't put his pants on. We did click great but this is not something I could overlook in my partner. Anything and everything can be a dealbreaker. Edited September 25, 2020 by Alvi 1
Trail Blazer Posted September 25, 2020 Posted September 25, 2020 GIFs are amazing. I use them all the time. Especially when I'm on Messenger and I CBF replying to someone, but I don't want it to seem as though I've completely ignored. This dude using GIFs could mean one of a few things. Most likely, though, it's because he CBF matching your level of communication at this point in time. I have to say, what is it with girls on here lamenting the fact that after one date, men aren't matching their level of enthusiasm? If guys were to come on here and complain every time a chick on a dating app didn't match their level of interest... well, yeah, I'd be a billionaire if I had a dollar for every time that could potentially be reported. This is a general comment and not necessarily directed at the OP; if you are attracted to men who get a lot of attention on dating apps, what makes you so special that a guy will pick you over the thousands of other options he has? I believe that way too many women have this delusion that all they need to do is go on one date with a guy, whilst probably having ignored hundreds or even thousands of other guys, and by just turning up, the rest will take care of itself. I experienced the same delusion and arrogance exhibited by many a woman. It was as though having gone on that one solitary date meant that progression to exclusivity was fait accompli. OP, the reality is that this guy isn't into you. He has other options which he's actively pursuing, as is his right as a single man. Why be pissed that he uses GIFs, or is looking for dates, after having only gone on one date with him? If you don't like what he's about, move on! He's not your boyfriend, he doesn't owe you anything. There's plenty more guys out there who are ready to be more attentive to you whilst sharing a more compatible communication style. Go and seek on of those guys and let this guy be. He's clearly not the one for you... 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted September 25, 2020 Posted September 25, 2020 13 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said: GIFs are amazing. I use them all the time. Especially when I'm on Messenger and I CBF replying to someone, but I don't want it to seem as though I've completely ignored. This dude using GIFs could mean one of a few things. Most likely, though, it's because he CBF matching your level of communication at this point in time. I have to say, what is it with girls on here lamenting the fact that after one date, men aren't matching their level of enthusiasm? If guys were to come on here and complain every time a chick on a dating app didn't match their level of interest... well, yeah, I'd be a billionaire if I had a dollar for every time that could potentially be reported. This is a general comment and not necessarily directed at the OP; if you are attracted to men who get a lot of attention on dating apps, what makes you so special that a guy will pick you over the thousands of other options he has? I believe that way too many women have this delusion that all they need to do is go on one date with a guy, whilst probably having ignored hundreds or even thousands of other guys, and by just turning up, the rest will take care of itself. I experienced the same delusion and arrogance exhibited by many a woman. It was as though having gone on that one solitary date meant that progression to exclusivity was fait accompli. OP, the reality is that this guy isn't into you. He has other options which he's actively pursuing, as is his right as a single man. Why be pissed that he uses GIFs, or is looking for dates, after having only gone on one date with him? If you don't like what he's about, move on! He's not your boyfriend, he doesn't owe you anything. There's plenty more guys out there who are ready to be more attentive to you whilst sharing a more compatible communication style. Go and seek on of those guys and let this guy be. He's clearly not the one for you... Guys do come on here complaining that the woman isn't interested.
Trail Blazer Posted September 25, 2020 Posted September 25, 2020 (edited) 17 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Guys do come on here complaining that the woman isn't interested. Not to the degree I've observed lately, where women feel entitled to a guy behaving like their boyfriend after one date. I don't think most guys feel entitled like women seem to. A lot of guys are resigned to the fact that they'll be unmatched even before the first date. That comes with the territory, I guess, where men do the chasing and women do the choosing. Both sexes have their own unique frustrations when it comes to OLD. From my perspective, I had a few dates where I wasn't feeling it, yet the women who I went on one or more dates, seemingly assumed that it was all just going to happen. It's as though they felt like they were so special that no other woman competing for my attention could possibly have trumped them. Edited September 25, 2020 by Trail Blazer
CaliforniaGirl Posted September 25, 2020 Posted September 25, 2020 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said: Not to the degree I've observed lately, where women feel entitled to a guy behaving like their boyfriend after one date. I don't think most guys feel entitled like women seem to. A lot of guys are resigned to the fact that they'll be unmatched even before the first date. That comes with the territory, I guess, where men do the chasing and women do the choosing. Both sexes have their own unique frustrations when it comes to OLD. From my perspective, I had a few dates where I wasn't feeling it, yet the women who I went on one or more dates, seemingly assumed that it was all just going to happen. It's as though they felt like they were so special that no other woman competing for my attention could possibly have trumped them. I mean...I agree with the lately part. But I'm sure we've all seen the solid runs on guys asking why "she never texts first" and everyone trying to advise the guy not to text so much, and so on. I don't think it's about entitlement. People want to be wanted by people they want. People who have that probably don't come to relationship forums asking how to fix things. Edited September 25, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl The, not this 2
Trail Blazer Posted September 25, 2020 Posted September 25, 2020 31 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: I mean...I agree with the lately part. But I'm sure we've all seen the solid runs on guys asking why "she never texts first" and everyone trying to advise the guy not to text so much, and so on. I don't think it's about entitlement. People want to be wanted by people they want. People who have that probably don't come to relationship forums asking how to fix things. Yes, that's true. I first came here over three years ago because my marriage was falling apart. It turned out to be a blessing.
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