Velvet teddy Posted September 26, 2020 Posted September 26, 2020 (edited) 13 hours ago, Watercolors said: I have lots of people's phone numbers in my cellphone, but that doesn't automatically connect me to their social media. Honestly Acacia stop making excuses for the OP. She chose to connect to life coach guy's WhatsApp *because* he gave her his phone number. And no, she was obsessively monitoring him on her social media as well as on his social media. After just one date! That's definitely obsessive and not normal behavior. And yes, its beating a dead horse to continue to discuss her actions despite her having moved on. But it is also relevant bc it illustrates how social media can interfere with the dating process as a whole. If she creates a thread about this second guy b/c his text messaging pattern changes, well, that's a whole other can of worms. The OP was probably wondering what happened to her date after giving her all the big talks. We could just as easily say he was obsessively checking out her stories and on instagram too. But instead of blaming the OP fully, perhaps see that the guy took a less than favourable approach in dealing with the situation. All he had to do was be straight up. Instead he sort of lead her on and then decided to ghost her...without any acknowledgement of the date he set up or her. ..which in turn lead to this forum and her questioning his actions or lack thereof. And one date or not, doesn't mean his actions should be condoned or her be criticised in trying to deal with what happened. Time is valuable and she still gave away however many hours of her life to go and see this man. Overall i think people should treat each other better on OLD plaforms, from the various threads I've seen on loveshack. Edited September 26, 2020 by Velvet teddy 1
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted September 26, 2020 Author Posted September 26, 2020 10 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Spill the tea! It was really nice and we are going to meet again tomorrow afternoon Yes we are texting each other lol, but it feels nice. 2
Trail Blazer Posted September 26, 2020 Posted September 26, 2020 22 hours ago, girlnextdoor2020 said: Lol no it wasn’t obvious from the beginning, because after date one he invited me for dinner! And said many times through text messages he was eager to see me again! It was obvious he was interested, quite the opposite. Then the sudden change of behaviour was weird and when I noticed something is off I came here to post this question. I don’t give a shyt if I am his first or 100th option. A gentleman do NOT treat someone like this, ‘forgetting‘ the date HE invited me for. A real gentleman treats all women (and all people) with respect, either he wants to continue seeing the person or not. And especially this guy who is a life coach he should know better. And it was the other way around, HE was checking my social media activity by checking my Instagram Stories, not me. I can see he was checking. And you know what, he still is today!!! And I didn’t add him to my Instagram. My IG is public and anyone can see what I post or my Stories. This guy was a plain idiot and I dodged a bullet. Yes looking forward to the date today with the other guy. I'm not going to argue with most of that. It's poor form for him to intimate that he'd like to see you again and even poorer form to "forget" to organize the date he'd invited you on. He was clearly not interested in taking things further and the decent thing to do would have been to politely message you and let you know of this. Unfortunately that is the dating world for the most part these days.
Trail Blazer Posted September 26, 2020 Posted September 26, 2020 10 hours ago, S2B said: No guy forgets when he is prioritizing a new woman he’s interested in. he is simply inadequate. No, he simply lost interest. 2
Trail Blazer Posted September 26, 2020 Posted September 26, 2020 2 hours ago, Velvet teddy said: The OP was probably wondering what happened to her date after giving her all the big talks. We could just as easily say he was obsessively checking out her stories and on instagram too. But instead of blaming the OP fully, perhaps see that the guy took a less than favourable approach in dealing with the situation. All he had to do was be straight up. Instead he sort of lead her on and then decided to ghost her...without any acknowledgement of the date he set up or her. ..which in turn lead to this forum and her questioning his actions or lack thereof. And one date or not, doesn't mean his actions should be condoned or her be criticised in trying to deal with what happened. Time is valuable and she still gave away however many hours of her life to go and see this man. Overall i think people should treat each other better on OLD plaforms, from the various threads I've seen on loveshack. This post is fair and reasonable for the most part. In terms of the emboldened, I don't think anyone condoned the actions (or lack thereof) from the guy. At the end of the day, we only have OP looking for advice, so we're addressing her side of things. If the other guy was here as well, I'd have as many criticisms to direct at him, if not more, compared to OP. Sometimes it can seem unfairly slanted towards criticism when the focus is on the person asking the question, and the areas they could have improved on, rather than the other person's complicity in the situation. 2
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