Guy stopped sending messages all of a sudden

[poppyfields]

6 minutes ago, Watercolors said:

*Buzzer sound* Wrong!!

If you are confused, YOU ASK FOR CONFIRMATION. I think the OP needs to grow up. She’s stalking his WhatsApp, claiming she’s actually better than him, secure, yet she’s jumping to all kinds of conclusions about his personality and character and his motivations b/c she’s too insecure to actually just ask him if they are still on for tonight’s dinner date. Sorry for my harshness but this is just ridiculous already. 

Stop acting like you’re in high school, OP. YOu’re an adult. You had one date with the guy. He asked you out for dinner tonight but you didn’t reconfirm with him and yet it’s his fault for not reading your mind. There’s nothing weird about him. He’s just a guy you went on one date with. Your lack of asking him direct questions about the second date isn’t his responsibility. It’s yours. 

Either text or call him to ask if he’s still on for dinner tonight with you. Or, just forget it and focus on the guy you have a date with on Friday. 

All this silliness b/c grown adults can’t talk on the phone with each other. 

Hmmm, yeah this^^.  Hard to admit to oneself, but WC is absolutely right!

WC, you sound like a no-nonsense kind of gal, who doesn't tolerate any sort of BS with a very secure attachment style.  

I strive to be more like you and I mean that sincerely!! 

Edited September 23, 2020 by poppyfields

[girlnextdoor2020]

7 minutes ago, Watercolors said:

*Buzzer sound* Wrong!!

If you are confused, YOU ASK FOR CONFIRMATION. I think the OP needs to grow up. She’s stalking his WhatsApp, claiming she’s actually better than him, secure, yet she’s jumping to all kinds of conclusions about his personality and character and his motivations b/c she’s too insecure to actually just ask him if they are still on for tonight’s dinner date. Sorry for my harshness but this is just ridiculous already. 

Stop acting like you’re in high school, OP. YOu’re an adult. You had one date with the guy. He asked you out for dinner tonight but you didn’t reconfirm with him and yet it’s his fault for not reading your mind. There’s nothing weird about him. He’s just a guy you went on one date with. Your lack of asking him direct questions about the second date isn’t his responsibility. It’s yours. 

Either text or call him to ask if he’s still on for dinner tonight with you. Or, just forget it and focus on the guy you have a date with on Friday. 

All this silliness b/c grown adults can’t talk on the phone with each other. 

I shouldn’t even be confused to start with...

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, girlnextdoor2020 said:

 I have been going there to exchange messages with another guy I am meeting on Friday..

Excellent. Enjoy the date. There was nothing set in stone with this other guy, so just forget him and focus on Friday guy.

[poppyfields]

Just a guess and it's something Trail Blazer mentioned earlier, but this game he's playing, may be the male version of a shyt test.

He testing to see how you respond to his bullshyt.

Women give their fair share of shyt tests too.  

Anyway, I'm inclined to believe he'd go for a woman like WC.  Strong, no nonsense, calls men on their bullshyt.

Some men actually need that and respond very well to it - to be called on their shyt.

It intrigues them, keeps them on their toes.  

But you gotta do you, be you.  

This is a non-starter.  Buh bye. Next.

Edited September 23, 2020 by poppyfields

[CaliforniaGirl]

15 minutes ago, girlnextdoor2020 said:

Like CaliforniaGirl said, if things were flowing between us, then yes I would definitely tell him that, to confirm the dinner date.

But I was feeling (and have been feeling) something weird about him (lost interest, playing games, whatever), so when my intuition is shouting out loud something’s off, I’m out.

I have a dinner date with another guy lined up for this Friday. He already set up the time and booked the table at the restaurant. That’s how things are done.

Oh, good! Have fun! Let us know how it goes.

[CaliforniaGirl]

9 minutes ago, girlnextdoor2020 said:

I shouldn’t even be confused to start with...

Well, this is the thing...sometimes, you can just feel when it's wrong. You don't really need concrete confirmation in that case. I mean it's just dating (and early dating at that). You can just move along. I've felt that. I believe in intuition. Dating isn't just a business transaction with exact rules. If it feels off...trust that. JMO!

Then again, you did wrap up with that. You've moved along and have a date so just have fun with that. Hope it goes well!

[ExpatInItaly]

I still he's either not interested, or totally forgot he mentioned going out tonight - which in of itself would signal disinterest. Next.

Have fun on your date with the other guy on Friday, OP. 

[astutise]

OP, a few years ago, I met a guy online and we chatted, set up a date and he too, on the day of the date..nothing. I did what WC has suggested above and simply asked, 'hey so what time tonight are we meeting?', no reply which i found rude so i didn't bother to go beyond that. I got myself a feast, chatted with some friends then watched a movie, after which he replied in the evening saying 'so sorry i fell asleep, so shall we figure something out?' and i replied 'its already figured out my end', delete, block.

There's lots of uselessness and offish behaviour.. dating game is a bit of a minefield. 

Edited September 23, 2020 by astutise

[astutise]

7 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

I still he's either not interested, or totally forgot he mentioned going out tonight - which in of itself would signal disinterest. Next.

Have fun on your date with the other guy on Friday, OP. 

so why even say hi on the day of the date. its all just pointless and little breadcrumbs, why? A simple abrupt silence if he can't be bothered to communicate is more respectful then this nonsense IMO.

Edited September 23, 2020 by astutise

[ExpatInItaly]

Just now, astutise said:

so why even say hi on the day of the date. its all just pointless and little breadcrumbs, why? 

What I meant is that he might have forgotten that he had asked her out for today altogether. Maybe he's got a few ladies he's talking to and can't keep track of which one he asked out for which day. 

But as I said, even if he's blanked on the actual day he'd indicated - he's not that interested. 

 

[poppyfields]

13 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

I still he's either not interested, or totally forgot he mentioned going out tonight - which in of itself would signal disinterest. Next.

Have fun on your date with the other guy on Friday, OP. 

The thing about losing interest, wouldn't he have cancelled the date? 

I find it hard to believe a man invites you out, confirms the day prior (or two days prior which he did) but then the day of the date he forgets he made the date?  

Something's not quite jiving about that.  

Edited September 23, 2020 by poppyfields

[astutise]

1 minute ago, ExpatInItaly said:

What I meant is that he might have forgotten that he had asked her out for today altogether. Maybe he's got a few ladies he's talking to and can't keep track of which one he asked out for which day. 

But as I said, even if he's blanked on the actual day he'd indicated - he's not that interested. 

 

so either way, why message in the morning to say hi? it serves no purpose whatsoever in this context. i get the impression people who do bizarre, illogical things like this are insecure/bored and want people on a little list, to hand - to message when they need some human interaction/ego boost. 

 

[ExpatInItaly]

1 minute ago, astutise said:

so either way, why message in the morning to say hi? it serves no purpose whatsoever in this context. i get the impression people who do bizarre, illogical things like this are insecure/bored and want people on a little list, to hand - to message when they need some human interaction/ego boost. 

 

That is the answer to your question. 

[poppyfields]

1 minute ago, astutise said:

so either way, why message in the morning to say hi? it serves no purpose whatsoever in this context. i get the impression people who do bizarre, illogical things like this are insecure/bored and want people on a little list, to hand - to message when they need some human interaction/ego boost. 

 

He confirmed the date on Monday as well.

He didn't forget, he knows what he's doing.  

Game player, I'm convinced of it.

[stillafool]

Well it's clear this guy isn't interested or he'd follow up with his plans or at least formally cancel them instead of ignoring you.   Perhaps this is a blessing in disguise so now you have more time to rest and get ready for your date with the new guy on Friday.  I hope you've put this guy in your rear view mirror by now.

[ExpatInItaly]

8 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

The thing about losing interest, wouldn't he have cancelled the date? 

One would hope, but we've seen time and again how many people will just fizzle out and hope the other person catches on. 

I am not saying he did necessarily forget who he's lined up dates with; nobody knows why he's not as enthused to keep in contact right now. Bottom line? He's not that bothered about OP, which she seems to have realized and has mentally next'ed him. 

Edited September 23, 2020 by ExpatInItaly

[CaliforniaGirl]

15 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

The thing about losing interest, wouldn't he have cancelled the date? 

I find it hard to believe a man invites you out, confirms the day prior (or two days prior which he did) but then the day of the date he forgets he made the date?  

Something's not quite jiving about that.  

Have you ever read this forum? 

[CaliforniaGirl]

11 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Well it's clear this guy isn't interested or he'd follow up with his plans or at least formally cancel them instead of ignoring you.   Perhaps this is a blessing in disguise so now you have more time to rest and get ready for your date with the new guy on Friday.  I hope you've put this guy in your rear view mirror by now.

Fo sho.

[girlnextdoor2020]

16 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

One would hope, but we've seen time and again how many people will just fizzle out and hope the other person catches on. 

I am not saying he did necessarily forget who he's lined up dates with; nobody knows why he's not as enthused to keep in contact right now. Bottom line? He's not that bothered about OP, which she seems to have realized and has mentally next'ed him. 

So guys I decided to text him saying I thought we had a dinner date today and don’t understand what happened as he hasn’t been in touch the whole day. If he is not interested anymore that’s fine, but it would be nice to cancel.

His response: OMG I’m so sorry I forgot today is Wednesday! I’ve been in meetings all day busy with work and I forgot. My apologies.

I responded that if his life is so busy then do not ask people out and forget them because that is rude beyond measure. That also shows his level of interest, so I wish him well. Then I deleted him.

I’m glad I decided to do a last contact and see how he really is. He lost interest. If the ‘forgetting’ was really true he would ask to reschedule. 

Next.

[ccas93]

It's all good guys, we're all just adults here sharing our opinions that come from our life experiences. 

14 minutes ago, girlnextdoor2020 said:

So guys I decided to text him saying I thought we had a dinner date today and don’t understand what happened as he hasn’t been in touch the whole day. If he is not interested anymore that’s fine, but it would be nice to cancel.

His response: OMG I’m so sorry I forgot today is Wednesday! I’ve been in meetings all day busy with work and I forgot. My apologies.

I responded that if his life is so busy then do not ask people out and forget them because that is rude beyond measure. That also shows his level of interest, so I wish him well. Then I deleted him.

I’m glad I decided to do a last contact and see how he really is. He lost interest. If the ‘forgetting’ was really true he would ask to reschedule. 

Next.

Excellent. Never ignore your spideysenses. Giving people the benefit of the doubt all the time can turn you into a doormat. All the best for Friday. 

Edited September 23, 2020 by ccas93

[CaliforniaGirl]

5 minutes ago, girlnextdoor2020 said:

So guys I decided to text him saying I thought we had a dinner date today and don’t understand what happened as he hasn’t been in touch the whole day. If he is not interested anymore that’s fine, but it would be nice to cancel.

His response: OMG I’m so sorry I forgot today is Wednesday! I’ve been in meetings all day busy with work and I forgot. My apologies.

I responded that if his life is so busy then do not ask people out and forget them because that is rude beyond measure. That also shows his level of interest, so I wish him well. Then I deleted him.

I’m glad I decided to do a last contact and see how he really is. He lost interest. If the ‘forgetting’ was really true he would ask to reschedule. 

Next.

He did not forget today is Wednesday, LOL. Oh well...anyway, you wanted to tell him what you thought and you did so now you can really move along and I hope your date Friday is really fun! Wear something cute. Have a blast!

[Watercolors]

55 minutes ago, girlnextdoor2020 said:

Why didn’t HE call me on the phone to reconfirm the dinner date and decide a time, etc, if he was the one inviting me!?

Now it’s up to me to chase a guy who haven’t even read my message I sent him earlier today on the day we were supposed to meet?

Sorry that is just all ridiculous. 

Because you are an adult, girl Nextdoor. If you want to know if the date is still on, you call him! This isn’t the 1800s. It’s not chasing him. Who told you that? Mademoiselle Magazine article about online dating? A feminist dating blog? If you want an answer, you have to ask the question. Pride cometh before the fall. Meanwhile, you’ve built up all this stress and trauma around him not reconfirming b/c he invited you. Just call and ask him. That doens’t mean you’re weak or chasing him if you do that. It means, you just want to know what is going on with him. Meanwhile, trying to Sherlock Holmes his WhatsApp behavior isn’t doing you any good. And, you had one date. What do you care if he thinks you’re weird for calling him to ask him if tonight’s dinner date is still on. YOu just want to know. YOu’ll never know if you don’t ask. 

You have the initiative to set up a date with another guy for Friday, you certainly are capable of calling this guy today to confirm tonight’s dinner date. The fact that you won’t, shows you are playing games, or I don’t know why you won’t just do that. It would solve all the mystery you’ve created in your mind about why this guy’s texting behavior suddenly changed from your perspective. 

Whenever I read threads like this, I just shake my head. People will go to the extreme to create drama around a person they are texting, instead of just calling that person up to ask them what they want. 

 

[girlnextdoor2020]

4 minutes ago, Watercolors said:

Because you are an adult, girl Nextdoor. If you want to know if the date is still on, you call him! This isn’t the 1800s. It’s not chasing him. Who told you that? Mademoiselle Magazine article about online dating? A feminist dating blog? If you want an answer, you have to ask the question. Pride cometh before the fall. Meanwhile, you’ve built up all this stress and trauma around him not reconfirming b/c he invited you. Just call and ask him. That doens’t mean you’re weak or chasing him if you do that. It means, you just want to know what is going on with him. Meanwhile, trying to Sherlock Holmes his WhatsApp behavior isn’t doing you any good. And, you had one date. What do you care if he thinks you’re weird for calling him to ask him if tonight’s dinner date is still on. YOu just want to know. YOu’ll never know if you don’t ask. 

You have the initiative to set up a date with another guy for Friday, you certainly are capable of calling this guy today to confirm tonight’s dinner date. The fact that you won’t, shows you are playing games, or I don’t know why you won’t just do that. It would solve all the mystery you’ve created in your mind about why this guy’s texting behavior suddenly changed from your perspective. 

Whenever I read threads like this, I just shake my head. People will go to the extreme to create drama around a person they are texting, instead of just calling that person up to ask them what they want. 

 

Just read my previous question. I did end up asking him what’s going on.

[Watercolors]

8 minutes ago, girlnextdoor2020 said:

So guys I decided to text him saying I thought we had a dinner date today and don’t understand what happened as he hasn’t been in touch the whole day. If he is not interested anymore that’s fine, but it would be nice to cancel.

His response: OMG I’m so sorry I forgot today is Wednesday! I’ve been in meetings all day busy with work and I forgot. My apologies.

I responded that if his life is so busy then do not ask people out and forget them because that is rude beyond measure. That also shows his level of interest, so I wish him well. Then I deleted him.

I’m glad I decided to do a last contact and see how he really is. He lost interest. If the ‘forgetting’ was really true he would ask to reschedule. 

Next.

Oh, so I was ridiculous in my previous response telling you to contact him?! But look what that accomplished. IT solved the mystery. He forgot. You built up this huge drama around why he wouldn’t reconfirm and meanwhile the truth was, he forgot. 

But then you push him away but sending that passive aggressive statement b/c you’re annoyed with yourself more than you are with him. Honestly, I think you create more problems for yourself than these guys do. You immediately jump to conclusions and make assumptions about the guy’s true intentions, even after he gives you an answer that you don’t like. 

What if he really did forget? What if he has a ton going on in his life? You won’t know that, because you cut off your nose to spite your face jumping to yet another conclusion. 

Please calm down from now on, and stop jumping to conclusions. You’ll never get anywhere with this online dating if you keep doing that. Instead of texting all the time, just call the guy on the phone. Leave a voicemail. Wait for him to return your call. Pretty simple. 

[girlnextdoor2020]

5 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

He did not forget today is Wednesday, LOL. Oh well...anyway, you wanted to tell him what you thought and you did so now you can really move along and I hope your date Friday is really fun! Wear something cute. Have a blast!

Thank you!