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I really liked him except for this one superficial thing. How do I get past it?

caputo77

By caputo77
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La.Primavera Established Member

La.Primavera

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Even though he doesn't have the perfect voice, it sounds like there still might be some potential there.  Who knows, there could be an undeniable chemistry in person.  The right combination of pheromones and there is no stopping it.

If it is hard to find a guy who shares the same religion and values then I wouldn't rule it out until you see him in the flesh.

My only advice would be not to let him pick up the whole bill, especially if you're not feeling it.

Good luck!

Sunnyzwei1989 Member

Sunnyzwei1989

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I have a deeper voice for a woman and I know some guys have been turned off by it.  It used to bother me but we all have preferences so now it doesn’t.  Go on one date and if it still bothers you then move on.

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Lotsgoingon Established Member

Lotsgoingon

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OP,

Voice is extremely important.  In once attended a trauma conference, at which one of the presenters mentioned the most important quality in a therapist that helps people heal. You know what that quality was? Their voice. The client really needs to like and appreciate the voice of the therapist, this guy said or else the relationship won't be all that good.

Voice is not petty at all. We definitely attach to people's voices. I mean in dating you are going to be listening to this person for hours and hours, sometimes days and days. You had better like their voice.

Don't force this. You can go out. But if you come home and the question pops in your head again "Can I deal with his voice" then stop things. The test is does this problem go away in your head. You really can't think this away! Sorry, this is sorta like physical attraction. Either you're into the person or you're not. There is not a lot of room for growth over time. 

 

 

 

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salparadise Established Member

salparadise

Posted
Posted (edited)

I agree with @Lotsgoingon. Voice is as important as any other aspect of attraction. My guess is that you won't be able to overlook it. If you need to be certain and feel that it might be too soon to judge then go on a date. If it's still an issue afterward, you'll know you tried.

I also believe voice is more important than most realize. I don't have narrow specifications, but if it pops out as noticeable and negative I would not feel bad about considering it. I had it happen once, but the voice wasn't the only factor. On the other side of the coin, I definitely remember how attractive the a great voice can be (combined with being well spoken and knowing how to use it). Ultimately you have to make the decision, but I don't think it's going to work. Poor guy...

Edited by salparadise
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