mortensorchid Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 I was chatting with this guy on Hinge last week. We were to meet up on Saturday night but I called it off. I was in a car accident and was pretty jarred from it. He said that was understandable. I got back with him yesterday (Monday) and said I'd like to cash in that rain check. He said okay, but... there's this one thing. What's that one thing? He is moving to another city in another state next weekend. I said "Oh..." He said I seemed like a really great woman and he doesn't want to waste my time. He should have said this in the beginning. This is clearly a lost cause. What did he expect? That we'd meet, fall in love and be in love? Should I even bother? What's the point? 1
basil67 Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 Glad you're OK after the accident....and totally understandable that you're postpone, and good for you in reinitiating the date. Sorry it didn't work out, but you did all the right things. 1
mark clemson Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 No, don't bother. It's a waste of your time IMO since he'll be gone in a week.
kismetkismet Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 It sounds like he was just looking for a couple of casual dates and/or sex rather than dating seriously. Pretty annoying if that's not what you're after. If you're strictly looking for a relationship I wouldn't bother. Even if you were looking for casual dating there's not much point, basically the only reason to go would be if you want to hook up. 1
Ami1uwant Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 Another city in another state could be just Erie, pa.
alphamale Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 33 minutes ago, mortensorchid said: What did he expect? no-strings-attached sexual activity 5
Ami1uwant Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 Did you initiate? If so thrn he might have said wtf
Versacehottie Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 Also glad you are ok! why are you looking at the bad side of this though? Right away you look at it negatively. It's in your tone and the way you filter the information from him and in your outlook. You got a guy who was honest to you and respectful of your time, also who didn't ghost you after your excuse for canceling (good or not, people don't know what is the truth). I think you need practice dating and no one better to do that on than a guy who is moving away. You could meet the love of your life; you don't know. The pressure, therefore the fun, should be lower since there are few expectations. Change your outlook, girl. 1 1
Trail Blazer Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 He wanted to get his ends wet before he moved to a new state. Only bother if casual sex is what you're after.
poppyfields Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, mortensorchid said: He is moving to another city in another state next weekend. I said "Oh..." He said I seemed like a really great woman and he doesn't want to waste my time. Well you had a date planned for last Saturday which I assume would have happened if not for your accident, but now suddenly he doesn't want to "waste your time"? Something's not jiving, sounds like an excuse. He may have met someone else between last Saturday and Monday. I'm only guessing but maybe he decided to meet up with another woman on Saturday and they clicked. Who knows but again something sounds off about it, jmo. Edited September 15, 2020 by poppyfields 1
Watercolors Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 1 hour ago, mortensorchid said: I was chatting with this guy on Hinge last week. We were to meet up on Saturday night but I called it off. I was in a car accident and was pretty jarred from it. He said that was understandable. I got back with him yesterday (Monday) and said I'd like to cash in that rain check. He said okay, but... there's this one thing. What's that one thing? He is moving to another city in another state next weekend. I said "Oh..." He said I seemed like a really great woman and he doesn't want to waste my time. He should have said this in the beginning. This is clearly a lost cause. What did he expect? That we'd meet, fall in love and be in love? Should I even bother? What's the point? When you two were chatting on Hinge, he failed to mention to you, "Oh, by the way I'm moving out of state." How sleazy of him. He was looking for a ONS or FWB situation before he left town. No, please don't bother meeting up with him unless you are desperate to get laid for one night.
Weezy1973 Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 1 hour ago, mortensorchid said: What did he expect? Really? You have to ask? 1
Datingdisabled Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 1 hour ago, mortensorchid said: I was chatting with this guy on Hinge last week. We were to meet up on Saturday night but I called it off. I was in a car accident and was pretty jarred from it. He said that was understandable. I got back with him yesterday (Monday) and said I'd like to cash in that rain check. He said okay, but... there's this one thing. What's that one thing? He is moving to another city in another state next weekend. I said "Oh..." He said I seemed like a really great woman and he doesn't want to waste my time. He should have said this in the beginning. This is clearly a lost cause. What did he expect? That we'd meet, fall in love and be in love? Should I even bother? What's the point? There is no point. Roots have to be strong in a relationship to survive the distance.
basil67 Posted September 16, 2020 Posted September 16, 2020 And long distance is a fool's errand at the best of times. 2
Author mortensorchid Posted September 16, 2020 Author Posted September 16, 2020 He said to me he wasn't looking for sex even though it seems as if he was. That may be the case but I am not going to follow up. Negative? You bet I am. I reached out in the hopes of something and he tells me he's moving to another state? That's just strange. Even if he did as another suggested (met someone else) I would expect that he would just tell me that rather than this.
Trail Blazer Posted September 16, 2020 Posted September 16, 2020 51 minutes ago, mortensorchid said: He said to me he wasn't looking for sex even though it seems as if he was. That may be the case but I am not going to follow up. Negative? You bet I am. I reached out in the hopes of something and he tells me he's moving to another state? That's just strange. Even if he did as another suggested (met someone else) I would expect that he would just tell me that rather than this. Oh well. Just move on then. You'll be right. I'm sure you have plenty of other matches as we speak.
Dork Vader Posted September 16, 2020 Posted September 16, 2020 5 hours ago, mortensorchid said: I was chatting with this guy on Hinge last week. We were to meet up on Saturday night but I called it off. I was in a car accident and was pretty jarred from it. He said that was understandable. I got back with him yesterday (Monday) and said I'd like to cash in that rain check. He said okay, but... there's this one thing. What's that one thing? He is moving to another city in another state next weekend. I said "Oh..." He said I seemed like a really great woman and he doesn't want to waste my time. He should have said this in the beginning. This is clearly a lost cause. What did he expect? That we'd meet, fall in love and be in love? Should I even bother? What's the point? He was probably hoping for a fling or perhaps just friendship, but more than likely a fling.
CaliforniaGirl Posted September 16, 2020 Posted September 16, 2020 My guess is he's not moving at all. Something cooled him off to the point of wanting to put all this in his rearview mirror, fast. I don't know what. Another woman, or he thought the car accident was a story, or something completely else. 2 1 1
Azincourt Posted September 16, 2020 Posted September 16, 2020 (edited) 11 hours ago, mortensorchid said: I was chatting with this guy on Hinge last week. We were to meet up on Saturday night but I called it off. I was in a car accident and was pretty jarred from it. He said that was understandable. I got back with him yesterday (Monday) and said I'd like to cash in that rain check. He said okay, but... there's this one thing. What's that one thing? He is moving to another city in another state next weekend. I said "Oh..." He said I seemed like a really great woman and he doesn't want to waste my time. He should have said this in the beginning. This is clearly a lost cause. What did he expect? That we'd meet, fall in love and be in love? Should I even bother? What's the point? We're glad to know you're doing well after the car crash, that's what matters in the middle of all of this. Guy is probably looking for a quick hook-up before he leaves the city and moves to another state. Honestly, if I was you I wouldn't be going on dates in the middle of a health world crisis because remaining alive and healthy is far more important than finding a boyfriend. At least to me it is Quote My guess is he's not moving at all. Something cooled him off to the point of wanting to put all this in his rearview mirror, fast. I don't know what. Another woman, or he thought the car accident was a story, or something completely else. Possibly. Maybe the guy figured out she's looking for a relationship, and he felt like it would be too much of a hassle trying to seduce her, or it could be that something more concrete showed up, and he feels like he has more of a chance of having sex with that woman. Or maybe he's married and his wife works aboard and she recently arrived and he had to cancel his date with OP. Edited September 16, 2020 by Azincourt
introverted1 Posted September 16, 2020 Posted September 16, 2020 @mortensorchid How far away is he moving? Is there a possibility you could still date, albeit with a long-ish drive involved, after the move? If so, maybe he was just giving you a heads up to that. 1
poppyfields Posted September 16, 2020 Posted September 16, 2020 (edited) 25 minutes ago, introverted1 said: @mortensorchid How far away is he moving? Is there a possibility you could still date, albeit with a long-ish drive involved, after the move? If so, maybe he was just giving you a heads up to that. I might believe that's a possibility had he not said this: "He said I seemed like a really great woman and he doesn't want to waste my time." Translation: He doesn't want to waste his time. Agree with CAgirl, he's not moving which is why he never mentioned it (till now). He may have met someone else (or changed his mind) but thought it easier to give you this story about him moving. Just my sense, I could be wrong but again something sounds very off and simply is not jiving. Edited September 16, 2020 by poppyfields
kendahke Posted September 16, 2020 Posted September 16, 2020 13 hours ago, mortensorchid said: Negative? You bet I am. I reached out in the hopes of something and he tells me he's moving to another state? The energy you put out will attract the same energy back. Quit being so negative and perhaps you'll find something/someone more positive. You reached out in the hopes of being disappointed so that you could once again be right--well, you got what you were after. 1
Azincourt Posted September 16, 2020 Posted September 16, 2020 You won't get far in the dating world if your every knee-jerk reaction is to assume the guy's a douchebag. Guy puts in the time and the effort to warn you that he will move away to another state. He could've said nothing about it. He could've tried to seduce you. He didn't try. He never lied to you. He told you he was moving away giving you the space and the time for you to figure out what you wanted. You're not interested in a long-distance relationship, and that's fine. Nothing wrong with that. Don't go on assuming the guy's married just because he couldn't make it to the date, or should a guy assume there's something wrong about you for being single at the age of 50 whereabouts near that number? Sometimes things just don't work out. If dating is such a hassle, then maybe consider stepping away from the dating world for a fair while, which would be smart considering covid-19 and the fact that more than 200,000 americans have died of the virus plus the 5 millions infected and the dozens and dozens of millions who've lost their jobs and aren't in the best state of mind to be out there dating. 2 1
Datingdisabled Posted September 16, 2020 Posted September 16, 2020 15 hours ago, mortensorchid said: He said to me he wasn't looking for sex even though it seems as if he was. That may be the case but I am not going to follow up. Negative? You bet I am. I reached out in the hopes of something and he tells me he's moving to another state? That's just strange. Even if he did as another suggested (met someone else) I would expect that he would just tell me that rather than this. It doesn't really matter why someone ends it with you, as long as they did end it and you weren't in a situation that you were strung along or left on read. In my experience, you wish someone well and then walk away from rejection. No good ever came from trying to negotiate with a dumper or someone who rejected you. Accept it, wish them well, and keep your distance.
Azincourt Posted September 16, 2020 Posted September 16, 2020 17 hours ago, basil67 said: And long distance is a fool's errand at the best of times. Not really. My great-grandafther took active duty during world War II. He kept in touch with his future wife via letters, and they managed to keep talking despite the war. The war ends, great-grandma contracts the Spanish Flu in 1918. They can't be together because you know.. er, but he didn't let that put a dent on their relationship. He wrote letters to her sister and got letters back about the state of great-grandma's health. She recovered, they got married yadaydaya happy ever after. I've also had good long-distance relationships myself, but they didn't work out because we had different goals in life.
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