Letschill Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 My close female friends have men who cheat. And have crushes on guys who sleep around. They get upset for like 2 days then they go back to sleeping with them like nothing ever happened. Do they like men who cheat? 1
Woggle Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 Any women with self respect does. If I ever cheated on my wife she would divorce me in a heartbeat. 5
d0nnivain Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 Some women have no self esteem. They "don't care". Any woman worth a darn will say adios the minute she finds out about the cheating. 1
basil67 Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 Apparently YOUR friends like men who cheat. But I wouldn't say this is the norm for women in general. I think a better question is "Does letschill make bad choices in friends?" 4
Ruby Slippers Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 It's one of my strictest deal breakers. When I get serious with a man and we start talking about must haves and must not haves, I let him know that if it ever happens, I'm gone.
Ami1uwant Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 3 hours ago, Letschill said: My close female friends have men who cheat. And have crushes on guys who sleep around. They get upset for like 2 days then they go back to sleeping with them like nothing ever happened. Do they like men who cheat? they don’t want yo lose their meal ticket ot lottery ticket
CaliforniaGirl Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 Wow. I know NOBODY who would be okay with this. 1
Dork Vader Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 6 hours ago, Letschill said: My close female friends have men who cheat. And have crushes on guys who sleep around. They get upset for like 2 days then they go back to sleeping with them like nothing ever happened. Do they like men who cheat? It's not really cut and dry like you make it out to be. Some people are okay being in open relationships or they themselves cheat and don't view it as a deal breaker. For others it's an instant deal breaker. I've gone on dates with women who had wildly different opinions on what loyalty and exclusivity is. I have also seen people stay in bad relationships for other reasons. One of my friends came from a fairly wealthy real estate family and he made a very good living in real estate. He was constantly cheating on his wife. She put up with it for years before she finally got burnt out on it. Granted I think she stuck around for monetary reasons, longer marriage = more alimony and what not. I have a friend who is married to a woman who has a mental illness. When she goes into mania, she typically ends up cheating on him. But my friend loves her and some how can forgive her when that kind of thing happens. They some how make it work. I have other friends who stay in bad relationships because they are naive.
schlumpy Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 15 hours ago, Letschill said: My close female friends have men who cheat. And have crushes on guys who sleep around. They get upset for like 2 days then they go back to sleeping with them like nothing ever happened. Do they like men who cheat? What age range are we talking about?
elaine567 Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 10 hours ago, Dork Vader said: I have a friend who is married to a woman who has a mental illness. When she goes into mania, she typically ends up cheating on him. But my friend loves her and some how can forgive her when that kind of thing happens. They some how make it work. Because in mania she may not be fully aware of what she is doing or may not be in control of her own actions. She is not cheating as she wants to cheat, she cheats because she is mentally ill. 1
smackie9 Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 Obviously these guys are womanizers...to the weak, there are a challenge...what drives your female friends is dopamine. That's why certain women stay in abusive relationships too...it's the chase to tame the beast. When the guy gives them attention, they feel must be very special. It's dumb but that's how some of these women's brains work. A fight to be queen.
Datingdisabled Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 If a women cares about the man then yes but I have been in relationships with men and I didn't care. If I was sleeping with a man then I know for a fact they wouldn't cheat. I have 37 years of track records to proove that. One time, in one relationship, in my 20's, the relationship was solid for 8 months. We were drifting apart and towards the end, he met someone else and I found out and I didn't care and I broke up with him. He called me days and days and left voice messages for days and I didn't care. I wasn't into him anymore and it didn't affect me. I wouldn't take dating advice serious on this forum. I know you think you know it all but no one I know even knows this forum exists. Who comes on here? I'm pathetic enough to be here right now and admit it.
central Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 Quote In a 1991 study, sex researcher Shere Hite found that 70 percent of married women have cheated on their partners; a 1993 follow-up study found that 72 percent of married men have as well. The percentages are probably higher today due to technology and opportunity, and other studies confirm this. Cheating is normal human behavior, much as we find it distasteful and (usually) harmful. Of course you can always divorce a cheater, but odds are your next partner will do so also. They may not at first - monogamy often works for a couple of years, and then sexual boredom sets in. If things are good other than cheating, I can see why some people will overlook it rather than suffer all the upheaval (emotional, financial, etc.) of divorce and the likelihood that your next partner may be no better in this regard. Given these percentages, it may often be that the "cheatee" has also cheated. I have to wonder if most of the divorces that occur due to cheating are among the 30% that haven't.
Fletch Lives Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 18 hours ago, d0nnivain said: Some women have no self esteem. They "don't care". Any woman worth a darn will say adios the minute she finds out about the cheating. Basically, the women who stay with cheaters love them so they are hooked - and they don't have high standards. But many women (and men) have high standards and won't stand for it. 1
mark clemson Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 Yes, different people react differently and some are much more strongly impacted than others. There is a surprising amount of variance among people generally - this is just another parameter. I think VERY FEW people genuinely don't care at all though, particularly if it's a betrayal vs an open marriage, but there are probably even a few folks like that out there.
Azincourt Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 (edited) 18 hours ago, Letschill said: My close female friends have men who cheat. And have crushes on guys who sleep around. They get upset for like 2 days then they go back to sleeping with them like nothing ever happened. Do they like men who cheat? Women care. If they didn't, Jeff Bezos wouldn't have lost 60 billions when his wife divorced him. Most women aren't polygamous, so they're not gonna be happy when they find out their current boyfriend is sleeping with other women. Your close female friends either lack self-esteem, or they feel like they won't be able to get another guy either because they feel like they're unattractive, or the guy's pretty hot, and these women with these boyfriends are young and aren't looking for anything serious. Quote The percentages are probably higher today due to technology and opportunity, and other studies confirm this. Cheating is normal human behavior, much as we find it distasteful and (usually) harmful. Of course you can always divorce a cheater, but odds are your next partner will do so also. They may not at first - monogamy often works for a couple of years, and then sexual boredom sets in. If things are good other than cheating, I can see why some people will overlook it rather than suffer all the upheaval (emotional, financial, etc.) of divorce and the likelihood that your next partner may be no better in this regard. Given these percentages, it may often be that the "cheatee" has also cheated. I have to wonder if most of the divorces that occur due to cheating are among the 30% that haven't. Monogamy ain't al that natural to the human species. We've tried to curb our desires and tendencies to sleep with other people whom we find to be attractive, while being in a relationship or married, via the creation of marriage, religion, and societal shaming and stigma to make it hard and punishable for a man or a woman to cheat, but mostly it's women who get the hardest sentences when they cheat e.g look at Iran or Saudi Arabia and look at what happens to women who ''cheat''. Over here in the western world, rent and a house's mortggage are both expensive, with many people ending up married or living with a boyfriend because it's impossible for many people to live on their own, so people end up dating and marrying people they aren't really attracted to, but these folks have money/have a house/have a good job, and people wanna leave their parents home, which prompts them to get tied up with people they wouldn't touch if they didn't have the $$$ €€€ ££ they have. Edited September 15, 2020 by Azincourt
Emilie Jolie Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 18 hours ago, Letschill said: My close female friends have men who cheat. And have crushes on guys who sleep around. They get upset for like 2 days then they go back to sleeping with them like nothing ever happened. Do they like men who cheat? How many close female friends do you know, who are unbothered by men who sleep around, to the point you think it's a trend? Also, are these women actually in committed relationships, or are they in those modern 'open dating relationships' where you sleep with whoever you want as long as you haven't had 'the chat'? Besides, for some, cheating (as opposed to, say, an affair) isn't necessarily a dealbreaker - people have different preferences, it doesn't always follow that it's a self-respect issue. Basically, letschill, more context is needed! (not keen on cheating myself, if that makes a difference). 1
Dork Vader Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 7 hours ago, elaine567 said: Because in mania she may not be fully aware of what she is doing or may not be in control of her own actions. She is not cheating as she wants to cheat, she cheats because she is mentally ill. Yup, I don't judge him or her over it. I actually think it's kind of amazing that he can handle that and understands it. I dated a bi-polar woman and I could handle most of it. Her mania was not extreme though and well managed. Typically just exchange numbers with some other guys at worst. 1
Trail Blazer Posted September 15, 2020 Posted September 15, 2020 I couldn't imagine one single woman on this planet who couldn't care about being cheated on.
mortensorchid Posted September 16, 2020 Posted September 16, 2020 I have seen and heard of a few people in open relationships. And they don't work. Because one always gets jealous of the other, or one thinks they can play around while the other has to be faithful. I know of one couple who has been together for years and they say they give each other weekend passes and even joined a swinger club to avoid boredom. Is there such a thing as a woman who doesn't care if her man cheats? Yes, there is - a woman who doesn't know as ignorance is bliss.
snowboy91 Posted September 16, 2020 Posted September 16, 2020 I think the issue is that in some social circles, guys who cheat are so common that it's considered "normal" behaviour and as such the women think it's "acceptable" despite what they really feel. Of course there is a chance the relationship is genuinely "open" but in those cases I wouldn't call it cheating.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 16, 2020 Posted September 16, 2020 OP, to be fair, unless you're having conversations with these women about their feelings after having learned their partner has cheated, you have no clue if they're unbothered by it. There is a difference between genuinely not caring, and trying to suppress the pain of betrayal and look the other way because they're in denial. The latter isn't healthy, but it happens. Men sometimes do this, too. Such people don't want to believe their partners could cheat, so they try to minimize, ignore, or otherwise justify it away. It generally stems from a place of low self-worth. So, they keep up the facade (to themselves and everyone else) that it was just a "bump," a big mistake, and all is well now. But speaking to friends who have been cheated on and stayed away? They're far from not caring. They just hadn't yet been ready to face the truth of their crappy partners and dead relationships.
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