Shane_88 Posted September 13, 2020 Posted September 13, 2020 This is happening at work - I've seen her looking at me when i'm not looking but as soon as i go to look back she quickly turns her head away. She pretty much blanks and ignores me, she will walk past and not even look and never says hi or morning... it always feels like ive done something wrong, but it seems like its done deliberately. It feels like she absolutely hates me! And ive never done anything to her! Sometimes we lock eyes and have long deep eye contact. She never says morning first, but when I say morning and smile she smirks like she's trying not to smile and looks down like she's trying to hide her face. And she gives me even more attitude if she sees me talking to another woman. she randomly approached me and started saying how much she liked my new car, and then asked "will you let me sit in it?" i said maybe and she looked away and started smiling and looked excited. Anyway Thursday i was chatting to another woman who is polish in view of the woman in question and i think she saw, i go back to my machine and literally 15 mins later polish woman walks past and we start another conversation, then guess who walks past! Shes walking to the toilet and see's us talking for the second time in quick succession, but instead of pretending that I don't exist like she normally does she walks a certain way so she walks directly face on to me and in my eye line and looks right at me. My machine is by the toilets so i wait for her to come out at the end of my machine, i said hi and she replied with hi back turned her head away really fast with attitude, to try and keep her there i asked how her day was going she stopped walking turned around came back and she replied "fine! why do you always wear a baseball cap?" it was a really random out of place question but i said "i just do". I'm losing my hair and found myself wearing caps to deal with it as its a bit of an insecure thing for me. But i think shes cottoned on to this and used it against me cause she was jealous of this other woman. But i changed the subject and said if she wanted to sit in my car, she could, she laughed and said "maybe one day" and walked off! now shes back ignoring me. but now shes telling people i invited her into my car, and i think their having a bit of a giggle about it Its weird its like shes pretending that she doesn't like me, we do have some deep intense eye contact and i know she gets jealous me talking to other woman, and constant looking at me while im not looking. but at the same time i think shes avoiding me what the hell is going on?
smackie9 Posted September 13, 2020 Posted September 13, 2020 (edited) You are being made the butt end of a joke, and possibly more in the office gossip. You are being messed with....just ignore her, and if you do interact with her, keep it professional. Better to keep business and private life separate. Edited September 13, 2020 by smackie9
ajequals Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 I think she likes you. See if she wants to have a coffee somewhere. just you and her 1
chillii Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 She;s an idiot , and personally , l've never had time for idiot smart arses whether she liked me or not. 2
Author Shane_88 Posted September 14, 2020 Author Posted September 14, 2020 8 hours ago, ajequals said: I think she likes you. See if she wants to have a coffee somewhere. just you and her Why do you think shes being so nasty? And avoiding me? Is it that shes trying to hide her feelings? 1
Author Shane_88 Posted September 14, 2020 Author Posted September 14, 2020 1 hour ago, chillii said: She;s an idiot , and personally , l've never had time for idiot smart arses whether she liked me or not. Why do you think shes being like it tho? It's weird cause I've never been out of order to her and always been polite etc
Mystery4u Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 You are wasting your time trying to figure out how or why. You can't get into her head. The question is what are you going to do about it? If you like her, stop wasting time and ask her out. When she asked if she can ride in your car your response should have been 'Maybe you can... Depends how dinner goes first..' with a cheeky smile on your face. 2
chillii Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 Sorry buddy , l tend to go with smackies thoughts, perfectly understandable why you didn't pounce like a desperado and asked her out you'd probably have wound up messed with even more.
d0nnivain Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 I think she likes you but is doing a bad job of attracting your attention & you are doing an equally bad job of picking up on her poor signals. She says all this stupid stuff to you in the hopes of getting a conversation going but she's so awkward you read it all as mixed signals because on some level it is. She likes you but don't want to get hurt nor does she want to make work weird. There is a LOT to be said for not dating somebody you work with. When you break up, things at work will be awful. The next time you see her invite to actually go for a ride in your car. Drive her around the block. Don't go too far, maybe 10 minutes max. Talk to her in the car to get a better feel if she really does like you as a I suspect or if there is something more sinister as smackie9 suggests. If there is mutual attraction, set up a date. If you get anything other than an enthusiastic yes, back off, Never ask again & keep all interactions at work to a head nod & essential work related conversation only while you ignore her. 2
Azincourt Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 She's flirting with you, but she's immature and childish about it. Don't hook-up or date women you work with. Too much drama and too much of a hassle. You need your job, bro. 2
Calmandfocused Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 She is either deranged, purposely winding you up, or ... she does like you but is socially inept and can’t cope/ deal with the situation appropriately. It’s odd whichever way you look at it. Don’t poop on your own doorstep. Leave her at work where she’s meant to be and don’t get involved. Even if she does like you and something develops between you, you may well regret it later on down the line ... 1
Azincourt Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 I wouldn't go as far as caling her deranged. She just lacks social skills. She was probably an awkward kid growing up and she never got the chance to develop her social skills, only to suddenly find herself in a workplace with a guy she might be attracted to, and because she never interacted much with guys, she doesn't know what to do to call his attention. Either way, it doesn't really matter. This woman could be a 19 year old Laetitia Casta and you should still forget all about her, just ignore her as much as possible if you can. There are couples that are married and all that jazz who've met each other at the workplace, but that's rare amongst your generation and amongst my own, and it's too much of a hassle, and you never know how the relationship might turn out like, and then you'll have to endure the ex for 5 days a week.
Chilli Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 44 minutes ago, Calmandfocused said: She is either deranged, purposely winding you up, or ... she does like you but is socially inept and can’t cope/ deal with the situation appropriately. It’s odd whichever way you look at it. Don’t poop on your own doorstep. Leave her at work where she’s meant to be and don’t get involved. Even if she does like you and something develops between you, you may well regret it later on down the line ... This is the thing , when it turns to shyt with someone like her, you'll probably be looking for a new job just to get out of there. 2
JTSW Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 Nope, don't go there with her. She sounds like big trouble. She sounds like an immature idiot and would be even worse if you were dating. She clearly doesnt like you talking to other women, even if it is just work related so you can imagine how much nastier she would be if you were dating. This woman has psychotic potential. 3
Azincourt Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 Avoid her as much as possible, OP. Make it known to everyone how you don't feel comfortable around her, but not with words. With your body language instead.
kendahke Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 Don't poop where you eat. Leave coworkers alone. Surely women cannot be that thin on the ground where you are that you'd seriously consider trying to wade through her silliness and immaturity? If she's socially inept, then that's her heavy lift to work out, not yours. 1
SumGuy Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 8 hours ago, Shane_88 said: Why do you think shes being like it tho? It's weird cause I've never been out of order to her and always been polite etc I'm guessing you are young or just lucky in life or have never seen a Karen video. There are plenty of people who are nuts like this, who knows...well I could guess as there are several disorders that might fit the bill. Or you may have unknowingly offended her in some way, not even by actions just who you are and if you remind her of someone. Anyway you cut it she is bad news in my book. 2
Ruby Slippers Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 I agree she likes you, but her approach is rather junior high-ish. Ask her out, and if she says no, ignore her and talk to other women at work. It'll drive her crazy Also, are you wearing a baseball cap indoors? I get that you're self-conscious about losing your hair, but the thing is that some women just don't care. There are lots of attractive bald guys - Joe Rogan, Putin, and on and on. It's a lot more attractive to own it with confidence than to wear a ballcap indoors - which is kinda bad manners and seems off. 1
Caauug Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 On 9/13/2020 at 10:41 PM, Shane_88 said: "fine! why do you always wear a baseball cap?" it was a really random out of place question but i said "i just do". I'm losing my hair and found myself wearing caps to deal with it as its a bit of an insecure thing for me. But i think shes cottoned on to this and used it against me cause she was jealous of this other woman. Yes, you are correct. She's not blind, she knows you are going bald.... She sees your insecurities with loosing your hair and then because there is now competition, she wants to see if you are worth the competition for your attention... She was shyte testing you!!! (google that term using the correct spelling) Or, how do you handle when your insecurities are thrown in your face at short notice? A strong person would not be rattled... She likes you, and is measuring you up if you are worthy of her attention, that is why the test.... Women do this without even knowing they are doing it... It's all part of evolution on finding a strong (braun or brains) suitable mate. On 9/13/2020 at 10:41 PM, Shane_88 said: if she wanted to sit in my car, she could, she laughed and said "maybe one day" and walked off! Good, she's making you chase it.... For the most part, another test on you personality.... On 9/13/2020 at 10:41 PM, Shane_88 said: Its weird its like shes pretending that she doesn't like me, we do have some deep intense eye contact and i know she gets jealous me talking to other woman, and constant looking at me while im not looking. but at the same time i think shes avoiding me She does like you, but are you worth the chase (to her)? It's a game, to test your frame.... How strong are you?
Chilli Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 l know what your sayin but she's not that clever. 1
Azincourt Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 (edited) Wearing a basebal cap doesn't mean the guy wearing it is going bald. I have a full head of thick hair and I wear baseball caps all the time, everyday. Before the covid-19 era I was wearing baseball caps because wearing a cap would make my square jaw look more square, giving me a sharp look to my jawline, and making myself more attractive. Also, a baseball cap protects my skin from the damaging effects of the sun, which slows down the aging process. People are so used to seeing me with a cap, that to this day if I show up anywhere without a cap, people won't stop staring at me. I reckon people assume I'm balding. No, I just like caps, amongst other reasons. But if you are indeed going bald, you have two choices. Go without the baseball cap, and that way women will know you're bald, and they will either lose interest in you because you are bald, or they will still be attracted to you and they won't care about the baldness. Although if I was you I'd seriously consider saving up money to get a hair transplant operation. Anyway, when a woman is attracted to you she doesn't make fun of your insecurities. I have girly wrists. Like Leonardo Dicaprio. When a woman flirts with me she ain't gonna go all, ''ooooh, I have seen Disney Princessess with thicker wrists than you'' or something, because they don't want me to turn away from them, emotionally. Edited September 14, 2020 by Azincourt
Wiseman2 Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 On 9/13/2020 at 10:41 AM, Shane_88 said: but now shes telling people i invited her into my car, and i think their having a bit of a giggle about it When you posted this under another user name, I suggested that you back off if she is tell her coworkers, boss etc that you are coming on to her.
Azincourt Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 Quote but now shes telling people i invited her into my car, and i think their having a bit of a giggle about it Stay away from this woman, dude. She sounds like trouble.
Maldives Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 11 hours ago, Azincourt said: She's flirting with you, but she's immature and childish about it. Don't hook-up or date women you work with. Too much drama and too much of a hassle. You need your job, bro. I agree with the above that's where I met my ex and 6 yrs later we broke up or should say she broke it off It ended up being a very painful next two yrs for me while she dated two guys in the office in front of me. I would not recommend dating someone in the office unless you plan on leaving or know you can just get another job if the s*** hits the fan 1
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