Kathy62773 Posted October 12, 2005 Posted October 12, 2005 Hi All, I am happily married female and also have another male partner of seven years. Both relationships are very healthy. To put it simply, my other partner needs a public relationship that he can occassionally take to family events etc. He is completely committed to me, he is just a bit upset that family and some friends believe he lives his life as though he were a monk since they have never seen him date anyone. He would like to meet a female, straight or gay, that needs a "stand in" as well for occassional events. He would be willing to provide the same for that individual. I am wondering if anyone has found a resource for this type of thing? Perhaps there are sites out there for gays who remain in the closet? People who are in the same situation? There have to be others out there who need this same type of relationship. Opinions? Advise? Thanks to all who respond
Hot Coco Posted October 12, 2005 Posted October 12, 2005 Sorry, but I'm new on here. Do people start "joke threads" just for fun? This can't be serious! If it is, this is the saddest thing I've ever read. (No offense if this is REALLY for real.)
Author Kathy62773 Posted October 13, 2005 Author Posted October 13, 2005 The post is not a joke and neither of us considers the situation sad at all. We are content with our situation and would just like to ease the anxiety his family feels over his apparent lack of a love/dating life. Kathy
scratch Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 The post is not a joke and neither of us considers the situation sad at all. We are content with our situation and would just like to ease the anxiety his family feels over his apparent lack of a love/dating life. Kathy I think Coco was just expressing his/her curiousity about such a nontraditional arrangement. I'm rather curious as well. What are the "rules?" How does each man feel about the other? I think the answer to your question may be hard to find. It's unlikely that someone would undergo the time and expense to create a hub where people could go for the primary purpose of finding others to help them con thier familiies. Perhaps some sort of escort would be his best bet, someone who would be reliable and adept at feigning romantic interest in front of his family.
Hot Coco Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 I'm so sorry but all I can say is....wow. Just when you think you've heard it all! Good luck in your quest but I'm curious about something...if you're "happily married" like you've said why do you need someone else? I don't get it. And why risk that marriage?
Author Kathy62773 Posted October 13, 2005 Author Posted October 13, 2005 The two men are very good friends and have been for 15 years. I have known the other man for about 20 years. The OM was a great friend who never approached me for a relationship even though he fell in love with me years before I knew about it. I had always cared deeply for him, but thought I wasn't a girl he wanted to date so we remained 'just friends'. At some point when life got rough for both of us, we shared our feelings for one another. Our love has grown deeper and and we greatly value the closeness we share. My husband knows how emotionally deep my relationship is with the om and is relatively comfortable with it. He I don't talk about any sort of physical relationship between the om and me.
Hot Coco Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 Why would you discuss you're infidelity with your husband? I'm not surprised that you don't. And I agree with the other poster. Who would ever agree to such an arrangement? What would THEY get out of it? Yeah, hire an escort. I really feel sorry for your husband. You're both making a fool of him. If that's a "great marriage" what would you consider a bad one? Fooling the man who loved you enough to marry him is a great marriage? That's what I meant by it's sad. Someone else posted about morals today. Where have they gone? Does anyone take responsibility anymore for their actions? Why take vows and get married if it means nothing? I'm sorry, I just don't get it.
Sunset Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 If your H knows about OM why can't you go the parties with him? Or is it that he's putting up with it rather than being happy with the relationship? Some people do have an open marriage so I personally don't find it that strange. OM has a girlfriend for fun without strings and she gets the excitement with OM whilst being in a safe relationship with H. Not totally sure what H gets out of it. Perhaps he loves his W so much he would rather share than risk losing her or perhaps he has 'extras' too. None of us on here are really in a place to judge, specially me I am sure if you google on the gay 'in the closet' sites there will be community boards on there which discuss, maybe there is someone in your area who it would really help out too. Just make sure shes ugly though in case she turns out bi and he's tempted
Recommended Posts