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I turned a corner

Datingdisabled

By Datingdisabled
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Datingdisabled Established Member

Datingdisabled

Posted
Posted

My posts are confusing to say the least but I have turned a corner. I'm able to move forward from an obsession that paralyzed me. I have come to have a few favorite posters on this site and I wanted to acknowledge some of them without saying names. I have turned a corner and accepted that this man did not have any romantic feelings for me due to the events (mainly my psychotic behavior) after the initial attraction which may not have been so mutual. 

I do not have any negative feelings towards anyone and have currently no contact with anyone for them to be able to comment. I do believe that whomever is with this man, whoever this man chooses to have as his girlfriend, is a lucky women but aware that it's not me. 

I am aware that I am in no position to be in a relationship but I need to connect with other men to start and develop attraction to men which will ultimately assist in moving forward. I need hobbies and to stay on top of my life. 

I'm getting support systems in place, therapy, connecting with neighbors (going out with one this morning) and over all, being a better person. 

I'm going to prioritize my home life and my self moving forward but acknowledging the efforts even though I am going to leave this man in the past. I feel better acknowledging the effort someone has given me despite the fact that this is not something I want to hold onto as it's an obsession. Obsessions are not healthy for anyone involved. 

I'm not a violent person and I wouldn't deliberately hurt someone but I did suffer as a result of this obsession. I was an emotional disaster and consumed by thoughts of him with another women that made me feel less then her and sad. I had difficulties facing people and it was almost as though my self worth was dependant on how this man views me and my air depended on this persons view. That is no longer the case. 

I'm writing this because it acknowledges that this is not healthy for me or him and should bring comfort to know that people can overcome mental health issues and move on to a better life. People do tend to get obsessed with other people although it's not common. 

I'm not sure what happened but I'm going to go to therapy today after sports medicine and try to find out why I was obsessed with him. 

The nature of me is to acknowledge someone and thank them but in this case I'm doing it now as oppose to later. I will never contact this person again and send well wishes his way. 

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Dork Vader Established Member

Dork Vader

Posted
Posted (edited)

I think you're really taking  steps in the right direction! I have not seen your other posts, but from what I gathered in this post you're doing the right things. My only advice is that you don't look to other men to help you get over this previous guy. That's not a healthy means of coping and moving forward with your life. Trust me I learned that the hard way, except with woman. When I was younger and my relationships would fail I would often go on a "newly single" binge and do a lot of really stupid things. That behavior either lead to more heartache or created more problems in my life than I already had. Stay busy, focus on yourself and self improvement. Whether you attend some classes, really focus on mental health treatment, exercise or what ever suits you.. That is by far the best path to take in terms of getting over this previous guy. 

Always remember with self improvement, your focus is on progress not perfection. Just like with dieting and exercise, you might not adhere to it perfectly. Just because you slipped up and ate an unhealthy meal or skipped a few days of exercise, is not excuse to completely give up the diet and exercise. The same is true with self improvement and mental health treatment.

I can completely understand how dating can be difficult for people like us. I myself am OCD, we are talking Howard Hughes type of OCD. I have been in treatment for it since I was 15. For many years I resisted treatment. I have taken treatment seriously for the last 6 years. I found medication that helps and has minimal side effects, I read the books my therapist suggest and do the exercises/advice he gives me. I don't do things perfectly but I put effort into it and really strive to the best I can. It's been life changing for me, I'm still very much an OCD person, but it does not rule my life anymore.

Edited by Dork Vader
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