Is it common for guys to ditch a first date based on another great first date?

[Alvi]

On 9/10/2020 at 11:39 PM, babybrowns said:

But his words and actions did suggest interest.

What words? Other than some long monologues about himself, he didn't seem to give a hoot about you. Like when you were talking about yourself and your day, he wouldn't respond to that at all. A bid red flag here.  An interested guy shows some sort of ummm, interest, by asking you additional questions and/or commenting on what was said. 

Actions? What actions? He didn't meet you. So, no actions on his side. Words are chap quite often mean nothing, especially on-line.

[CLS63AMG]

On 9/9/2020 at 3:27 PM, babybrowns said:

Hello all,

One week ago, I matched with a guy online. He asked me out immediately and we scheduled a first date for tomorrow; I couldn't make it before then. This past week, he was almost 'lovebombing' me. He wasn't sending me texts, but rather very long voice messages every day. He was almost using me as a personal journal. 

In these voice messages, he would detail what he's been up to that day, what his worries and his hopes are about what he'd be doing that afternoon, how excited he was to meet me this week, and how he hoped I was still excited about our date too, everything. He asked me to send voice notes back which I did. My tone was friendly and interested, without giving too much away since I'd not met him in person yet. He kept saying how eager he was to meet the person behind the voice. Until..

Today, he sent me an abrupt text message. Told me he went on a first date with another girl earlier this week whom he "really liked a lot and is seeing her for a second date later this week too." How he had to cancel our date because he is "not that kind of guy". But that he "enjoyed our lovely messages". I was disheartened by this since I was looking forward to meeting him, especially after how he got me to connect with him/ warm to him via sharing these 'close and personal' voice messages with me every day.

I know that it was my choice to not have this first date with him sooner. But it was just such an abrupt turnaround, I am wondering if it is common for men to just drop all prospects suddenly if they go on a great first date?

Guy is an idiot, when the other girl gives him the boot after the 3rd or 4th date expect him to come crawling back, oh and about the silly voice messages, hear this, I have a girl sending me them now, about 10 last night alone (as responses to my texts).  Then she asked why I didn't send one, I said give me your number and I'll call.  She couldn't because she had a friend over, ok, well lets set up a date then - and she wouldn't give me a straight answer for that either (we didn't just meet, been in contact over a week, then she gave me the gears for not texting her over the long weekend)  so she should be ripe to meet, but nope.  Head scratcher for sure, she's probably sent me 10 pics pf herself too (that I didn't ask for).

Edited September 13, 2020 by CLS63AMG

[CLS63AMG]

On 9/10/2020 at 12:49 PM, amerikajin said:

Good God, online dating is becoming brutal. That message reads like it's a message from an HR division.

"Dear Miss,

Thank you for your application to be a member of my harem. I appreciate your interest in me. As you can imagine, I've had a lot of highly qualified applicants, and unfortunately, I have decided to select one of these other applicants at this time.

However, please be on the look out for another opportunity to do me in the future.

Good luck your mate search.

Warmest Regards,

Narcissistic Ass"

Lol reminds me of a girl I went on one or 2 dates with and she told me how she punted some other guy and told him full on about how well our dates went and how she really thinks we have a future.  My jaw about hit the floor, I was in no way ready to commit to this woman and if I had others on the go at the time would have totally still been dating them too.  She turned VERY needy and sunk her claws in after just 3 dates (that included a weekend away) but it was enough to scare me away!

[Fletch Lives]

Sorry about that, but this sounds like typical dating to me. Dating is not for the faint of heart. It's okay, there are more fish in the sea, you'll find the one.

[babybrowns]

17 hours ago, Alvi said:

What words? Other than some long monologues about himself, he didn't seem to give a hoot about you. Like when you were talking about yourself and your day, he wouldn't respond to that at all. A bid red flag here.  An interested guy shows some sort of ummm, interest, by asking you additional questions and/or commenting on what was said. 

Actions? What actions? He didn't meet you. So, no actions on his side. Words are chap quite often mean nothing, especially on-line.

You’re spot on. It is this aspect that you and the others on here have brought up, which is making me think it would have been a waste of my evening. If someone just wants an audience to offload onto rather than genuine 2-way interaction, what I’ve always seen with narcissists I’ve dated in the past, please don’t bother those of us that genuinely are looking for a connection and not seeking to be someone’s silent pretty face 

Edited September 13, 2020 by babybrowns