an0nym0us123 Posted September 8, 2020 Posted September 8, 2020 Last year I went on several dates with a woman that I really liked. We seemed to have a great connection. She seemed really interested in me. However when I contacted her to arrange our 5th date she told me she "wasnt in the right place for this" and basically told me to go away. I ended by saying that I really liked her and was gutted and wished her well to which she never even replied. I never heard from her again. Honestly I was pretty cut up about it for a long time, its rare to ever find someone that I was so excited by. Fast forward over a year and she pops up right in front of me on tinder, after looking at her for 5 mins and after my heart rate had gone back to normal I decided to swipe left since I have tinder gold and I always get a second chance if they like me. A week passed and then she appears in my list of likes, she swiped me right! That was 3 days ago, I have not swiped her right. I dont know if she actually wants to match and talk or was she just curious and will she unmatch me if i swipe her right. Suppose in the short term the worst that can happen is get a kick in the teeth by her doing that. Or we may just match and not talk. I feel its up to her to reach out as she ended it. What to do?
5x5 Posted September 8, 2020 Posted September 8, 2020 Did you have sex with her by your fourth date? if not she probably got bored of waiting for you to step up, and let you go instead of wasting her time waiting for some fun. And on telling her that you were gutted because you didn't get another date after the fourth one, is over the top and off putting. Honestly four dates in and it devastates you that she lets you go????!!!! Try not to come across as so needy. Try not to invest your heart so much to begin with, it's far easier to have some fun, don't sweat it, don't overanalyse it and just see where it goes. As to what to do, swipe right or left it really doesn't matter. Have sex with her if she's up for it, or shrug and move on if she's wasting your time. 1
d0nnivain Posted September 8, 2020 Posted September 8, 2020 You will never know unless you try. We also regret more the things we don't do / the opportunities we miss than the things we try & fail Swipe right & talk to her. But you sit back & get her to give you an explanation you believe about why she disappeared, what changed so that she's back & why this time will be different. Do not emotionally invest in her because at this stage you can't trust her yet. She needs to earn that back.
Calmandfocused Posted September 8, 2020 Posted September 8, 2020 Swipe right! She could have resolved whatever emotional block she had previously. But be guarded. If it becomes clear that she’s still in the same place as she was, don’t go there. It’s not worth it. 2
Author an0nym0us123 Posted September 8, 2020 Author Posted September 8, 2020 We did not have sex. Date 3 we were miles away from anywhere to have sex. Date 4 it was the wrong time of the month. On date 5 i was meant to go to hers and there was no doubt about what was going to be happening. She was sending me topless pics etc. She told me she wasnt in the right place, which is the bog standard blow off used by women. More often than not its someone else. Seen it time and time again. Perhaps my message after she ditched me was slightly needy but i did not hang about trying to change here mind. I said goodbye and never contacted her again. Suppose though im using typical male logic and trying to figure out why she right swiped me when it could in fact be completely meaningless. I have seen plenty women initiate online only to not respond after i did. If i match with her its going to be up to her to reach out. If she cant be bothered then she isnt bothered enough about me to think about seeing me again
d0nnivain Posted September 8, 2020 Posted September 8, 2020 13 minutes ago, an0nym0us123 said: Suppose though im using typical male logic and trying to figure out why she right swiped me when it could in fact be completely meaningless. I have seen plenty women initiate online only to not respond after i did. If i match with her its going to be up to her to reach out. If she cant be bothered then she isnt bothered enough about me to think about seeing me again Sounds good. Let her take the laboring oar. Glad you can be initially detached. As for the "logic" who knows? Don't give it too much thought. The length of this thread is probably already too much. When I 1st read this, what I feared is that she didn't recognize you & swiped right because you are handsome, not remembering that you met before.
Author an0nym0us123 Posted September 8, 2020 Author Posted September 8, 2020 You are right. However this is one of the few women I met in my life that made my heart skip a beat, hence the thread. Normally these days I dont get attached very easily. I think Ill swipe right and forget about it. What will be will be 1
bobjon Posted September 8, 2020 Posted September 8, 2020 Man, I just cannot agree with swiping right. Hell, I cannot even agree with this gold tinder thing. Here is what I have learned in life. The women that are top level enough that your heart skips, have options and most of them today give in to the options, and that is what it sounds like here. You were dating, then all of a sudden she jumped ship. She VERY likely went shopping at azz-mart as I call it, and took something home. It obviously didn't work out, but that should have ZERO matter to you. The fact is she chose someone else over YOU. It will either happen again, or she is just looking for an ego boost to see if you will like her. I hate women like this with a passion. Hear me man, NEVER be someone's plan B. I suspect you will still swipe right and I can understand if she towered over the rest for you, but she has already shown some very negative traits. She would be the one you marry, and she is flirting with guys at her work. Women always talk about getting married, blah, they love attention and the more guys the better. Or you could go full savage and swipe right, wait for her to contact, then give her a nice door slam.
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