Is it legal for a former adult teacher to seek out a relationship with a 17-year old former pupil in the UK?

[fred123]

Im curious about a situation before I get involved. About 6 months ago I was in a school teaching for a month then I left.  

Last week I was in touch with a former pupil who is 17 now and she is off to another college. Is it legal to get involved or not?

I am from the UK

Edited September 5, 2020 by fred123

[elaine567]

How old are you?

[fred123]

8 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

How old are you?

30

[d0nnivain]

Legal probably. . . you would need to consult the laws in the UK.  

Moral or a good idea -- heck no.  You are too old for her & your life stages are too incompatible.  

What happens in these things is that at 17  & a new HS graduate the young woman & the older man are on the same page intellectually & at their stages of emotional & social development.  You are a fully formed adult who won't change.  She is growing & changing.  As she goes to college / university  she will outpace you & become bored quickly leaving you heartbroken & frustrated  when she outgrows you.  Spare yourself the heartache.  .  

[fred123]

2 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

Legal probably. . . you would need to consult the laws in the UK.  

Moral or a good idea -- heck no.  You are too old for her & your life stages are too incompatible.  

What happens in these things is that at 17  & a new HS graduate the young woman & the older man are on the same page intellectually & at their stages of emotional & social development.  You are a fully formed adult who won't change.  She is growing & changing.  As she goes to college / university  she will outpace you & become bored quickly leaving you heartbroken & frustrated  when she outgrows you.  Spare yourself the heartache.  .  

Yh i understand that. think it will be just fun/sexual. just wanted to know the laws before I do anything untoward.

 

thanx

 

[elaine567]

Why were you in touch with her?

[fred123]

Just now, elaine567 said:

Why were you in touch with her?

to see how her results were. I was only there for a month. left in feb. hadnt been in contact until last week

[d0nnivain]

2 minutes ago, fred123 said:

to see how her results were. I was only there for a month. left in feb. hadnt been in contact until last week

Did she call you or did you call her?  If you called her, trying to move this to a sexual place makes you a creepy, dirty old man.  Don't do it.  

[elaine567]

I think you are treading on dodgy  ground.
You were/are her teacher and just because she is 17 does not make her fair game.
I think older teachers hitting on pupils is creepy and I  guess could harm your career if this becomes general knowledge.
All you need is her mother/father to complain that you  groomed their daughter and you are in a sticky situation.

[fred123]

ok thanx for your responses. Yes I will stay away. thank you:) 

[ExpatInItaly]

Do not go there with her. 

You need better boundaries.You're too old to be even considering hooking up with a teenager, much less one who was your student not so long ago. 

 

[Mystery4u]

The fact you are even asking the question is very worrying.

[ExpatInItaly]

32 minutes ago, Mystery4u said:

The fact you are even asking the question is very worrying.

Exactly. 

[amerikajin]

3 hours ago, fred123 said:

Im curious about a situation before I get involved. About 6 months ago I was in a school teaching for a month then I left.  

Last week I was in touch with a former pupil who is 17 now and she is off to another college. Is it legal to get involved or not?

I am from the UK

In general, I would not touch anyone under the age of legal majority or adulthood, whatever that is in the country in question. In the United States it's 18 or older. Despite all of these individual state laws indicating that someone could give consent at 15 or 16, most lawyers worth a flip would tell you 'don't even think about it' unless she's 18 or older. In Japan, the age of majority was actually 20, but I think it was legal in most cases once a female was over the age of 18 - as I recall.

Also, in many jurisdictions, even when someone is 18, it may still be against the law to commit institutionalized sexual offenses, which occur in public institutions such as schools, prisons, or state-run hospitals like hospitals or mental health centers. These laws are intended to prevent people in power from using their authority to gain sexual favors. So there's that to consider beyond just age.

[Gaeta]

I have a 16 year old at home and I remember some 18 year old guy was interested in her and I was ready to hunt him down, imagine if it had been an ex teacher of 30! 

Let 17 year olds discover life, love and sex with boys their own age. You deal with women your own age. What could you have in common with a 17 year old who can't even drink or enter a night club. You're not thinking straight! Remember, girls that age have parents often overprotective parents, you're looking for trouble.

[schlumpy]

No matter how you frame it, you will be judged harshly by most people because of the Child/teacher paradigm. There are built in public expectations that you will find it hard to overcome.

It very possibly could ruin your career.

Everlasting love? Yes.

Fun and excitement? No.

[elaine567]

All we have at the moment is  Fred calling this girl to ask about her exam results.
He then gets it into his head she may be up for some fun/sex...
Who knows what she really thinks about him...

[BaileyB]

It’s totally inappropriate for you to be in touch with this girl, let alone thinking that you could date her or have sex with her. Sorry.

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, fred123 said:

Im curious about a situation before I get involved. About 6 months ago I was in a school teaching for a month then I left.  

Last week I was in touch with a former pupil who is 17 now and she is off to another college. Is it legal to get involved or not?

I am from the UK

Sorry but even if it were legal, it's foolish

[smackie9]

I remember when I was 17...a 30 year old guy trying to hit me up? gross. If you are a teacher like you say you are, you should know how to do your research and google that stuff up on your own....I say you are just in it to get people riled up on here.

Edited September 5, 2020 by smackie9

[ShyViolet]

Regardless of whether it's legal, why would a 30 year old be considering doing anything sexual with a 17 year old?  That is just totally weird and inappropriate.  Can you not find women closer to your own age?  Even 20 would be a lot more appropriate.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Why did you leave after one month?

Did you contact any other students about their "results" or just her?

This is creepy AF.

[mark clemson]

If you want to know the law, go talk to a lawyer.

[Watercolors]

OP, did you complete your 4 week teaching contract at her school as a substitute teacher, or were you asked to leave for inappropriate interactions with students? 

You are 30 years old. You have no business messing around with a 17 year old girl. What are you thinking?!

Date women your own age, or who are 21 years old at least. But leave teenagers alone will you? 

[Dork Vader]

On 9/5/2020 at 3:47 AM, fred123 said:

Yh i understand that. think it will be just fun/sexual. just wanted to know the laws before I do anything untoward.

 

thanx

 

Please stop teaching and find a profession away from youth. You do not belong there.. Viewing your students/pupils as sexual flings is just down right disturbing on numerous levels. For starters you can easily take advantage of them simply because you used to hold an authority position over them. Then there is the fact that are young and inexperienced in the dating world. So much wrong with this. I think you should go to your local Police and ask them straight up if it's okay for you to have sex with one of your pupils who's 17. Let us know how it goes wand whether or not you're allowed to continue to teach.

Edited September 6, 2020 by Dork Vader