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Guy I'm talking to posts sexually provoactive pictures of himself on social media.

Ms.Jade

By Ms.Jade
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Ms.Jade Member

Ms.Jade

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I was just curious to everyone's view on this. So I've been talking to this guy for awhile and everything is great. We're not officially dating yet so I really don't have much say in anything he does however there's something about him that's put me off a little bit. Recently we've shared each other's facebook and instagram pages. I notice on his page he posts a lot of sexually provocative pictures of himself basically with him being almost naked. He posts a lot of pictures of himself with nothing but his underwear on and a lot of sexually explicit content. I talked to him about it andhe  basically just says it's something that he posts when he's bored. Would this be a deal breaker for you in someone your dating? Just seems off putting for me!

Bantosm Established Member

Bantosm

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It may just be his way of seeing who shows an initial interest in him. I don't see an issue with it unless you were actually exclusively dating him. 

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ShyViolet Established Member

ShyViolet

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Well yeah for me that would be a deal breaker because I find people who do that to be very immature and shallow.  It's a weird way to seek attention.  To me it has nothing to do with whether he is single or taken.... I find it a weird thing to do even for a person who is single.

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HadMeOverABarrel Established Member

HadMeOverABarrel

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🙅

Done and done.

Mark my words...this will become problematic if you continue with him. 

Make a u-turn while your sanity is in tact. 

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CaliforniaGirl Established Member

CaliforniaGirl

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Hard pass.

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FudgeSwirl Established Member

FudgeSwirl

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People who do that are huge attention seekers with the potential of being co-dependent relying on likes and comments for assurance and ego building.  His reasoning also is silly because there are many other ways to occupy your time when you're bored.   If I were in your situation I would not want to go out with somebody like that.

 

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Ms.Jade Member

Ms.Jade

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58 minutes ago, FudgeSwirl said:

People who do that are huge attention seekers with the potential of being co-dependent relying on likes and comments for assurance and ego building.  His reasoning also is silly because there are many other ways to occupy your time when you're bored.   If I were in your situation I would not want to go out with somebody like that.

 

Exactly he claims that if he were to get serious with someone that he would stop taking those type of pictures in respect of the girlfriend. I like the guy it's just the picture thing is weird to me and shows a lack of self respect and class to me in my opinion. He has a nice body and keeps himself in shape but you don't need to show the world that. He gets a lot of likes on those pictures so it does seem like something he does for an ego boost. The last pic he took was of him being naked in his apartment and he  had a beer bottle covering his private parts. Like who does that?? Overall he seems like a good guy so far but I don't know, maybe I should just let this one go.

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FudgeSwirl Established Member

FudgeSwirl

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Absolutely.   I agree with you about letting him go.  People can be nice on a non-romantic level and do those kinds of things on social media.  He may be telling the truth that if he were in a serious relationship he wouldn't post those kinds of pictures but in exchange for that he would most likely need constant praise from his partner regarding how great he looks and how wonderful of a guy he is to take pride in his appearance by working out often.  

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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You are not dating, you have not met in person. Just block and delete him from social media and messaging apps.

Date real people in real life. Who knows maybe he's a male escort.🤔

  • Like 1
ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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I wouldn't keep dating him. He's free to do whatever he wants online, but it what it says about his overall mindset and maturity level that would turn me right off. 

It's attention-seeking. I prefer men who are more mature and don't post things like this to begin with.

introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

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Yeah, this is super unappealing.

First, it shows he is an attention-seeker, and needs the validation of others to feel good about himself.  That won't change (barring therapy or some other intense self-work) and may even get worse once he "has" you.

Second -- and this may just be me -- but if this is his answer to being bored, it tells me he has no real hobbies or interests. And that would bore me, frankly.

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snowboy91 Established Member

snowboy91

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7 hours ago, Ms.Jade said:

He has a nice body and keeps himself in shape but you don't need to show the world that. 

Perhaps it's his way of expressing himself. I'm not sure if there's that much of a difference between that and posing nude for artistic photos.

But if you're not comfortable with that then it will always be a flash point if you were to get into a relationship with him. Consider that a difference in compatibility between you and him and move on to the next.

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d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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It's not going to stop once you become exclusive. 

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Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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7 hours ago, Ms.Jade said:

 being naked in his apartment and he  had a beer bottle covering his private parts. Like who does that?? .

Male escorts.

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Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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Eww. I'd definitely pass.

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introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

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41 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Male escorts.

Damn, I miss that laughing emoji.

This is priceless. 

  • Like 3
Redguitar35 Established Member

Redguitar35

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I have some artistic nudes on my social media from some modeling work I’ve done and they show a lot. This girl I’ve been talking to who wants to meet me does not have a problem with it. That said, they are tasteful nudes. I’m not sure what this guy’s look like. Also people have different comfort levels when it comes to nudes. Some people make literal porn and their partners participate. You’re at the other end of the spectrum, where that’s not a side of him you’re comfortable with. So I’m not gonna say you’re overreacting. It’s alright not to be totally sex positive. But if you’re not comfortable with this side of him (this clearly bothers you), and you are not yet in a relationship with him, might be best to stop chatting. 

Edited by Redguitar35
More detail.
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Hotmess118 Member

Hotmess118

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OP what does he do for work?

34 minutes ago, Redguitar35 said:

I have some artistic nudes on my social media from some modeling work I’ve done and they show a lot.

I think it's different to have tasteful and artistic nudes from a professional standpoint vs. posting pictures of yourself for attention - which is what it seems like this guy is doing.

IDK I'm friends with my parents, family members, and people who used to be my teachers on my social media. I'd share those photos somewhere else if it was me. I think for met this would be a deal breaker for me I would just be uncomfortable with that kind of content.

kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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13 hours ago, Ms.Jade said:

I was just curious to everyone's view on this. So I've been talking to this guy for awhile and everything is great. We're not officially dating yet so I really don't have much say in anything he does however there's something about him that's put me off a little bit. Recently we've shared each other's facebook and instagram pages. I notice on his page he posts a lot of sexually provocative pictures of himself basically with him being almost naked. He posts a lot of pictures of himself with nothing but his underwear on and a lot of sexually explicit content. I talked to him about it andhe  basically just says it's something that he posts when he's bored. Would this be a deal breaker for you in someone your dating? Just seems off putting for me!

The more important question is: is it a deal breaker FOR YOU?  If it's off putting to you, then take actions that buttress that. Stop talking to him if it bothers you that much.

Edited by kendahke
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kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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9 hours ago, Ms.Jade said:

Exactly he claims that if he were to get serious with someone that he would stop taking those type of pictures in respect of the girlfriend.

What he really said is that he'd make sure she didn't know he was still doing it---because he's going to be just as bored when in a relationship as he is outside of a relationship if he can't find something else to alleviate his boredom. People who seek attention and are used to seeking attention don't just stop because they're with someone--that's not the charge they're after.

Edited by kendahke
introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Redguitar35 said:

I have some artistic nudes on my social media from some modeling work I’ve done and they show a lot. This girl I’ve been talking to who wants to meet me does not have a problem with it. That said, they are tasteful nudes. I’m not sure what this guy’s look like.

 

10 hours ago, Ms.Jade said:

The last pic he took was of him being naked in his apartment and he  had a beer bottle covering his private parts.

I know, I know... "artistic" and "tasteful" are subjective. But naked with a beer bottle covering his junk reaches neither of those adjectives in my book.

Edited by introverted1
grammar
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Ms.Jade Member

Ms.Jade

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3 hours ago, Redguitar35 said:

I have some artistic nudes on my social media from some modeling work I’ve done and they show a lot. This girl I’ve been talking to who wants to meet me does not have a problem with it. That said, they are tasteful nudes. I’m not sure what this guy’s look like. Also people have different comfort levels when it comes to nudes. Some people make literal porn and their partners participate. You’re at the other end of the spectrum, where that’s not a side of him you’re comfortable with. So I’m not gonna say you’re overreacting. It’s alright not to be totally sex positive. But if you’re not comfortable with this side of him (this clearly bothers you), and you are not yet in a relationship with him, might be best to stop chatting. 

 

 

2 hours ago, Hotmess118 said:

OP what does he do for work?

I think it's different to have tasteful and artistic nudes from a professional standpoint vs. posting pictures of yourself for attention - which is what it seems like this guy is doing.

IDK I'm friends with my parents, family members, and people who used to be my teachers on my social media. I'd share those photos somewhere else if it was me. I think for met this would be a deal breaker for me I would just be uncomfortable with that kind of content.

He's not a nude artist, these are basically pics he takes of himself with his cell phone. I've met him a few times and the vibe was really great so when he just casually gave me his social media and didn't tell me about these type pics it just took me by surprise. Not all of his pics are nude and provocative. He has pictures with his clothes on and where he's out and about with family/friends etc. He never really gave me a creepy vibe but the nude pic thing is weird, he seems comfortable posting it for his family and friends to see and some of their responses are weird. Some are basically laughing telling him to put some clothes on, then there's the random thirsty females that comment about how sexy he looks and it's off putting. Seems hard to find a normal guy where I am lol

Velvet teddy Established Member

Velvet teddy

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17 hours ago, Ms.Jade said:

I was just curious to everyone's view on this. So I've been talking to this guy for awhile and everything is great. We're not officially dating yet so I really don't have much say in anything he does however there's something about him that's put me off a little bit. Recently we've shared each other's facebook and instagram pages. I notice on his page he posts a lot of sexually provocative pictures of himself basically with him being almost naked. He posts a lot of pictures of himself with nothing but his underwear on and a lot of sexually explicit content. I talked to him about it andhe  basically just says it's something that he posts when he's bored. Would this be a deal breaker for you in someone your dating? Just seems off putting for me!

100% a deal breaker.

He's most likely a shallow guy.  If i was you i'd keep it unofficial 😂.

This is what he does when he's bored...really? Aim higher. 

  • Like 1
Watercolors Established Member

Watercolors

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Eww. Just ewww. The movie "American Psycho" comes to mind. I'll pass on a guy like the OP describes. Pfft. Yowsa. 

  • Like 1
Nuntius Established Member

Nuntius

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11 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Male escorts.

And women.  Women thrive on the attention of posting sexually provocative pictures of themselves on social media, youtube, etc.  The ratio of women to men who do this is about a million to one.  Much of social media is comprised of attention seeking lowlifes anyways.

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