ShyViolet Posted August 31, 2020 Posted August 31, 2020 I think it's possible you misinterpreted his "romantic" actions. You keep saying that he was acting very "romantic" on the dates.... cuddling, breakfast in bed, telling you that you're beautiful, wrapping a blanket around you. Those are acts of affection but those things do not equate to wanting a relationship. That just might be his style of physical affection when he's with someone in the moment. You may have said something, even if it was not a big deal at all to you, that suggested you wanted a serious relationship, and that made him realize that you don't want the same things. I don't think it's fair to write him off as a jerk or a player. At least he was honest with you. 2 1
poppyfields Posted August 31, 2020 Posted August 31, 2020 (edited) Blondegirl, do you know why he and his ex broke up in February? I think he must have been quite attracted to you to behave the way he did, but I agree you may have inadvertently said something that triggered him suddenly breaking it off the way he did too. For example, he mentioned not being ready to meet your family, not for a long while, did you mention something about that? Meeting your family? He also mentioned not being ready for anything serious. Well given the fact you were chill with him and never mentioned getting serious, would suggest that he himself felt himself feeling serious, but because he wasn't ready for it, or didn't want it, he ran. Another poster laughed at the suggestion he may have a fear of closeness or commitment, but I would not rule it out, such fears are quite real for many people. It's true I'm not a psychologist but I have read many books and articles about various fears and anxieties that sabotage relationships. And it's very typical of those with such fears/anxieties to rush in fast with all the romantic gestures etc and then suddenly, without warning, do a complete 180 the way he did. It is also typical of those with such fears to run back to an ex. Not that any of that, if true, is any consolation to you now. A dating experience that seemed quite promising has suddenly ended, for whatever reason, and that hurts. I'm really sorry. Edited August 31, 2020 by poppyfields
ExpatInItaly Posted August 31, 2020 Posted August 31, 2020 9 hours ago, Blondegirl89 said: Gonna guess it’s either one of those the ex or a new girl as he’s deleted all the dating apps he used. We matched on a few he added me on Instagram as well and we started talking then but he’s deleted his dating profiles. I think this is probably the best guess, especially given that he's deleted all the apps. He was just looking for a "gentler" way of telling you.
kismetkismet Posted August 31, 2020 Posted August 31, 2020 Some people just like to have all the nice mushy parts of a relationship in the moment, without the obligation or commitment. That's the fun and easy part. Them being sweet and romantic while you're together doesn't mean anything if they only want it when it's convenient for them.
Erik30 Posted August 31, 2020 Posted August 31, 2020 (edited) 11 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: I think this is probably the best guess, especially given that he's deleted all the apps. He was just looking for a "gentler" way of telling you. I'm not so sure he actually deleted the dating apps. He probably just deleted all of the matches he had with the OP... But it doesn't matter now anyway. On to the next one Edited August 31, 2020 by Erik30 4
Watercolors Posted August 31, 2020 Posted August 31, 2020 34 minutes ago, Erik30 said: I'm not so sure he actually deleted the dating apps. He probably just deleted all of the matches he had with the OP... But it doesn't matter now anyway. On to the next one Exactly. Wondering why he doesn't want to be with you is a normal response but it is also a waste of time. 1 1
ssm617 Posted September 1, 2020 Posted September 1, 2020 (edited) On 8/30/2020 at 5:36 PM, Mystery4u said: It's funny how all the female posters are saying it is nothing to do with you. As a man, I can tell you it's everything to do with you. He enjoyed your time together, but he decided, for whatever reason, you are not 'the one' he wants to settle down with. And there's nothing wrong with that, that's what dating is for. Actually fair play to him for telling you now, when he could have easily led you on for months and kept sleeping with you. Us men can meet a woman, do everything romantic like you described, enjoying the time together. When it comes down to it, if there isn't that unexplainable feeling of being crazy about them and wanting them on another level, we will end things. Short version: he's just not that into you. I'm a man as well and I think there are several possible reasons why he lost interest. Sometimes it can have nothing to do with the other person. Some men (like some women) may realize they aren't ready or available for a relationship. Not completely over an ex, taking a break from dating because of other things happening in their lives etc. It's also possible that he felt that they weren't compatible for whatever reason, met another woman that liked better, was already in relationship and had second thoughts about cheating, got back together with ex etc. Yes I realize it can be disappointing when someone thinks there was potential for a relationship and it didn't happen. But most likely we won't find the actual reason why as all we can is speculate based on the info given. The OP should simply move on. Edited September 1, 2020 by ssm617
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