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Ex reached out to me. what now?

Mth185

By Mth185
in Dating

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While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

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Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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... And now you go no contact.

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dangerous Established Member

dangerous

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OP, your last two posts make full sense. You have got over the pain of the break-up, do not open it up again. Move on, and cut all ties with her. This time block her fully so she can't "reach out" to you.

Edited by dangerous
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d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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On 8/29/2020 at 7:45 PM, Mth185 said:

As I type this all out, I realize I probably answered my own question. Even though she seems to be in a better place mentally and emotionally now, I don’t think I want to run the risk of going through all of that again. 

Is the mother still alive?  I don't mean to be harsh but if your EX's mom hasn't died, you will go through worse when then inevitable happens.  

kismetkismet Established Member

kismetkismet

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I think she needs time to sort herself out. It sounds like she's having trouble coping with her feelings and jumping from one situation to the next to try to avoid facing things head on. She may have been asking for so much assurance when  you were together because she thought that you/the relationship could fix all of her pain somehow. And now she's launching herself into new relationships/emotional situations hoping that the next big change will solve it all. The fact that her current relationship is also tumultuous makes it seem like she's probably putting that pressure on the new guy as well. 

What she really needs is to just sit with the pain and work through it.. other people can't fix it for her. Getting back together with her would be bad for both of you. 

OnlyHonesty Established Member

OnlyHonesty

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On 8/29/2020 at 12:23 AM, Mth185 said:

Improved myself mentally, physically and emotionally

I’d be open to the idea of reconnecting at this point

Above are incompatible with each other. I suggest you continue on the road of self improvement and avoid making the same mistakes. Her contacting you again is just a test to see if you really have learned, improved, and become emotionally better.

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