QuietRiot Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 (edited) I was talking to a lady friend of mine. She told me when she broke up with her b/f that she purposely dated an hour or so outside of the city to avoid the awkwardness of her putting herself out there and accidentally running into an ex. She said she purposely did it to spare his feelings as he was still hurt. Perhaps you've avoided social media posts of you and your new g/f/b/f because your ex may see them? Edited August 28, 2020 by QuietRiot
kendahke Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 No. Their feelings are for them to manage, not me. I never add who I'm dating to any of my social media in the first place to avoid them stalking me if it doesn't work out.
kismetkismet Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 Yep, in one situation I did. I started dating my now-husband only a month or so after my ex and I finished things for the final time. My ex and I split amicably, but I knew he wasn't fully over it, so out of respect for his feelings I held off posting about the relationship for a few months. I also had a lot of his friends on social media, and I knew I wouldn't like it much if I were in HIS position. I'm not that active on social media anyway, so it probably wasn't that noticeable. It depends on the breakup as well.
basil67 Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 Last time I started over was before social media was a thing. So to spare any awkwardness, I told the ex that I'd moved on.
Wiseman2 Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 19 minutes ago, QuietRiot said: I was talking to a lady friend of mine. She told me when she broke up with her b/f that she purposely dated an hour or so outside of the city to avoid the awkwardness of her putting herself out there and accidentally running into an ex. She said she purposely did it to spare his feelings as he was still hurt. Perhaps you've avoided social media posts of you and your new g/f/b/f because your ex may see them? It's best to be yourself. Neither display nor avoid. In fact people should be pretty much over/neutral about their exes when they start dating again.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 I’ve never altered my dating life to accommodate an ex’s feelings, no. The most I did was let one ex know I’d met someone else, simply because he continued to try to get in touch and ask me out (this was before smartphones and social media)
CLS63AMG Posted August 29, 2020 Posted August 29, 2020 Worst was coming out of a victorias secret with 3 bags full of lingerie with my then new girlfriend and running directly into my ex LOL. I felt so bad it wasn't funny, she was with her friend having coffee and wasn't looking very happy to begin with.
Lotsgoingon Posted August 29, 2020 Posted August 29, 2020 No, that way lies disaster. The ex is still controlling you if you go out of your way to avoid seeing him or you're worried about his feelings. And to back up a step, you should be dating anyone in the first place who would drop dead if they saw you out with someone else. People feel hurt and that's fine. Learning that my ex had a new man in her life helped me speed up the process of letting her go, sped up the process of me not caring about her and rejoining my life and having a blast doing so. That's codependent to worry about an ex's feelings. Why not worry about a sibling's feelings if you're going to make more money than they do? You gonna turn down a high-paying job to avoid hurting a sibling's feelings. Now if the ex was/is a violent person ... then that's different. Heartache doesn't kill people.
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