Lara_16 Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 (edited) I met a guy about 1 month and half ago and since then we are inseparable. We talk all day and he drives a long way just to see me. He says that he sees us in a formal relationship. Until, yesterday i found out that he slept with his coworker 2 or 3 times and apparently they keep doing it since she lives only like 5 minutes away from him and i live so far. Also, seems that she has romantic feelings for him but he told me that he does not feel that way for her. I know we are not in a committed relationship and we have only know each other for a short period of time. I do not know if i am overreacting but what happens is that knowing that she has romantic feelings for him is killing me. Edited August 28, 2020 by Lara_16
Wiseman2 Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 As long as he is seeing his co-worker, it's not an exclusive relationship. You need to decide why you are settling for this if you actually want a BF. 4
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 3 minutes ago, Lara_16 said: I met a guy about 21month and half ago and since then we are inseparable. We talk all day I would argue you're not inseparable if he's finding time to have sex with someone else. Have YOU had sex with him? Why are you allowing yourself to be treated this way? 5
schlumpy Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 Get tested for STDs. You are worried there may be feelings involved but you aren't concerned about the sex? It's just sex? Amazing. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 This guy is a bit shady, OP. I say that because he knows this other woman likes him, he doesn't feel that way about her, but he continues to sleep with her anyway. Not something a gentleman does. How did you find out about this, anyway? Further, you're not inseparable if he's finding time to sleep with her. You really shouldn't be inseparable after such a short time anyway, but my point is that you're taking this more seriously than he is. I think you need to take a step back and ask yourself if this guy is really what you're looking for in a boyfriend. 4
kismetkismet Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 Nope, no thank you. I get that you're not technically exclusive, but after 6 weeks of regular dates it's shady that he's having regular casual sex with someone that is deeply entwined at his work. Even if you decide this is ok and he agrees to stop (has he agreed to stop?) he's still going to see her at work all the time, and she's still always going to be conveniently 5 mins away... Will you be able to live with that? 2
FudgeSwirl Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 Your relationship isn't going in a good direction even without the "Are we exclusive?" talk. Never settle for less. 1
introverted1 Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 Just read your thread title out loud a few times. Imagine your sister or best friend or daughter saying this. Is there really any doubt about the advice you'd give? 1
central Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 Are YOU having sex with him yet? If not, why not? If you're not, and not exclusive, then he's not wrong, but may not be right for you. And if you are, then you can insist that he not have sex with someone else if he wants to continue a relationship with you (or, tell him that if he doesn't want exclusivity with you then you'll easily find other men to sleep with but don't have feelings for).
mark clemson Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 It sounds like you're not cut out for multi-dating, so don't do it would be my suggestion...
kendahke Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 (edited) 17 hours ago, Lara_16 said: I met a guy about 1 month and half ago and since then we are inseparable. We talk all day and he drives a long way just to see me. He says that he sees us in a formal relationship. Until, yesterday i found out that he slept with his coworker 2 or 3 times and apparently they keep doing it since she lives only like 5 minutes away from him and i live so far. Also, seems that she has romantic feelings for him but he told me that he does not feel that way for her. I know we are not in a committed relationship and we have only know each other for a short period of time. I do not know if i am overreacting but what happens is that knowing that she has romantic feelings for him is killing me. he is involved in a sexual relationship with someone else that he hasn't seen fit to give up for you. That's should tell you something loud and clear about how he actually esteems you. Doesn't matter how he feels about her or how she feels about him: they are both having sex and you are patted on the head and sent on your way when the day is over. You're the other woman in all this, not her. He may be grooming you for a 3some set up with her if in 6 weeks time, he can't find a reason to give her up. This is the real him--he doesn't do monogamy very well. I'd give a hard pass to someone who treated me like this off the jump. Edited August 28, 2020 by kendahke 1
Velvet teddy Posted August 29, 2020 Posted August 29, 2020 21 hours ago, Lara_16 said: I met a guy about 1 month and half ago and since then we are inseparable. We talk all day and he drives a long way just to see me. He says that he sees us in a formal relationship. Until, yesterday i found out that he slept with his coworker 2 or 3 times and apparently they keep doing it since she lives only like 5 minutes away from him and i live so far. Also, seems that she has romantic feelings for him but he told me that he does not feel that way for her. I know we are not in a committed relationship and we have only know each other for a short period of time. I do not know if i am overreacting but what happens is that knowing that she has romantic feelings for him is killing me. No you're not overreacting. Ditch this guy. He won't bring anything but more misery to your life. He clearly can't keep it in his pants while he also sees you. Forget him! 1
Watercolors Posted August 29, 2020 Posted August 29, 2020 It sounds like he's already in a committed relationship with his coworker whom he lives 5 minutes away from, and you're just someone he's decided to seek a sexual relationship with also. Have you had sex with him yet? If you have, you should stop and get tested for STD's. 2
BaileyB Posted August 29, 2020 Posted August 29, 2020 I don’t date men who are having sex with other women... 1 1
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