CaliforniaGirl Posted August 27, 2020 Posted August 27, 2020 (edited) 51 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Every older guy on here that has been messed around by an early twenties gf, said "...but she is very mature for her age", that is, until she is obviously not... This..."oh, they seem so mature..." Of course. They're *trying* to seem that way. It's not like they have never heard the 30+ people speak. And being around an older person, they'll pretty much fall into that pattern. But where the rubber hits the road...they may realize that all that stuff they're professing is for the future...not today. Edited August 27, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl 1
ExpatInItaly Posted August 27, 2020 Posted August 27, 2020 2 hours ago, Saartje said: I guess you are right.. I was hesitant to begin with but then he convinced me about his level of maturity bc he comes across like and looks like mature. He's even more mature then some men I dated from my own age, in the sense that he's really goal-oriented in his work, doesn't like to party at all, uses no drugs ett What’s mature about a guy you’ve dated a month asking if you love him? Based on what you’ve written here in this thread, he sounds exactly his age. 3
Watercolors Posted August 27, 2020 Posted August 27, 2020 2 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: What’s mature about a guy you’ve dated a month asking if you love him? Based on what you’ve written here in this thread, he sounds exactly his age. There's huge differences between your 20s and 30s, when it comes to dating. When you're 20-something, you basically just date around to have fun and excitement and casual sex. In your 30s, you are more seriously interested in dating to find 'the one,' so you try to find someone who you are truly compatible with. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted August 27, 2020 Posted August 27, 2020 1 minute ago, Watercolors said: There's huge differences between your 20s and 30s, when it comes to dating. When you're 20-something, you basically just date around to have fun and excitement and casual sex. In your 30s, you are more seriously interested in dating to find 'the one,' so you try to find someone who you are truly compatible with. Well, yes,, that’s exactly my point. This guy doesn’t sound mature for his age. He sounds like what he is: a young 20-something out for a good time, who either has a very immature idea of what “love” is or thinks using the word will help him get laid. 4
Watercolors Posted August 27, 2020 Posted August 27, 2020 58 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Well, yes,, that’s exactly my point. This guy doesn’t sound mature for his age. He sounds like what he is: a young 20-something out for a good time, who either has a very immature idea of what “love” is or thinks using the word will help him get laid. I was agreeing with you Expat I was trying to add on to what you said with my own thoughts. We're on the same page here. The guy that the OP is dating just doesn't seem like he's a good candidate for a long-term relationship. A fling, sure. But something that lasts a couple of years? I don't see it happening based on how he lied to her about being on Tinder, despite the fact that they met at a party. 2
elaine567 Posted August 27, 2020 Posted August 27, 2020 It really all depends what Saartje is looking for.
Mystery4u Posted August 27, 2020 Posted August 27, 2020 6 hours ago, Saartje said: He apologized again and said that he was crazy about me since the first moment he saw me. Think about it. If this was true, and he was crazy about you since the first moment he saw you, why would he EVER go back on Tinder? When us men meet a woman we are actually crazy about, the last thing on our mind is to find another girl. He lied to you again. He will keep saying and doing anything he can to keep you around as an option to sleep with. Your idea of withholding sex will only backfire - it will make him even more determined to find another woman. He is not ready for a relationship the same way you are, simple as that. Find someone else who is. 2 2
Allupinnit Posted August 27, 2020 Posted August 27, 2020 Yeah it sure would be a buzz-rake to see his Tinder in his open tabs right after you've been intimate and laying in bed LOL. Early 20's guys can be fun but ultimately they're a time-waste. And if he's already using the L word I can assure you drama is ahead. 2 1
Logo Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 On 8/26/2020 at 9:09 AM, rjc149 said:Thoughtless swiping. Geeze. Modern dating is so f—ked. I could tell you stories that’ll leave you with your jaw leaving a crater in the ground Might move to Europe where there’s no bs like multi dating, talking about exclusivity as though we’re in highschool “hey you wanna go steady?” and women are far more mature for their age.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 (edited) 3 hours ago, Logo said: Might move to Europe where there’s no bs like multi dating, talking about exclusivity as though we’re in highschool “hey you wanna go steady?” and women are far more mature for their age. I live in Europe, and I can assure you - that does exist to a certain degree here as well. Tinder is as popular here in Italy as it is back home in North America. There are also women (and men) who behave the same way anyone else would in their early 20's - out for a good time, stirring up drama, stumbling their way through life, getting messy and then making it right. Then again, Europe is a highly diverse continent so it's best not to generalize too much! Edited August 28, 2020 by ExpatInItaly 2
Author Saartje Posted August 28, 2020 Author Posted August 28, 2020 Well, this is definitely over. I caught him with a fake profile he 'matched' with and his profile was on 'recently active'. 2 1 2
Wiseman2 Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 2 minutes ago, Saartje said: Well, this is definitely over. I caught him with a fake profile he 'matched' with and his profile was on 'recently active'. Excellent . What a turd
ExpatInItaly Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 19 minutes ago, Saartje said: Well, this is definitely over. I caught him with a fake profile he 'matched' with and his profile was on 'recently active'. Good that you know this now so you don't waste more time on him. Listen to your gut in the future - it was absolutely correct that this guy was sleazy. 2
Mystery4u Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 2 hours ago, Saartje said: Well, this is definitely over. I caught him with a fake profile he 'matched' with and his profile was on 'recently active'. Which we told you would happen as soon as you made this topic. No surprises. 1
Watercolors Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 4 hours ago, Saartje said: Well, this is definitely over. I caught him with a fake profile he 'matched' with and his profile was on 'recently active'. Great! Now you can be rid of that little boy and make yourself available to mature men instead. Please, please stay away from men in their 20s in general. Have higher standards for yourself with the men you date from now on. 1
kismetkismet Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 Glad you caught him and got out now! Did you tell him about the fake profile? Be wary of the early-on love bombers. They're often immature and/or skeezeballs. 2
Logo Posted August 31, 2020 Posted August 31, 2020 (edited) On 8/28/2020 at 7:13 AM, ExpatInItaly said: I live in Europe, and I can assure you - that does exist to a certain degree here as well. Tinder is as popular here in Italy as it is back home in North America. There are also women (and men) who behave the same way anyone else would in their early 20's - out for a good time, stirring up drama, stumbling their way through life, getting messy and then making it right. Then again, Europe is a highly diverse continent so it's best not to generalize too much! I never referred to Tinder in my post nor did I refer to “casual” encounters. I was referring to dating in romantic relationships, to wit, exclusivity. Your response took my comment, put words in my mouth and posted it within an entirely different framework. Yes, I know how things are in Italy, or France, or Germany, Holland, Britain, Ireland, Norway, Finland, Denmark, Sweden, Spain or Belgium. And the exclusivity talk is certainly a North American phenomenon. Edited August 31, 2020 by Logo 1
Velvet teddy Posted August 31, 2020 Posted August 31, 2020 On 8/28/2020 at 1:49 PM, Saartje said: Well, this is definitely over. I caught him with a fake profile he 'matched' with and his profile was on 'recently active'. Despite my shock reaction. Its really not a shock at all. He's a fake. Unfortunately there are many fakes around OLD. Next time if you catch someone in a lie. Don't give them a second chance.
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