QuietRiot Posted August 26, 2020 Posted August 26, 2020 I was talking to some friends that had been doing online dating lately...and they were amazed by the amount of people that put little effort into their conversations...should they even reply. Like they find that they always have to carry the conversations and the person responding is monosyllabic in their responses. Un-engaging. Conversations fizzle like a fart in the wind. Of course, dating profiles seems to mirror that these days, too. With "Just ask" or "Ask me" in their profile descriptions or if you go to Match...blank profiles with only the drop-downs chosen and/or the basic canned answers to the questions Match provides. That's it. Why do you think this is?
Wiseman2 Posted August 26, 2020 Posted August 26, 2020 Why do you spend so much time perusing Match, but never date anyone from there or sign up? You seem to be analyzing the drop down menus. If you want to date, get on free apps or pay for Match. If you want to communicate with someone on a dating apps, send a brief message then start suggesting meeting up. 5
Author QuietRiot Posted August 26, 2020 Author Posted August 26, 2020 (edited) 40 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Why do you spend so much time perusing Match, but never date anyone from there or sign up? You seem to be analyzing the drop down menus. If you want to date, get on free apps or pay for Match. If you want to communicate with someone on a dating apps, send a brief message then start suggesting meeting up. I have been a member of Match, twice. Even dated a couple of women from there. I've done the online dating before. Not sure where you got the idea that I don't. Anyways, this is the results of my experience with those sites. Edited August 26, 2020 by QuietRiot
elaine567 Posted August 26, 2020 Posted August 26, 2020 Some spend their lives online, so never really have to communicate verbally. Their knowledge is based on knowing where to find info rather than actually knowing things and being able to converse. There is no real need to remember stuff as it can all be checked or reread at a click. Some spend so much time gaming or on social media or on Netflix, that their core knowledge is lacking, so they quickly run out of things to say. 2 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted August 30, 2020 Posted August 30, 2020 IMO, if she doesn't want to talk to you...she just isn't feeling it. 2 2
LuckyM Posted September 3, 2020 Posted September 3, 2020 My experience is that people who won't talk much in business or socially do not care. Not really interested to talk or message. Or They have so many contacts that they don't want to spend time or effort. This happens to me a lot especially with business contacts. Brief impolite answers as if every word costs money. This is apathy. If you are not special or the one they want they assume there are plenty more also. This is universal indifference and boredom. 1
alphamale Posted September 3, 2020 Posted September 3, 2020 if they do this while meeting you in person i would assume they don't care for you and want to extricate themselves from the situation. i myself have used this ... 4
chillii Posted September 3, 2020 Posted September 3, 2020 l noticed it back in my brief online days too. But l'm all about personality and anyone that's gonna interest me was going to show something in a reply and the best always did. But there were quite a few of those one or two worded bs things too and l'd just think just wtf, talking women in their 40s here and what, that's all they could come up with, they got zapped l just couldn't be bothered with them.
Weezy1973 Posted September 3, 2020 Posted September 3, 2020 It was never a big deal when I was OLD. I skipped the minimalist profiles and stopped talking to people if the conversation was only one way. There were always more options so no need to waste my time or energy. Not sure why people would even care about these things. Move on. Next. 4
Mysterio Posted September 3, 2020 Posted September 3, 2020 Conversation is everything. I can't do with out it. I evaluate women on how they talk and converse with me. As I am growing older. I find most people have a hard time having conversations that they can go around the horn with. Thats why my in-town friends. I would rather see them in person, than have e-mails and texts. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted September 3, 2020 Posted September 3, 2020 On 8/26/2020 at 3:06 AM, QuietRiot said: I was talking to some friends that had been doing online dating lately...and they were amazed by the amount of people that put little effort into their conversations...should they even reply. Like they find that they always have to carry the conversations and the person responding is monosyllabic in their responses. Un-engaging. Conversations fizzle like a fart in the wind. Of course, dating profiles seems to mirror that these days, too. With "Just ask" or "Ask me" in their profile descriptions or if you go to Match...blank profiles with only the drop-downs chosen and/or the basic canned answers to the questions Match provides. That's it. Why do you think this is? Like who? Are you talking people you're romantically interested in, but don't have a date with? Because they don't even know you, and one-word answers, though they CAN just mean iffy social skills, nervousness or a quiet personality, often can just mean they aren't that interested in getting to know the person better. 1
Author QuietRiot Posted September 3, 2020 Author Posted September 3, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Like who? Are you talking people you're romantically interested in, but don't have a date with? Because they don't even know you, and one-word answers, though they CAN just mean iffy social skills, nervousness or a quiet personality, often can just mean they aren't that interested in getting to know the person better. This is just a common experience and a common complaint with both genders on pretty much all dating platforms these days. The little effort they put into profiles is an indicator on the apathy and the lack of effort they are willing to put into dating. Laziness. There is a woman I know in my area that answered a canned question only that Match provides, "Beach or Mountain" she answered, "Beach in the mountains!" and that's it. No effort into telling a inkling about themselves and/or what they are looking for in a partner. I know her, and she's pretty much a chatty cathy. lol The "don't even know you" is not even irrelevant. Edited September 3, 2020 by QuietRiot
Weezy1973 Posted September 3, 2020 Posted September 3, 2020 30 minutes ago, QuietRiot said: The little effort they put into profiles is an indicator on the apathy and the lack of effort they are willing to put into dating. Laziness. But this is the beauty of OLD. You can skip the lazy profiles! Or skip any profile that doesn’t strike your fancy! Problem solved; frustration alleviated! 4 1
Author QuietRiot Posted September 3, 2020 Author Posted September 3, 2020 (edited) 8 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said: But this is the beauty of OLD. You can skip the lazy profiles! Or skip any profile that doesn’t strike your fancy! Problem solved; frustration alleviated! Oh yeah, that's right! lol. Anyways, I think the complaint is, people are seeing more and more of them, so if you skip all of them, it leaves you with less options. Therein lies the frustration. If 80% of the people put no effort in profiles that show up in your area, you only have 20% to choose from. Edited September 3, 2020 by QuietRiot
basil67 Posted September 3, 2020 Posted September 3, 2020 Which brings me back to my theory that those who spend years on OLD aren't worth dating. They either don't have much to offer or want too much.
elaine567 Posted September 4, 2020 Posted September 4, 2020 11 hours ago, QuietRiot said: There is a woman I know in my area that answered a canned question only that Match provides, "Beach or Mountain" she answered, "Beach in the mountains!" and that's it. I guess that was a joke no? An attempt at humour?
Author QuietRiot Posted September 4, 2020 Author Posted September 4, 2020 3 hours ago, elaine567 said: I guess that was a joke no? An attempt at humour? It was a slight chuckle, but doesn't excuse the fact that she was one of many that just doesn't want to talk about themselves nor say what their match is in their profile. It was just an example. No need to split hairs.
elaine567 Posted September 4, 2020 Posted September 4, 2020 I guess many older women do not want to be too specific, else they put off the men who are interested and who may prove to be serious matches. 1
ZA Dater Posted September 4, 2020 Posted September 4, 2020 On ‎8‎/‎26‎/‎2020 at 12:06 PM, QuietRiot said: I was talking to some friends that had been doing online dating lately...and they were amazed by the amount of people that put little effort into their conversations...should they even reply. Like they find that they always have to carry the conversations and the person responding is monosyllabic in their responses. Un-engaging. Conversations fizzle like a fart in the wind. Of course, dating profiles seems to mirror that these days, too. With "Just ask" or "Ask me" in their profile descriptions or if you go to Match...blank profiles with only the drop-downs chosen and/or the basic canned answers to the questions Match provides. That's it. Why do you think this is? My theory on this is simple, they don't want to invest when there is another match, another date to be had, much you its easy to go and buy fruit its very easy for many women to line up a different date even evening. This was NOT the case before the advent of social media dating, some social interaction was required and even then, I know someone who has 4000 matches, you would never realistically meet 4000 people.
basil67 Posted September 4, 2020 Posted September 4, 2020 11 hours ago, QuietRiot said: It was a slight chuckle, but doesn't excuse the fact that she was one of many that just doesn't want to talk about themselves nor say what their match is in their profile. It was just an example. No need to split hairs. They will open up when they find someone they want to open up to. Or, they aren't able to have a conversation. Either way, she's not someone you want to date.....so just move on and look elsewhere. 2 1
gaius Posted September 5, 2020 Posted September 5, 2020 If I had to guess, your friends stink at conversation. They can't find a topic compelling enough to capture attention and elicit an interested response. Back in the day others might have felt the need to respond just to be polite but it's not like that anymore.
jspice Posted September 5, 2020 Posted September 5, 2020 6 hours ago, basil67 said: They will open up when they find someone they want to open up to. Or, they aren't able to have a conversation. Either way, she's not someone you want to date.....so just move on and look elsewhere. Right?! I don’t understand why he doesn’t just move on
chillii Posted September 5, 2020 Posted September 5, 2020 7 hours ago, basil67 said: They will open up when they find someone they want to open up to. Or, they aren't able to have a conversation. Either way, she's not someone you want to date.....so just move on and look elsewhere. Yeah exactly . Unless someone is painfully shy,,, in person you shouldn't have to carry anything if there's anything there it will all take care of itself. 1
Author QuietRiot Posted September 5, 2020 Author Posted September 5, 2020 POF is loaded with both men and women that just have "Just ask " or "Ask me" in their profile descriptions and that's it.
elaine567 Posted September 5, 2020 Posted September 5, 2020 26 minutes ago, QuietRiot said: POF is loaded with both men and women that just have "Just ask " or "Ask me" in their profile descriptions and that's it. So if you are interested go ahead and ask, if not then don't bother. If she is monosyllabic then pass, or just take the hint. Some people are private people they don't want to post stuff about themselves for everyone and anyone to read. Some I guess are mortified they even have to go on OLD at their age, so instead of judging people you do not know then I suggest you at least try to get to know them. How difficult is it to simply send a message? She replies great, she doesn't reply, move on.. 3
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