Tarran Haynes Posted August 25, 2020 Posted August 25, 2020 Dating has been pretty rocky for me. I’ve met many people but had no luck ongoing for long-term relationships. That’s why I’m thinking of trying for this dating agency Manchester based to see how my luck would go for this. But before I do so, can you share some tips on how can I stay away from dating scam? What are the red flags I should look out for? Thanks in advance!
d0nnivain Posted August 25, 2020 Posted August 25, 2020 By definition anything you have to pay for has some potential for scam. I would not use the agency. Instead read some books on dating (not the PUA stuff). Polish up all your interactive skills -- friendship, business networking etc. Work on your self confidence. Those skills will help you long term in many areas of your life, not just dating. 1
balletomane Posted August 25, 2020 Posted August 25, 2020 Manchester has just gone into lockdown again. Even if the dating agency is legit, it's not the best time to be parting with money, as you won't be able to meet people in person. I know the city very well (lived there for five years) and as it's generally so vibrant and with so much going on I think it would be more sensible for you to wait until lockdown eases again and then spend your money on social and cultural events. In the meantime you could see what virtual events are happening with Zoom etc. 1
Amanda141 Posted August 25, 2020 Posted August 25, 2020 Hello! I live in Manchester. Rather than using a dating agency, I would suggest using dating apps or websites. I used Tinder and Bumble, and if you are young they are the best. If you are older, I would suggest OkCupid or Match.com The city is very big and I think there are a lot of opportunities 1
smackie9 Posted August 25, 2020 Posted August 25, 2020 I suggest you invest in a life coach. They help you with self improvement, appearance, confidence, life enhancement. Once you get yourself all aglow, you will draw the right people to you. 3
Versacehottie Posted August 25, 2020 Posted August 25, 2020 Lots of great suggestions--all of the things above would probably be more successful or just as good as any agency. Here's the thing, if a person is single and looking and worthy, they probably don't have to pay to use an expensive agency (which is kind of outdated way). I'm not saying that to represent you--you are saying you are slightly inexperienced and figuring out methods and strategies to best date. Think about it--who would use an agency: guys who are either really inexperienced or not worthy or both, so in that respect what you will find there is not typically worth your time with so many other easy (cheap/free) ways to meet people (minus COVID times in which nothing is easy, let's face it). I have one friend who worked at one of the the most prestigious of these match matching agencies in all of US. While not a scam, she even said the people pay crazy amounts of money (i mean crazy) to meet matches that are truly no better of a fit than what you can figure out online or with an app. I don't think they inherently mean to be scamming and the intentions are good but it just doesn't work in the environment where you can get the same thing for almost free. The one thing she said is that obviously most of the guys had money because it was so expensive (but they were also socially awkward time 100 than the normal guy, usually workaholics who hadn't dated much if at all). Another acquaintance USED an agency and basically had no more luck than she does in life & on apps & setups through friends. It was still really expensive $5k-10k vs $100k. They acted like they were giving her curated matches that she should have a lot in common with and be attracted to and all that but it was no better than some random on eharmony lol. And the dates were few and far between (which to me meant that they don't have inventory to give her dates because truthfully everyone looking is doing it online & naturally). So it was a waste of time & money. I set her up with a guy that was a better match than ANYone she ever met from there (it still didn't work out though--she blew the date by talking about superficial stuff & being uptight & he wasn't impressed with that & overall; she is VERY ambitious and turns people off with that & he is very successful so they had that in common & sense of humor & both good looking but I think he likes a warmer personality & she tends to put her foot in her mouth socially sometimes/too often). That agency wasn't a scam either--she got what she paid for--it just wasn't successful so I think there is an expectation with an agency they will have some magic touch & i don't think that is true at the moment. So I agree with the others--lockdown makes it hard but use more conventional ways of finding guys (because that's where the VOLUME/MAJORITY) will be. While you are in lockdown in manchester work on all your interpersonal stuff & confidence so that you are in a good headspace when you are actually able to date. Good luck 1
Ami1uwant Posted August 25, 2020 Posted August 25, 2020 I accept money..... who sre you dating? If these are face to face meeting why are they scams?
d0nnivain Posted August 25, 2020 Posted August 25, 2020 (edited) I tried using a dating service many years ago in the 90s, before OLD when the personals in the back pages of newspapers & magazines were taboo. I took some scantron test & it asked me Qs: was I open to dating outside my race; was I open to a man with less education than me; was I open to a man who did X, Y, or Z. I picked the most restrictive answers on most & the "counselor" who probably only had a HS diploma & whatever orientation they gave her told me I was being too rigid & I should be so picky. I explained that I was happy to be open minded when talking to somebody I met at a bar, in real life, or as a set up through friends but the fact that I was paying this service, I felt entitled be picky, to hold out for the cream of the crop because I was a high value woman: well educated, financially savvy; good job; tall, thin, child bearing age; & generally considered "hot." I ended up not paying them & demanding that they give me my scantron records back because I didn't want them misusing them. I was fairly paranoid back then. All in all it left a bad taste in my mouth. I need more then a picture & bio to determine a connection. I didn't do very well on OLD years later either. Most dating services really don't do more than what you can do yourself through OLD. If you are paying for some high end deal like what was portrayed on the reality television show, Millionaire Matchmaker, that would be one thing, because you get dating advice, wardrobe guidance, input about date planning & a post date analysis. But for just some list of names, save your money, Edited August 25, 2020 by d0nnivain
kendahke Posted August 25, 2020 Posted August 25, 2020 (edited) 8 hours ago, Tarran Haynes said: Dating has been pretty rocky for me. I’ve met many people but had no luck ongoing for long-term relationships. That’s why I’m thinking of trying for this dating agency Manchester based to see how my luck would go for this. But before I do so, can you share some tips on how can I stay away from dating scam? What are the red flags I should look out for? Thanks in advance! God! I love Manchester!!!! Visited there about 4 years ago and Mancunians are a lovely lot!!! With agencies, sometimes, they've got way more women than they do men, so you may be paying for something and waiting a really long time for a viable match. They're not going to tell you that they have to go out and scour bars to find guys who they will let join the agency for free so that they can up their male count. I went through a matchmaking agency way back in the day and my date told me that's how he was with them. Dating apps have their drawbacks--IME, these are what you have to look out for on apps: Look out for guys love bombing you--being way too intimately attached before the involvement has the legs to stand on that. Look out for guys who say they're from one area but have an accent that isn't found in that area... and I'm not talking splitting hairs on dialects.. the one scammer I dealt with claimed he was from the UK, but he had an accent that sounded nothing like an English accent. He actually was from Ghana. Look out for guys not wanting to meet you in person, but instead, want to turn you into an electronic pen pal. Look out for anyone who says they're an engineer working on an oil rig or are in the Philippines or some other far flung area of the globe. Look out for someone who claims he's a widower with a child who doesn't live with him. Look out for someone who right before you are to meet in person suddenly has an accident or got nabbed at the airport for unpaid duty or taxes and wants you to wire them money via western union. Those are the main things that I've had first hand experience with. Edited August 25, 2020 by kendahke 1
lana-banana Posted August 25, 2020 Posted August 25, 2020 (edited) It seems to me like using an agency means you're much less likely to be scammed. I thought agencies actually went out and met (or perhaps in this area, did video conferencing) and did simple background checks on their clients? Isn't that what you're paying for? At any rate, you've already received a lot of good advice. Anyone love-bombing you immediately is a bad sign. Don't trust people who make excuses for why they can't video chat or otherwise confirm they are who they say they are. People who postpone any sort of face-to-face chat but instead spend hours writing you over-the-top love letters are likely to be scammers. Anyone who seems too interested in documentation---whether that's immigration paperwork, IDs, etc---should also make you suspicious. (Ask yourself: if I give them this information, what could they do with it?) And absolutely do not send anyone money, ever. Edited August 25, 2020 by lana-banana
d0nnivain Posted August 25, 2020 Posted August 25, 2020 Just now, lana-banana said: It seems to me like using an agency means you're much less likely to be scammed. I thought agencies actually went out and met (or perhaps in this area, did video conferencing) and did simple background checks on their clients? Isn't that what you're paying for? If the fee included this type of screening I'd say it's a high end place. I doubt most do though.
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