JasonLevi Posted August 24, 2020 Posted August 24, 2020 Summary of our relationship: I met Alicia (not real name) through online dating in January 2020. We dated a few times; sometimes she planned a date, sometimes I did. I went for a kiss after a few dates, and she froze and blushed. Given that we're not teenagers, I found that strange. Then on our next date, she said she had not had a partner in a long time hence why she may seem distant. I kissed her on the lips, but she again just froze. During the lockdown, we messaged each other and then agreed to meet. We went on some more dates in the park, and when I went for a kiss she did not really respond but did not pull back. She hugged me, held my hand etc. She often asked about my past relationships, and I answered. Then last month, she asked me back to her place. I did not try to kiss her again (other than when a peck on the lips to say hello), because I wanted her to feel safe. Then, the second time we were at her place, on her bed (fully clothed), I asked her why she froze when I went for a kiss. She said that she did not like public signs of affection, but also that she was not sure how she felt about me romantically. She said she did not feel attracted on our first date, but when I kissed her a few dates in, she felt attracted to me, but now she was not sure. She said I was the first guy she brought back to her place. Yet, she had sexual relationships with a couple of guys when she was in her late teens and early 20s. I suggested we be friends before she said anything, largely because I was a little hurt. She cried, and then said that she agreed. She seemed okay after. Break up and getting back together: After a miserable week thinking about how much I liked her, I asked to meet her again. We met in the park and I told her how I felt and that I wanted to be more than friends, but that if she felt she could not be with me, then I would obviously accept her decision. She said she felt comfortable around me and that while she did not feel 100% romantically interested, she felt her attraction for me could grow, if we kept dating as we had been. That was last week. Dating profile: During our last two chats, I had told her that I took my dating profile down pretty early on, and had not dated anyone since we had been together and she said she did the same. Since our last chat, I still wasn't sure whether she really saw any future for us. We are compatible in nearly all respects, but I suspect it's just the lack of physical attraction on her part. My friend uses the same dating site we used and, in a moment of silliness, I asked him to search for someone with Alicia's description and, there she was. She still has her online dating profile, and it's her original profile so she never deleted it. Keep in mind that she rarely wants to see me more than once a week, and she has never tried to kiss me. Her active dating profile has confirmed to me that this is a dead end, but I need a second opinion. Your views: Please give me your views and how I should end it (I plan on being gentle and honest about it).
Wiseman2 Posted August 24, 2020 Posted August 24, 2020 3 minutes ago, JasonLevi said: I suggested we be friends before she said anything You could tell her 'you're not a match", or that you wish to be more than friends, or just stop asking her out and fade away. In the meantime start dating again. She is simply too wishywashy.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 24, 2020 Posted August 24, 2020 I would part ways here. She’s not really feeling it. You would be better served by pursuing women who don’t have any doubts about whether they’re attracted to you. 1
Recommended Posts