Yinyangblondie Posted August 24, 2020 Posted August 24, 2020 As the title says, my bf is friends with his ex’s mom. We’ve been together for over a year. He doesn’t keep in contact with his ex but does and has kept contact with the mom, they text back n forth n few times per week (I have no idea what the subject matter of their conversations is, I just know that they do keep in contact because my bf told me so). The mom lives a couple hours away. They had a death in the family n my bf went to see the mom n stayed the night there. She also plans to come stay at my bfs house in a few weeks because she’s in town & it’s a convenient place to stay. I don’t think she even knows of my existence to be honest (I’m not sure, but that’s my opinion). My bf always says how nice she is & I jokingly said “can’t wait to meet her” (when she’s in town in a couple weeks). I didn’t actually mean that I want to meet her but his response kinda bothered me. He said “no way you’re meeting her, that’s weird”. This whole situation makes me feel uncomfortable. I don’t feel comfortable talking to him about it because if he genuinely has the desire to be this close to his ex’s mom that’s out of my control and it just is what it is. Am I crazy to feel uncomfortable about this?
Wiseman2 Posted August 24, 2020 Posted August 24, 2020 Where does his ex live? Why is he so close to the family? Are you sure he's being upfront with you?
Author Yinyangblondie Posted August 24, 2020 Author Posted August 24, 2020 2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Where does his ex live? Why is he so close to the family? Are you sure he's being upfront with you? His ex lives out of state, on the other coast. His reasoning is her mom is just super nice. I think he’s being honest, he’s never tried to hide his relationship with his ex’s mom. I just am not sure of the motive behind continuing this friendship post break up. That’s the part that makes me feel uncomfortable.
smackie9 Posted August 24, 2020 Posted August 24, 2020 (edited) Well hopefully it's a mom and son like relationship haha (joking). I don't see anything wrong with it TBH. But his reaction needs further questioning....you should have jumped right then and there and said "omg...you haven't told her about me have you?" Communication is and will always be your answer. You need to have a conversation with him simple as that. Talk to him. Edited August 24, 2020 by smackie9 2
kendahke Posted August 24, 2020 Posted August 24, 2020 (edited) 4 hours ago, Yinyangblondie said: He said “no way you’re meeting her, that’s weird”. That was your shot across the bow. If you and he have been together for over a year, then there is no reason why he shouldn't introduce you to her. Question is: why is he keeping you a secret from someone who really no longer has a dog in this hunt? Is her daughter emotionally unstable? Is she? Edited August 24, 2020 by kendahke 3
ssm617 Posted August 24, 2020 Posted August 24, 2020 I knew a woman that once lived with her ex boyfriend's parents. While I thought that was unusual, it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. I would have a bigger with problem with him not wanting you to meet his ex's mom. The OP should talk with him about that.
Gaeta Posted August 24, 2020 Posted August 24, 2020 I see nothing wrong with their friendship. When we divorced my ex-h continued having an undying respect for my father and continued visiting my parents. My ex-h had lost his own father young and my father became the older man he needed to look up to. That being said you need to address why he's not introducing you to her. I see nothing weird with it. I've been keeping in touch with my ex in-laws for 20 years, and while on a trip in their region this summer I introduced to them my boyfriend. They were very happy to meet him. Now let me make this even weirder. My ex-husband died and I was given the legal custody of the daughter he had with the woman he was with after me. My boyfriend is fully embracing his new role, we both raise her and it means having regular contact and visits with my ex-h family. All this is done with respect in harmony.
Wiseman2 Posted August 24, 2020 Posted August 24, 2020 6 hours ago, Yinyangblondie said: As the title says, my bf is friends with his ex’s mom. We’ve been together for over a year. It's definitely a bit weird. How is everything else in the relationship? How is his relationship with his family? Has he met your family?
kismetkismet Posted August 25, 2020 Posted August 25, 2020 A couple questions: How long was he with the ex, were they married, and how old are they? If this is his ex-MIL and he was with his ex wife for many years then it's not that weird. My husband's parents are divorced and his mom's mom is still close with his dad and step-mom. However, everyone is friends in this situation and there are grandchildren involved. If it's just someone he dated and they're quite young, then it's definitely weird to me. And what is undeniably uncool is that the ex's mom doesn't know you exist and he thinks that it's weird to introduce you two. Keeping your gf of a year a secret from anyone is suspicious and strange.
stillafool Posted August 25, 2020 Posted August 25, 2020 (edited) On 8/24/2020 at 10:48 AM, smackie9 said: Well hopefully it's a mom and son like relationship haha (joking). I don't see anything wrong with it TBH. This is along the lines of what I was thinking except I'm not joking. There are a lot of older women having sex with guys young enough to be their sons. Edited August 25, 2020 by stillafool 3
Haerts Posted August 26, 2020 Posted August 26, 2020 On 8/24/2020 at 11:26 PM, Yinyangblondie said: He said “no way you’re meeting her, that’s weird”. This whole situation makes me feel uncomfortable. I don’t feel comfortable talking to him about it because if he genuinely has the desire to be this close to his ex’s mom that’s out of my control and it just is what it is. Am I crazy to feel uncomfortable about this? You're definitely not being crazy. You've been with him for over one year, that should be enough time for everyone in his life to know about you and vice versa, or at least the most important people/the ones who he's often in touch with. There's a chance she doesn't know about you and perhaps that's why he's feeling uncomfortable. The best solution anyway is to talk to him about this. It is making you uncomfortable and you should address this to prevent it from becoming bigger than what it really is. Just have a chill and nice talk with him and bring up what you're worried about.
d0nnivain Posted September 28, 2020 Posted September 28, 2020 Could this mom be the owner / source of the nipple cover you found in the car? All of my EXs were friendly with my parents & vice versa in that if out & about they would all say hello & make small talk for a few minutes but the idea that your guy, who is young enough to be her son, is still talking to an EX's mom sounds like the plot of a day time TV show like Maury. 1
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