SmokeHHH Posted August 23, 2020 Share Posted August 23, 2020 Hello guys! The story: There is a girl I like. She got out of her relationship some time ago(2 months+). We have been friends for 2 years but she was in a relationship so i couldn't make moves with her. We started bonding lately(we had some common work to do but we are done with that). We decided to go on a mountain trip in September. We talked on the 16th of this month for about 6 hrs about the destination of the trip and so on. On the 19 we talked for 4 more hours to iron out the details. I don't know if she is into me or not tho. The thing that makes me think she likes me is that we will sleep into the same room(same bed) while we staying there and I made a joke about us going together and she said ok. Sadly tho I have to bring a friend and his brother since I am not yet good enough at driving to take my car there(I am way too scared to drive such a long distance as a beginner). Since the 19th tho we didn't talk at all(other than 2 memes I sent her). The big problem that i have is that we live in different cities and due to covid we can't see one another soon. Soooo, my question is: how should I continue with the texting game? Should I keep approaching her and make up reasons for us to talk? Should I wait for her to initiate so I don't maybe look desperate? It would be much easier if I knew how she feels about me but sadly it would be too weird to talk about that until our trip. Any tips are welcomed. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 23, 2020 Share Posted August 23, 2020 4 minutes ago, SmokeHHH said: Should I keep approaching her and make up reasons for us to talk? Should I wait for her to initiate so I don't maybe look desperate? It would be much easier if I knew how she feels about me but sadly it would be too weird to talk about that until our trip. Any tips are welcomed. Contact her once a day or so with something interesting about the trip or your common interests, however don't text too much . The key is to keep it interesting and wanting/brief so you avoid the penpal or friend zone. Be the one to wrap up the convos with 'gotta go talk to you tomorrow.' 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 23, 2020 Share Posted August 23, 2020 Those are very long conversations to plan a trip! Be sure to not overwhelm her. How far away are the mountains? Being too afraid to drive there isn't really a good look for a man.....what scares you so much you have to bring friends? This may have turned her off. My 19 year old daughter just drove to the mountains alone without fear.....and she has an anxiety disorder. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 23, 2020 Share Posted August 23, 2020 (edited) Also, is she staying in a room with just you three guys? Does she know the other two? Most women would not find that arrangement appealing, especially if she did not know the other two guys.... Edited August 23, 2020 by CautiouslyOptimistic 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 23, 2020 Share Posted August 23, 2020 47 minutes ago, SmokeHHH said: Soooo, my question is: how should I continue with the texting game? Should I keep approaching her and make up reasons for us to talk? Should I wait for her to initiate so I don't maybe look desperate? It would be much easier if I knew how she feels about me but sadly it would be too weird to talk about that until our trip. I know texting is the preferred method of communication among your generation but it's a HORRIBLE way to communicate. You want to step things up, get permission to call her & have an actual conversation using your voice, or better yet a video platform. Don't smother her but do call to discuss the trip. You can start by sending her a quick text like "Hey, our trip is getting closer. Are you excited?" When she responds after a few exchanges ask if you can call 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmokeHHH Posted August 24, 2020 Author Share Posted August 24, 2020 9 hours ago, CautiouslyOptimistic said: Also, is she staying in a room with just you three guys? Does she know the other two? Most women would not find that arrangement appealing, especially if she did not know the other two guys.... We will be taking 2 rooms. Me and her in one and my 2 friends in the other. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmokeHHH Posted August 24, 2020 Author Share Posted August 24, 2020 9 hours ago, CautiouslyOptimistic said: Those are very long conversations to plan a trip! Be sure to not overwhelm her. How far away are the mountains? Being too afraid to drive there isn't really a good look for a man.....what scares you so much you have to bring friends? This may have turned her off. My 19 year old daughter just drove to the mountains alone without fear.....and she has an anxiety disorder. I was fine when it comes to driving and really I was able to drive harder roads but I had an accident(cause by some idiot who tried to overtake at the wrong time and hit me) and since then I am rather afraid to drive on any roads for the matter. I didn't get badly injured but man... my hands are shaking even writing about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 24, 2020 Share Posted August 24, 2020 5 hours ago, SmokeHHH said: I was fine when it comes to driving and really I was able to drive harder roads but I had an accident(cause by some idiot who tried to overtake at the wrong time and hit me) and since then I am rather afraid to drive on any roads for the matter. I didn't get badly injured but man... my hands are shaking even writing about it. How long ago was this? Being in an accident definitely shakes your confidence for a while, even if it wasn't your fault at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmokeHHH Posted August 24, 2020 Author Share Posted August 24, 2020 1 hour ago, CautiouslyOptimistic said: How long ago was this? Being in an accident definitely shakes your confidence for a while, even if it wasn't your fault at all. About 4 months ago. From that time forward I only drove with my father next to me. Now I am able to drive around my city by myself (even tho from time to time I start shaking). My fear is leaving the city again. I know it is irrational at this point but it is hard as heck. And we will go on a trip in December as well for New Year's Eve and I am sure I will be able to take my car by then. It is just that now it is a bit too much for me. She does understand that tho so I think I am fine there. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 24, 2020 Share Posted August 24, 2020 2 minutes ago, SmokeHHH said: About 4 months ago. From that time forward I only drove with my father next to me. Now I am able to drive around my city by myself (even tho from time to time I start shaking). My fear is leaving the city again. I know it is irrational at this point but it is hard as heck. And we will go on a trip in December as well for New Year's Eve and I am sure I will be able to take my car by then. It is just that now it is a bit too much for me. She does understand that tho so I think I am fine there. OK good. Glad she understands that. Are you sure she's OK with two other guys being on the trip (even if you're not in the same room)? Is it possible to invite another male/female couple? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmokeHHH Posted August 24, 2020 Author Share Posted August 24, 2020 2 hours ago, CautiouslyOptimistic said: OK good. Glad she understands that. Are you sure she's OK with two other guys being on the trip (even if you're not in the same room)? Is it possible to invite another male/female couple? She is fine with it. We know one another pretty well and my other friend(and his bro) is really chill. Like I said we both jokingly said we should go together(only us) and neither me or her objected but we can't take the train with the Covid19 stuff going on. We kinda both agreed silently that we will stay in the same room(same bed) but we didn't really open the subject. In my head I think we like one another since this isn't something I see friends doing(at least I didn't see situations like this). The advice that I've got is wait til we get there and see how things go but there is a good amount of time left before we leave and I don't want to "lose" her. I am going crazy in my head since I like solving problems and this is a problem I am not sure how to even approach.(I am new to this whole relationship thingy sadly) Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 24, 2020 Share Posted August 24, 2020 Don't worry about the driving (it's irrelevant anyway), in fact you can all share a bit of it if you wish. Concern yourself with making sure she's comfortable with the situation. For example she may think you are sharing a room for economy but you make think (or want) it to be sexual. Err on the side of caution when dealing with taking girls away on trips. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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