Wiseman2 Posted August 25, 2020 Posted August 25, 2020 13 minutes ago, TheBlingRing14 said: Anyway.....he's been MUCH chattier today. Much more jovial. So, I don't know if sorting everything out really helped to turn the corner or not. That's where we're at right now. So still no dates? It's strange doing the pen pal thing replete with relationship talks, etc, but not going past the first date. What is it you would like to see happen?
Velvet teddy Posted August 25, 2020 Posted August 25, 2020 (edited) At best he will string this woman along. And she seems pretty clueless so it won't be hard to do. Sorry to say. And people are wearing masks because of covid, so a silly comment to make there. As for the trying to find out if she likes him by asking what sexual position is her favourite . Please. The OP will fall for anything if she buys that. I don't get a long term relationship material vibe from this. But each to their own. . Edited August 25, 2020 by Velvet teddy 1
Author TheBlingRing14 Posted August 31, 2020 Author Posted August 31, 2020 Just wanted to provide an update to all you fine people who took your time to analyze my situation: Not much of an update, really. I'm pretty much done. It would take a lot for me to have any sort of hope that things are going to work out. He would have to make a massive effort to see me, which he hasn't yet, so I really doubt it will happen. So, I was due to be in his city for an appointment over the weekend, which I told him about. But, he already had plans, which was actually fine by me, because I pretty much expected him to have plans the day I was going to be there. No big deal. Well, the morning of, I texted him to wish him luck, and guess what...plans had been cancelled. So, it was definitely a sting that he didn't mention that plans had been cancelled. But, here is the kicker. He then texts me that he is on a date with someone else. He didn't say it was a date, and I suppose it could have been a co-worker or a buddy, but he said he was out to eat at his favorite restaurant with "another victim." Regardless of whether he was there with a date or not, the point is he could have been there on a date with me, and he chose not to. Eventually, he messaged me that his date was over but he never invited me over or offered to meet me at a coffee shop or anything. So, I just texted him that I was heading home, I was so angry. His response was just "Oops, didn't realize you were still here." Then, he continued trying to make conversation with me the rest of the night on unrelated topics. So, like I said...I don't see him putting forth any sort of effort to come see me or make anything happen, so...oh well, I tried. I am going to be out of the state for a week and a half coming up, which I plan to disconnect and re-charge (kind of an oximoron huh). Maybe that will give him time to re-evaluate how he treated me; maybe not. Maybe absence will make the heart grow fonder; maybe not. If I had to guess, he'll probably gaslight and say he was planning to take me out to dinner but....I wasn't in town so...I missed out on my chance. Yeah right. I'll believe it when I see it.
introverted1 Posted August 31, 2020 Posted August 31, 2020 20 minutes ago, TheBlingRing14 said: Maybe that will give him time to re-evaluate how he treated me; maybe not. Maybe absence will make the heart grow fonder; maybe not. Whatever he does, you are in charge of you. Please don't devalue yourself by giving this guy another chance.
Wiseman2 Posted August 31, 2020 Posted August 31, 2020 You need to delete and block him so you can move on. Stop chasing him. Have you read the book He's Just Not That Into You? 4 1
d0nnivain Posted August 31, 2020 Posted August 31, 2020 Glad you will be disconnecting to recharge. That sounds positive. Enjoy your trip. Unfortunately your absence will not make his heart grow fonder. It will be an out of sight, out of mind thing. 1
mhar Posted August 31, 2020 Posted August 31, 2020 (edited) The rule for a first date is max: 2 hours. 6 hours is too long. He probably felt like he had enough in 6 hours. That is equivalent to almost 3 dates. Pace out your dates. Follow Steve Harvey on fb and he talks about dating and helps people find long lasting love and chemistry. I have been talking to a guy for over 2 1/2 years. We only did it once. We don't make out, but he likes being with me. He likes talking to me. I know my body type is not for him. I am a little curvy but far from overweight. I work on my body daily. He does not make any moves on me. I thought it was me, but I don't know. I think he might be gay but not know it yet. I want a relationship with him, so we are working on this, very slowly. I like him and he likes me, but there is a big disconnect when it comes to chemistry. Every guy I go out with makes a move on me and it is great. The only reason it fizzles is because I am so far from many of them and they want to come over to my place. Anyhow, pace out your dates. 6 hours would be too long for me. I get bored quickly, even if the guy is super hot. Good luck! Edited August 31, 2020 by mhar 1
Velvet teddy Posted August 31, 2020 Posted August 31, 2020 (edited) 6 hours ago, TheBlingRing14 said: Just wanted to provide an update to all you fine people who took your time to analyze my situation: Not much of an update, really. I'm pretty much done. It would take a lot for me to have any sort of hope that things are going to work out. He would have to make a massive effort to see me, which he hasn't yet, so I really doubt it will happen. So, I was due to be in his city for an appointment over the weekend, which I told him about. But, he already had plans, which was actually fine by me, because I pretty much expected him to have plans the day I was going to be there. No big deal. Well, the morning of, I texted him to wish him luck, and guess what...plans had been cancelled. So, it was definitely a sting that he didn't mention that plans had been cancelled. But, here is the kicker. He then texts me that he is on a date with someone else. He didn't say it was a date, and I suppose it could have been a co-worker or a buddy, but he said he was out to eat at his favorite restaurant with "another victim." Regardless of whether he was there with a date or not, the point is he could have been there on a date with me, and he chose not to. Eventually, he messaged me that his date was over but he never invited me over or offered to meet me at a coffee shop or anything. So, I just texted him that I was heading home, I was so angry. His response was just "Oops, didn't realize you were still here." Then, he continued trying to make conversation with me the rest of the night on unrelated topics. So, like I said...I don't see him putting forth any sort of effort to come see me or make anything happen, so...oh well, I tried. I am going to be out of the state for a week and a half coming up, which I plan to disconnect and re-charge (kind of an oximoron huh). Maybe that will give him time to re-evaluate how he treated me; maybe not. Maybe absence will make the heart grow fonder; maybe not. If I had to guess, he'll probably gaslight and say he was planning to take me out to dinner but....I wasn't in town so...I missed out on my chance. Yeah right. I'll believe it when I see it. Well i did say as much. If you actually read what i wrote. I said he will string you along..BEST CASE SCENARIO. He's not interested and is very complacent towards you i.e he doesn't care if you're around or not. Learn to choose a guy who is actively wanting to be in your life. This man doesnt give a rats a**. Edited August 31, 2020 by Velvet teddy
DCGurly Posted September 1, 2020 Posted September 1, 2020 21 hours ago, TheBlingRing14 said: Just wanted to provide an update to all you fine people who took your time to analyze my situation: Not much of an update, really. I'm pretty much done. It would take a lot for me to have any sort of hope that things are going to work out. He would have to make a massive effort to see me, which he hasn't yet, so I really doubt it will happen. So, I was due to be in his city for an appointment over the weekend, which I told him about. But, he already had plans, which was actually fine by me, because I pretty much expected him to have plans the day I was going to be there. No big deal. Well, the morning of, I texted him to wish him luck, and guess what...plans had been cancelled. So, it was definitely a sting that he didn't mention that plans had been cancelled. But, here is the kicker. He then texts me that he is on a date with someone else. He didn't say it was a date, and I suppose it could have been a co-worker or a buddy, but he said he was out to eat at his favorite restaurant with "another victim." Regardless of whether he was there with a date or not, the point is he could have been there on a date with me, and he chose not to. Eventually, he messaged me that his date was over but he never invited me over or offered to meet me at a coffee shop or anything. So, I just texted him that I was heading home, I was so angry. His response was just "Oops, didn't realize you were still here." Then, he continued trying to make conversation with me the rest of the night on unrelated topics. So, like I said...I don't see him putting forth any sort of effort to come see me or make anything happen, so...oh well, I tried. I am going to be out of the state for a week and a half coming up, which I plan to disconnect and re-charge (kind of an oximoron huh). Maybe that will give him time to re-evaluate how he treated me; maybe not. Maybe absence will make the heart grow fonder; maybe not. If I had to guess, he'll probably gaslight and say he was planning to take me out to dinner but....I wasn't in town so...I missed out on my chance. Yeah right. I'll believe it when I see it. Know your worth. Delete and block. Don’t look back. 1
elaine567 Posted September 1, 2020 Posted September 1, 2020 15 hours ago, Velvet teddy said: I am going to be out of the state for a week and a half coming up, which I plan to disconnect and re-charge (kind of an oximoron huh). Maybe that will give him time to re-evaluate how he treated me; maybe not. Maybe absence will make the heart grow fonder; maybe not. If I had to guess, he'll probably gaslight and say he was planning to take me out to dinner but....I wasn't in town so...I missed out on my chance. Yeah right. I'll believe it when I see it. Ok so after all that, you are still hoping... Why are you still interested in a guy who as @Velvet teddy says does not give a rat's ass about you? Why would he re-evaluate anything? He did what HE wanted to do and that was to take another date to dinner... HE did not make time to see you as HE didn't want to do that... Take the hint, do not continue to make a fool out of yourself. 2
CaliforniaGirl Posted September 1, 2020 Posted September 1, 2020 On 8/21/2020 at 5:05 AM, Calmandfocused said: Never have sexual conversations with men you don’t know and have never met. It muddies boundaries and expectations especially if a relationship is what you’re searching for. You can’t solely blame this post first date boundary violation on him. You gave him the green light to do so. Are you searching for a relationship op? If so make that clear on the second date If and when that happens. Also there’s nothing wrong in asking him what he’s looking for. If you’re not on the same page terminate ASAP and move on. I haven't read any of the answers yet but this was what came to mind for me too. If the texts were sexy (not necessarily sexting) or pretty personal for someone you've never met, he may have been expecting you to show up acting...well, just as sexy. But instead (I'm guessing) you just acted like a regular person on a first date, he realized he wasn't going to hit that, he felt kinda duped or confused or just disinterested and he gave up on the idea. JMO. I could easily be wrong. But that's what it feels like to me. 1
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