ExpatInItaly Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 26 minutes ago, Mystery4u said: Because some of us are in adult relationships where we trust each other and don't see every single person of the opposite sex as a 'competitor'? Last year I went to Miami with my ex and her best friend and her boyfriend. The girls had the idea to go to a strip club and all 4 of us went. It was a fun night out, women can appreciate another women's body and dancing too. As mentioned there were actually more females there throwing money on the stage than there were males. You're unfairly assuming that women not wanting to see female strippers means they are insecure. It can simply be because many women don't find other naked women all that tantalizing or that much of a turn-on. Would you go a male strip club and let men give you lap dances? If not, why not? 4
dangerous Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 8 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Girls flocking to strip clubs to see nude women dancing and to "girly bars" to see women dancing in their underwear, are I guess at least bi... That's rather inflammatory. I think most broad-minded people do not have a problem with erotic dancing. Its not always 121 either: alot is on stage, take pole dancing: its amazing and impressive, and cam be appreciated as a physical feat not just erotically. And I. like many many of both sexes, enjoyed the film "The Full Monty" which featured a group of men stripping, does that make me gay, or bi? I don't think so lol. But back to the OP, if she is uptight about it, then of course she should not go, and also she's incompatible with her BF. I would hate my GF to forbid or create about my interests!.
elaine567 Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 The Full Monty was a comedy not an erotic film... 1
Wiseman2 Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 If your bf is not even going to them, why are you concerned and upset about it? 1
BaileyB Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 I’ve been at a bar where there were strippers. I didn’t find it enticing, I found it rather depressing. It was not at all what I expected. I would consider it cheating to go and watch. My opinion changes if there is touching involved.
Bluesky00 Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 Nope! I’m sure women flock to see chippendales and thunder from down under and is that cheating? Nope
BaileyB Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 1 hour ago, BaileyB said: I’ve been at a bar where there were strippers. I didn’t find it enticing, I found it rather depressing. It was not at all what I expected. I would consider it cheating to go and watch. My opinion changes if there is touching involved. Oops, that should say I would NOT consider it cheating to go and watch. 1
Author Deaana Posted July 23, 2020 Author Posted July 23, 2020 3 hours ago, Mystery4u said: Because some of us are in adult relationships where we trust each other and don't see every single person of the opposite sex as a 'competitor'? Last year I went to Miami with my ex and her best friend and her boyfriend. The girls had the idea to go to a strip club and all 4 of us went. It was a fun night out, women can appreciate another women's body and dancing too. As mentioned there were actually more females there throwing money on the stage than there were males. Years ago I was in Rio de Janeiro with my Brasileira ex and she took me to a strip club there to experience it. Another fun night out. Damn even my current girlfriend, when I was with her in Asia a few months ago, wanted to go with me to girly bars where there were girls dancing on stage in underwear. Her idea. Not everyone is as close minded and insecure as you and your relationship. I wouldn't make it a big deal if he would just watch. It would be totally fine and I would like to go too. But if there is lap dancing, then there is some physical contact and that is why I would get mad, because he would get horny from the touches of some other girls while I'm sitting there watching
Author Deaana Posted July 23, 2020 Author Posted July 23, 2020 2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: If your bf is not even going to them, why are you concerned and upset about it? We had a discussion about it. He said that he would go beche because he got angry about something. Months ago we agreed to go together but we didn't because I had forgotten my ID-card at home.
elaine567 Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 2 minutes ago, Deaana said: I wouldn't make it a big deal if he would just watch. It would be totally fine and I would like to go too. But if there is lap dancing, then there is some physical contact and that is why I would get mad, because he would get horny from the touches of some other girls while I'm sitting there watching He will get horny just watching, surely?
Author Deaana Posted July 23, 2020 Author Posted July 23, 2020 3 hours ago, dangerous said: That's rather inflammatory. I think most broad-minded people do not have a problem with erotic dancing. Its not always 121 either: alot is on stage, take pole dancing: its amazing and impressive, and cam be appreciated as a physical feat not just erotically. And I. like many many of both sexes, enjoyed the film "The Full Monty" which featured a group of men stripping, does that make me gay, or bi? I don't think so lol. But back to the OP, if she is uptight about it, then of course she should not go, and also she's incompatible with her BF. I would hate my GF to forbid or create about my interests!. As I said, just looking on stage is fine, but lap dancing has some touch on it and physical contact
Author Deaana Posted July 23, 2020 Author Posted July 23, 2020 1 minute ago, elaine567 said: He will get horny just watching, surely? Not just watching, but if an half naked girl would dance on his lap, probably he will
elaine567 Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 3 minutes ago, Deaana said: Not just watching, but if an half naked girl would dance on his lap, probably he will Why not watching? Your average guy does not see good looking women dancing sexily naked every day... The whole point of stripping is to turn guys on... 1
Ruby Slippers Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 Not cheating exactly, but close enough. I'm not ok with it, just as he wouldn't want me dancing half naked for other men. Men I'm compatible with say they don't have to pay to see a sexy woman half naked and it's a waste of money.
Author Deaana Posted July 23, 2020 Author Posted July 23, 2020 1 minute ago, elaine567 said: Why not watching? Your average guy does not see good looking women dancing sexily naked every day... The whole point of stripping is to turn guys on... Would it be fine for you if your boyfriend would go to a strip club and a naked woman would dance on his lap and she would touch him and he would touch her back? For me it wouldn't be fine. If he would go there with friends just to watch girls perform on stage naked, without having physical contact with them, it would be ok.
elaine567 Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 1 minute ago, Deaana said: If he would go there with friends just to watch girls perform on stage naked, without having physical contact with them, it would be ok. The operative word being IF...
Ami1uwant Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 5 hours ago, Deaana said: Why? It's the same even for bachelor/bachelorette party. You either consider it or not. Doesn't matter if you are celebrating or just going there for fun There is a big difference if you go there with a group for a party vs going there on your own by yourself. what complicates this..does a friend own or work there? how is this different than say going to hooters or twin peaks?
Ami1uwant Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 31 minutes ago, Deaana said: As I said, just looking on stage is fine, but lap dancing has some touch on it and physical contact So him turning and looking on the beach is fine?
Author Deaana Posted July 23, 2020 Author Posted July 23, 2020 5 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said: So him turning and looking on the beach is fine? It's something else because on the beach it is considered as flirting if he looks that much and it is disrespectful for me. On a strip club, it's not. The girls are just doing their job, there is a low chance they might have interest on a client especially if there are many guys watching them.
elaine567 Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 3 minutes ago, Deaana said: The girls are just doing their job, there is a low chance they might have interest on a client especially if there are many guys watching them. Is that the bit you are worried about? Surely it is his interest in them that is more pertinent to your relationship.
Author Deaana Posted July 23, 2020 Author Posted July 23, 2020 10 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Is that the bit you are worried about? Surely it is his interest in them that is more pertinent to your relationship. I would be worried if he would be the guy who would be addicted on them and those kind of girls or even like them, which he is not. He would go there with friends who are all in a relationship. And I am sure that with the girls would be no cheating, no nothing. What is a big deal for me is some other girl dancing on his lap and what makes the matter worse, him enjoying it. Watching wouldn't be a big deal because is somehow same as porn. I wouldn't stop him watching porn
ExpatInItaly Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 18 minutes ago, Deaana said: He would go there with friends who are all in a relationship. And I am sure that with the girls would be no cheating, no nothing. What is a big deal for me is some other girl dancing on his lap and what makes the matter worse, him enjoying it. Is your boyfriend planning on going to a strip club, OP? I get the sense that this is not a purely hypothetical question. Strip clubs vary in their level of decorum. Some follow protocol more closely than others, meaning some will turn a blind eye if a client wants to pay more for "extras" in a private booth. Some dancers are draw the line at this, others encourage it because it means more money for them. It depends on the club and the dancer. You can be quite sure dancers will try to sell lap dances, though. You just have to evaluate whether or not your boyfriend is the kind of guy who would go for it. If he does, you can also be quite sure he will enjoy it. Some guys in relationships see no issue with getting lap dance while for others it would cross a line. You then need to ask yourself where your boundaries are. Some women are fine with their partners enjoying a striptease and lapdance, others not. Neither is right or wrong; they are simply different. But you need to be clear with yourself what you are okay with, and what you will do if your boyfriend has different boundaries from yours. I am a woman, and have been in both male and female strip clubs before. I can't speak for the female dancers, but I did have a male dancer approach me later on outside the club as I was leaving and ask for my number to "take me out." I have no idea if he was honestly looking for a date or just repeat business, but dancers are people too. Like any other job, they sometimes notice specific clients and single them out. Again, it would be up the client to accept or refuse their advances. 1
Velvet teddy Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 56 minutes ago, Deaana said: I would be worried if he would be the guy who would be addicted on them and those kind of girls or even like them, which he is not. He would go there with friends who are all in a relationship. And I am sure that with the girls would be no cheating, no nothing. What is a big deal for me is some other girl dancing on his lap and what makes the matter worse, him enjoying it. Watching wouldn't be a big deal because is somehow same as porn. I wouldn't stop him watching porn Watching women through a tv/phone screen is different to paying to go to a venue and seeing women live. 1
mark clemson Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 As a partner, it's your purview to set whatever boundaries you are comfortable with in the relationship. IF they're genuinely too restrictive for the other partner, they will very likely be stepped past one way or another and/or it becomes a compatibility issue. You're free to tell him "I'm ok with you going, just only look and don't touch". How you would verify whether that happened or not without going yourself would be a significant question IMO. I suspect that some of these ladies who accompany their BFs to places like this are in part sizing up how the BF reacts - is he a little too interested, etc. Ultimately, if going to places is something he really wants/feels he needs to do, you can't stop him. You can certainly make your expectations/boundaries clear WRT his behavior there and either hope for the best or figure out some way to verify. You can also point out that if he loses you over a lapdance, that might not be a good trade off.
dispatch3d Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 I've only been to the strippers twice and didn't enjoy the trip either time. I would try to bail if someone asked me to go again tbh. Two separate cities. 1
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