rudiger Posted August 15, 2020 Posted August 15, 2020 About a week and a half ago I was on the phone with my girl, and in the middle of our conversation she randomly said that she thinks I am "too mature" for her. At the time, I didn't really make much of her comment, and just said okay, and carried on with the general conversation. I was too tired to go over it with her. But now that I am sat here reflecting on our past convos, I am starting to think about that comment more and more. And wondering whether at the time she was implying that she wanted to end things between us or am I over thinking?
Wiseman2 Posted August 15, 2020 Posted August 15, 2020 4 minutes ago, rudiger said: About a week and a half ago I was on the phone with my girl, and in the middle of our conversation she randomly said that she thinks I am "too mature" for her. Is there a significant age difference? Or does she like more carefree things than you? How long have you been dating?
Author rudiger Posted August 15, 2020 Author Posted August 15, 2020 8 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Is there a significant age difference? Or does she like more carefree things than you? How long have you been dating? No, she is a year younger than me. She likes swinging on the swings and climbing trees. Things like that. We have been dating for almost one month.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 15, 2020 Posted August 15, 2020 7 minutes ago, rudiger said: No, she is a year younger than me. She likes swinging on the swings and climbing trees. Things like that. We have been dating for almost one month. How old is she? 1
Author rudiger Posted August 15, 2020 Author Posted August 15, 2020 2 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: How old is she? She's 19.
Author rudiger Posted August 15, 2020 Author Posted August 15, 2020 3 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: How old is she? She's 19.
schlumpy Posted August 15, 2020 Posted August 15, 2020 I think you could read her comment the way you are. You would be wise to wait until you get a more solid confirmation which should be soon if that's what she meant.
Author rudiger Posted August 15, 2020 Author Posted August 15, 2020 1 minute ago, schlumpy said: I think you could read her comment the way you are. You would be wise to wait until you get a more solid confirmation which should be soon if that's what she meant. I don't quite understand what you mean by solid confirmation?
schlumpy Posted August 15, 2020 Posted August 15, 2020 The next warning will be much clearer and not so vague.
Author rudiger Posted August 15, 2020 Author Posted August 15, 2020 Just now, schlumpy said: The next warning will be much clearer and not so vague. What do you mean next warning? What warning?I don't understand what you are getting at.
Wiseman2 Posted August 15, 2020 Posted August 15, 2020 (edited) 11 minutes ago, rudiger said: She's 19. Ok you've been dating for 30 days or so. Does she want to slow down the sex or just go out and have fun more? Are her goals as serious as yours? Work, College, etc? And... ask her what she meant by that. Edited August 15, 2020 by Wiseman2 1
Author rudiger Posted August 15, 2020 Author Posted August 15, 2020 Just now, Wiseman2 said: Ok you've been dating for 30 days or so. Does she want to slow down the sex or just go out and have fun more? Are her goals as serious as yours? Work, College, etc? No, she doesn't comment on wanting to change our sex life. She works for her father's company. And is hard working. But she likes to go out a lot, and have fun. Not clubbing, bars or anything like that. But she is not educated. And does not have a high school degree. Which I am fine with, because she has aspirations to be a housewife. But sometimes, I find that she never really thinks before she speaks, and won't filter her thoughts and will just say whatever comes to mind, regardless if it offends the person. But one thing she made very clear to me from the beginning of our relationship. Is that she wants me to get married and her husband be the breadwinner. While she stays at home with the kids.
Wiseman2 Posted August 15, 2020 Posted August 15, 2020 35 minutes ago, rudiger said: No, she doesn't comment on wanting to change our sex life. But one thing she made very clear to me from the beginning of our relationship. Is that she wants me to get married and her husband be the breadwinner. While she stays at home with the kids. Make sure you always wear condoms. 3
schlumpy Posted August 15, 2020 Posted August 15, 2020 Ok. She will drop hints just like the one you noted. She will work them into conversations or play off of what the given circumstance is at the moment. "I'm not sure I deserve you." "Do you ever think of being with other girls?' "Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out." or she will talk about someone she knows the got married to young and wished she hadn't. Do you get the drift now?
ShyViolet Posted August 15, 2020 Posted August 15, 2020 38 minutes ago, rudiger said: But one thing she made very clear to me from the beginning of our relationship. Is that she wants me to get married and her husband be the breadwinner. While she stays at home with the kids. This is not something that you should even remotely be thinking about or talking about when you've been dating for one month, and she's 19. It's very lacking in judgment to even be thinking about this right now. Maybe the problem is not that you're too mature for her, the problem is that she's immature. 5
Author rudiger Posted August 15, 2020 Author Posted August 15, 2020 (edited) 17 minutes ago, schlumpy said: Ok. She will drop hints just like the one you noted. She will work them into conversations or play off of what the given circumstance is at the moment. "I'm not sure I deserve you." "Do you ever think of being with other girls?' "Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out." or she will talk about someone she knows the got married to young and wished she hadn't. Do you get the drift now? Well that was the only time of me being with her that she has caused me to question her interest. It's usually always positive. She always picks up my calls and answers my texts within seconds of me sending them. And compliments me. She even made it clear to me 2 weeks into our relationship that she wanted to have babies with me. Edited August 15, 2020 by rudiger
Author rudiger Posted August 15, 2020 Author Posted August 15, 2020 9 minutes ago, ShyViolet said: This is not something that you should even remotely be thinking about or talking about when you've been dating for one month, and she's 19. It's very lacking in judgment to even be thinking about this right now. Maybe the problem is not that you're too mature for her, the problem is that she's immature. Yes she is immature. You are right about that.
Author rudiger Posted August 15, 2020 Author Posted August 15, 2020 28 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Make sure you always wear condoms. Why?
Author rudiger Posted August 15, 2020 Author Posted August 15, 2020 33 minutes ago, ShyViolet said: This is not something that you should even remotely be thinking about or talking about when you've been dating for one month, and she's 19. It's very lacking in judgment to even be thinking about this right now. Maybe the problem is not that you're too mature for her, the problem is that she's immature. Would you advise me to end the relationship?
basil67 Posted August 16, 2020 Posted August 16, 2020 3 hours ago, rudiger said: But she is not educated. And does not have a high school degree. Which I am fine with, because she has aspirations to be a housewife. But sometimes, I find that she never really thinks before she speaks, and won't filter her thoughts and will just say whatever comes to mind, regardless if it offends the person. This is likely what she's referring to when she talks about the difference in maturity. She may be having second thoughts or she may be feeling insecure and want some reassurance that you don't mind. 1
healing light Posted August 16, 2020 Posted August 16, 2020 Don't read into it. I think you are overthinking her comment if all her actions have shown that she's interested. However, I would slow down talks of the future. It's too soon right now to be discussing marriage and children as if the future is a given when you're still getting to know her. 1
FudgeSwirl Posted August 16, 2020 Posted August 16, 2020 I agree with @ShyViolet. Talking about marriage and having children within a month of a relationship is way too soon. The next time you are together, you can ask her to elaborate on her comment that you're too mature. It doesn't sound like she's losing interest based on other things you have mentioned but whenever she makes comments that gets your mind buzzing never be afraid to ask her to explain herself. If something she says ever upsets you, also be sure to tell her. People who don't have filters sometimes don't even realize that they have offended or hurt someone. 1
Author rudiger Posted August 16, 2020 Author Posted August 16, 2020 6 minutes ago, FudgeSwirl said: I agree with @ShyViolet. Talking about marriage and having children within a month of a relationship is way too soon. The next time you are together, you can ask her to elaborate on her comment that you're too mature. It doesn't sound like she's losing interest based on other things you have mentioned but whenever she makes comments that gets your mind buzzing never be afraid to ask her to explain herself. If something she says ever upsets you, also be sure to tell her. People who don't have filters sometimes don't even realize that they have offended or hurt someone. I agree 100%. 1
Ami1uwant Posted August 16, 2020 Posted August 16, 2020 10 hours ago, rudiger said: No, she is a year younger than me. She likes swinging on the swings and climbing trees. Things like that. We have been dating for almost one month. Has she moved up from the tricycle to bike with training wheels yet? 1
Ami1uwant Posted August 16, 2020 Posted August 16, 2020 9 hours ago, rudiger said: No, she doesn't comment on wanting to change our sex life. She works for her father's company. And is hard working. But she likes to go out a lot, and have fun. Not clubbing, bars or anything like that. But she is not educated. And does not have a high school degree. Which I am fine with, because she has aspirations to be a housewife. But sometimes, I find that she never really thinks before she speaks, and won't filter her thoughts and will just say whatever comes to mind, regardless if it offends the person. But one thing she made very clear to me from the beginning of our relationship. Is that she wants me to get married and her husband be the breadwinner. While she stays at home with the kids. Where do you live? in the USA this is a deal breaker for me. Unless you live in a small town or workin a very high income area you need a two income household to own a house.
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