How concerned should I be about the girl I'm seeing posting 'thirst trap' pics/vids on social media?

[Timshel]

1 hour ago, poppyfields said:

Jmo but that is what this is sounding like, one great big total mind f'ck.  

Next time, make wiser choices.

Lol Poppy, you make some good points but the mind f'ck, no.  Instagram/Snap Chat whatever is going on is only vapid; mind f'ckery requires thought.  I would guess that at 3 months, boredom and who's next are the only neural sparks flying between two ears.

Enough about Snap Chat girl and more about OP, since he is here.  Are you competitive ChangeMyName?  It seems that your attraction is based on winning.  Even though being with a more reserved and trustworthy woman would allow sleep at night, you may need to have the sense of losing/competition in order to be sexually attracted.

I would guess that the reason your gf has been distant is that she is looking around for your replacement.  Fix your picker.

 

[rjc149]

15 hours ago, ChangeMyName said:

taking a video of you doing it with half your ass hanging out of your shorts and "crazy b!tch" playing in the background, then posting it publicly on your snapchat story for everyone to see--including a bunch of single, horny dudes, is inappropriate when you're committed to someone.

She ain't committed to you buddy. It's time to take your head out of the sand. This relationship is over. You had your turn, and it's the next guy's turn with her now. If you want a girlfriend, meet women who are girlfriend material. 

I know how you feel, it feels crappy. I'm sorry. But I can't help but find a little levity and humor in how utterly predictable this was. I literally called it. 

Go easy on the Ambien. I took it one night and woke up the next morning with my stove burners on. I apparently cooked something in the middle of the night and left the burner on, with zero memory of it. Kind of freaky. 

 

 

[basil67]

5 hours ago, poppyfields said:

But basil, what about all the "mirror selfie 'look at my ass' thirst trap-esque pics"?

Those words were taken from OP's original post.

Talk about the  "look at me ass" pole-dancing videos came later and in addition tom

Surely you see the difference between what your daughter does and what OP's girlfriend does?

 

Heaps of girls do pouty lips and butt cheek photos.    And I can't comment on the pole dancing videos without seeing them.   Yes, the OP described them as 'salacious' but...it is pole dancing after all.  Hot moves are part of the thing.

 

[basil67]

6 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said:

Your crass description of your relationship perfectly matches her crass behavior. Sounds like it's never had much depth. Your ego is hurt because you're not that "special" to her. But the way you describe "f*cking for three months" reveals she's not that special to you, either.

Shallow relationships yield shallow results. 

I thought the same thing.   Given how the OP now describes the "relationship",  it sounds more like a casual thing to me

[basil67]

38 minutes ago, enigma32 said:

You are a joke to her. Only a girl with absolutely zero respect for her BF would act the way she does.

Agreed.  Given his description of the 'relationship', she probably only sees him as not worth more than a fling  

Edited August 16, 2020 by basil67

[NomiMalone]

1 hour ago, enigma32 said:

The absolute best thing you can do for yourself is to just block her from all communication without explanation and move on with your life. If you come at her trying to talk things over at this point you will just look even more sad and lame. 

Couldn’t be better said. Just walk away OP, with your dignity intact. An explanation wouldn’t be necessarily - she knows perfectly what she’s done. Just walk away and go no contact.

On to better things!

[elaine567]

On 8/14/2020 at 7:33 PM, ChangeMyName said:

She actually opened her snapchat the other day and, with me right there, was like "let's see what this person sent." It was a selfie video of this guy drinking a beer and she said "I don't know why this guy is always sending me beer drinking videos. it's odd."

My guess this is your rival.
The guy drinking beer in her apartment maybe...
People tend to want to talk about the person they are enamoured with, even to their SO.
They cannot help themselves.

[mark clemson]

Possibly this is her indirect and conflict avoidant way of breaking up. She's decided to move on, but instead of looking you in the eye and telling you she "pulls some stuff" and hangs out with friends, lies, parties, has male friends over without you, etc. Then sends snapchats to let you know what she's been doing.

"A picture's worth a thousand words."  You'll get the message eventually...

Edited August 16, 2020 by mark clemson

[JRabbit]

I disagree that these pics and posting them for attention isn't a big deal. Maybe not the pics themselves but the action of trolling for attention surely shows a personality issue and women and men that do this when they are in a committed clearly show lack of boundaries and respect for their partner.  To say those who seek constant validation are not more likely to cheat? Oy, that's pretty naive.  Why do you think those pics are posted? To get messages, get chats started.  Maybe not actual physical cheating but emotional at the very least.  People cheat that can hide their need to fill a void, these types display their need to fill a void to the world. They are just waiting for the right person to take the bait.

Sorry OP. At the very least I would wonder why you weren't invited to the party. I think the writing is on the wall.

 

 

[SincereOnlineGuy]

On 8/13/2020 at 8:46 PM, ChangeMyName said:

Specifically snapchat. She's randomly posted mirror selfie "look at my ass" thirst trap-esque pics ever since I've known her, which was fine early on, but now we're exclusive and she's still doing it just as much or more than ever. And this week she's really going for it... Last night she posted an ass selfie in short shorts, and tonight she posted a video of herself swinging around on her pole dancing pole with the song "crazy bitch" playing in the background and wearing short shorts that she had rolled up further so her ass cheeks were hanging out (they were rolled up enough so that about half her ass was out).

I don't care if she takes pics/vids like this, but it worries me that she's sharing them publicly--especially on snapchat. First of all, it makes me think she might be insecure and requires attention from random people, including random people of the opposite sex, for validation. And more importantly, I'm sure she has other guys on her friends list who see these vids. And being a guy I know how guys think and what they'll try to do when they see this stuff. If I were a single guy on the prowl and saw a girl on my snap posting stuff like this I would (to be very blunt) shoot my shot and try to hookup with her. What bothers me the most is that she's deliberately showing her "goodies" publicly on snapchat and is putting herself out there to be hit on by other guys when we're supposed to be dating exclusively. I really, REALLY like this girl and want to make this work, but I don't know what to make of this...

Any thoughts?

This is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over-the-top.

In a world where somebody has truly lots of other fish in the sea...  people like this would be dumped habitually and those traits would be bred out of the human genome.

In more typical cases where questionable guys like having such a relative hottie around to conveniently bang, then it is permitted and put up with.

 

Now to be clear, nothing she is doing isn't well within her rights as a woman, and as an independent person...

 

but she GOT to this stage for a reason... and it is those REASONS why somebody who has lots of options should exercise his own right to OPT for others.

 

There just isn't any upside to such stupid behavior.     (and even the most fantastic ass on the planet does not (really) need to be preserved for all generations to see over and over again)

 

 

 

[notbroken]

Can you ever trust this woman in an exclusive relationship?  Doesn't seem so.  So far she has shown you she likes the attention of men, lies, and likes to party without you.  HARD next.  I've never said or even thought it before - but she doesn't even deserve a text or phone call.   Just no way.  You are going to be chewed up and spit out even more than you already have been if you stay with this 'lady'.