Author Alvi Posted August 14, 2020 Author Posted August 14, 2020 10 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: It seems like you are talking to much before meeting if you are having the same conversation over again. Scale back on that. Don't try to build rapport through the phone. Meet first. Probably. I know that nothing is real till you meet but he is just so easy to talk to so we discussed lots of subjects. For the future reference, I will scale back on talking too much before meeting. What's done is done in this case. I am meeting him on Saturday, so I am going to see what is what.
Author Alvi Posted August 14, 2020 Author Posted August 14, 2020 1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said: Have you memorized his playlist yet? I think I did, lol
Author Alvi Posted August 14, 2020 Author Posted August 14, 2020 11 hours ago, Goodguy05 said: I did that with someone recently just totally slipped my mind and she wrote me off I think it's superficial to write someone off for something so insignificant I have had woman forget what I'd told em whilst it's a lil annoying I gave it a go still it's no big deal sure he didn't mean to. If your gonna behave like that the whats it gona be like for u establishing a relationship? Like I said, I am still going to meet him. I didn't write him off. Thought about it, but no. I am going to see what he is like in person before making any judgments. 2
d0nnivain Posted August 14, 2020 Posted August 14, 2020 Go enjoy your date. Try to remember that a guy you haven't met yet, who is not fully invested in you, didn't remember a detail. It's not like your husband forgot your anniversary.
Andy_K Posted August 15, 2020 Posted August 15, 2020 You do enough online dating and you've had the same conversations dozens or hundreds of times. No way you're going to remember everything you have or haven't said to the latest one. All the more reason to get the interaction offline. Once you meet, you're more real and more memorable. Until then, you're just another picture.
Author Alvi Posted August 17, 2020 Author Posted August 17, 2020 (edited) An update: The date went well, but I am not sure he is right for me. We got along well, laughed a lot but he has 3 pre-teen kids. I don't quite know if I am able to date a guy with the kids. I knew he had kids before our date, of course. But I was under the impression that he sees them once in a while since his ex-wife lives in another province. But they are an integral part of his life, as they should be. I got the impression that he is looking for a full time mommy when his kids are staying with him. I was somewhat OK to be their friend, but not a full time provider for them. I don't have kids myself so have no clue what it takes. He wants me to meet them as soon as possible, which is a red flag for me here. Even asked me how I feel about living together. That soon????? He asked me for another date, but I think he saw my hesitation to say yes. We still text each other but no definite plans to meet again. Edited August 17, 2020 by Alvi 1
FMW Posted August 17, 2020 Posted August 17, 2020 19 minutes ago, Alvi said: He wants me to meet them as soon as possible, which is a red flag for me here. Even asked me how I feel about living together. Definitely red flags. I wouldn't bother seeing him again. 3
Ruby Slippers Posted August 17, 2020 Posted August 17, 2020 40 minutes ago, Alvi said: He wants me to meet them as soon as possible, which is a red flag for me here. Even asked me how I feel about living together. That soon????? Yes, way too soon. I agree he seems to looking for an instant step-mom. Given his rush to that, I wouldn't see him again, either.
Wiseman2 Posted August 17, 2020 Posted August 17, 2020 44 minutes ago, Alvi said: He wants me to meet them as soon as possible, which is a red flag for me here. Even asked me how I feel about living together. That soon????? Definitely red flags. he seems desperate for a live-in nanny. Run 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 17, 2020 Posted August 17, 2020 Wowwwwwww.....yeah, run from this one! 1
d0nnivain Posted August 17, 2020 Posted August 17, 2020 Good for you for going on the date. That said now that you know more about him I think your assessment that you two are not a good match is accurate & you can move on. 2
Author Alvi Posted August 18, 2020 Author Posted August 18, 2020 I texted him that we are a good match. He seemed upset but respected my wishes. So this is it. Internet dating is very difficult, even impossible. I am not having much luck with it. But I honestly don't know where else to meet people. I am pretty much invisible to men. Men don't approach me first anywhere, not at the grocery store or at any events. Definitely not at work. If I try to talk first, they usually politely tell me that they are not interested or don't know how to get away from me fast enough. My friends and relatives can't introduce me to anybody. I don't go to bars or to the clubs, so where else do you meet men?
Wiseman2 Posted August 18, 2020 Posted August 18, 2020 Try to screen better and avoid guys with kids if that's a deal breaker.
ssm617 Posted August 18, 2020 Posted August 18, 2020 7 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Try to screen better and avoid guys with kids if that's a deal breaker. Having kids or not is often mentioned on the profile. But if not, then she could have asked him if he had any. As for him asking for her about her music taste a second time, I didn't think that was a big deal. I don't remember every detail of a conversation I had with someone and vice versa. 1
Wiseman2 Posted August 18, 2020 Posted August 18, 2020 18 hours ago, Alvi said: Internet dating is very difficult, even impossible. I am not having much luck with it Try to develop a strategy. Have a few back and forth texts, meet in person. Have a mental checklist of what's important to you, deal breakers and red flags...simply don't respond to those in the first place. If it only comes out at the meet up, then just do exactly what you did.
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