How can I stop allowing myself to be a doormat?

[kismetkismet]

I agree with PPs that suggested therapy. It can help you learn to identify manipulative behaviours and how to set healthy boundaries. A lot of the time 'pushovers' are trying to be kind and give people the benefit of the doubt because THEY would never do the things their toxic partner is doing. It can be difficult to identify manipulation when you yourself are not manipulative. Particularly when you want to believe the things they're telling you. 

[Wiseman2]

This may sound overly simplified, but take the "welcome" off the doormat. Instead have no entry without, shirt, shoes, mask, ID, etc etc. Tighten boundaries. Get out of the 'need to be liked" business and retool as a 'need to be respected' business.

Edited September 8, 2020 by Wiseman2

[Dork Vader]

Every single person I know who has been doormat/pushover with regards to other people typically have the same problem. It typically boils down to a lack of self confidence, self worth and self respect. It occasionally also involves past trauma/abuse. 

My best advice is that one, you be honest with yourself about past trauma and abuse. If it has happened, then you should probably see a therapist who specializes in dealing with trauma/abuse victims. It's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about and they can do wonders. I saw one to deal with severe social anxiety and it changed my life.

If it's just a self esteem, self worth and self respect problem. Then I'd highly recommend you read some books on the topic.  Nathaniel Branden, The Six Pilars of Self Esteem are a great place to start with. Also do things that are positive, exercise, eat healthy, if your into it explore your spirituality.. Set achievable goals for yourself and really follow through on them. You'll build self confidence up as you go.