She said no spark

[the tank]

But why did she text me when she arrived home to thank me for my patience ??  If she dont care about me she will juste have gone sleep and not text me..

Edited August 11, 2020 by the tank

[Wiseman2]

18 minutes ago, the tank said:

But why did she text me when she arrived home to thank me for my patience ??  

Typical friendzone speech.

[smackie9]

56 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Typical friendzone speech.

I was gonna say the same thing....totally friend zoned.

[Giovane]

She does want to keep you around... at a certain distance though.

[basil67]

8 hours ago, the tank said:

One year ago she had a toxic relationship with a pervert Narcissist. She never had a good relationship. She is 29. Last guy she dated, he was emotionally dependent 

While each person will have a dating history (and we're all allowed a horror story or two) someone who has never had a good relationship by the age of 29 is the horror story others talk about.  She's the constant in the equation.

When you're looking to date, expect someone who speaks about their past to mostly do it with respect for their exes.  Eg, "he was a good guy but we wanted different things" is the kind of thing which shows respect.

[Backinthesaddleagain]

8 hours ago, the tank said:

....My impression is the spark thing is bulls***...

 

I disagree with this statement and some comments from others. It is straight forward, and I would love if a woman would tell me this instead of just ghosting. Why would it be bulls***? She wasn't feeling you for whatever reason. If there is another reason, it really shouldn't concern you. I would let her go and not talk to her again. Good luck 

[d0nnivain]

3 hours ago, the tank said:

But why did she text me when she arrived home to thank me for my patience ??  If she dont care about me she will juste have gone sleep and not text me..

Because she's polite.  That is different from attracted.  

[Giovane]

I think "no spark" does not need to be interpreted or translated, you can actually take it at face value.

It happens. You meet someone who is a great person, maybe also good-looking, but you just don't feel it.

[healing light]

For me, the spark upon initial meeting is a baseline of physical attraction. If I'm neutral to a man and his personality is great, it can grow and develop to be even stronger than a man I find objectively attractive but whose personality is blah. If I am not at least neutral, though, and the idea of kissing him turns me off, then it doesn't tend to grow no matter how awesome he is. So if anyone said there's no spark, I would just write that person off immediately romantically and assume there is only friendship potential.

That alone should have you moving on, but in conjunction with the rest of what she said it sounds like this was no real loss. I'm sure there's someone else out there that is much more compatible. 

[nibelheim89]

The sheer arrogance of her texting "to thanks me for comprehension and patience... " would have had me texting her two words with the second being off.

 

 

Edited August 12, 2020 by nibelheim89

[alphamale]

21 hours ago, the tank said:

thank you everyone. really appreciate it!!

you're welccome Tank

[the tank]

Btw she asked me for another date... maybe she want casual dating ?

[d0nnivain]

Since she said no spark but wants another date anyway to me that indicates that she's bored  & is willing to use you for entertainment at present because she has no other prospects.  Understanding that, go if you like being a filler until she finds somebody she likes better

[Wiseman2]

10 minutes ago, the tank said:

Btw she asked me for another date... maybe she want casual dating ?

She wants someone to talk to and complain about her exes, her problems,etc. She knows you're willing to put up with it.

[the tank]

I understood that but I am planning to go whitout expectation.  I would put boundary on talking abour her ex. I was too much of a nice guy, I agree, because we had a friend in commun... i didnt meet her on dating app

Edited August 12, 2020 by the tank

[Giovane]

Just make sure that you get some value out of the "date" (?) too. Pick a location you want to go to, an activity you would like to do, anything. Make sure you have fun too, tease her and joke around if that amuses you.

It will not be a job interview where you have to perform in a certain way to achieve whatever, nor will you have to be there for her entertainment or as her therapist. If you agree to do this in your free time, be aware that you too have the right to have a good time and feel entertained!

I think that's the correct mindset not only for this particular situation, but for any date you might have with other women in the future.

Edited August 12, 2020 by Giovane

[Wiseman2]

Unless she's paying you $250/hr you're wasting your time being a free psychiatrist. It doesn't matter how you met her.

You want to sleep with her but she's not interested. So while you play free psychiatrist, all the other women you could be dating will pass you by.

[the tank]

3 minutes ago, Giovane said:

Just make sure that you get some value out of the "date" (?) too. Pick a location you want to go to, an activity you would like to do, anything. Make sure you have fun too, tease her and joke around if that amuses you.

It will not be a job interview where you have to perform in a certain way to achieve whatever, nor will you have to be there for her entertainment or as her therapist. If you agree to do this in your free time, be aware that you too have the right to have a good time and feel entertained!

I think that's the correct mindset not only for this particular situation, but for any date you might have with other women in the future.

I told her that we would go Hiking. I was planning to go solo anyway.

[Mystery4u]

1 minute ago, the tank said:

I told her that we would go Hiking. I was planning to go solo anyway.

Doesn't exactly sound like a date. What exactly did she say to make you say she asked you out on another date?

[the tank]

1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

Unless she's paying you $250/hr you're wasting your time being a free psychiatrist. It doesn't matter how you met her.

You want to sleep with her but she's not interested. So while you play free psychiatrist, all the other women you could be dating will pass you by.

A girl friend yesterday, told me that would bring a single friend next to do a fire bond at my place. I am still looking else where. 

 

[the tank]

1 minute ago, Mystery4u said:

Doesn't exactly sound like a date. What exactly did she say to make you say she asked you out on another date?

I said nothing. I just ignore her last sms yesterday. She asked if i want to go on date but since the outcome is low, I picked something I liked to do. We would picnic at the top !!

[Mystery4u]

11 minutes ago, the tank said:

I said nothing. I just ignore her last sms yesterday. She asked if i want to go on date but since the outcome is low, I picked something I liked to do. We would picnic at the top !!

She used the specific word date? Just seems odd she would say that after telling you there's no spark.. something does not add up.

As for the picnic at the top of the hike, that's not something I would do with someone who told me they 'see no future with me'... Too much effort for someone who does not deserve it.

[the tank]

4 minutes ago, Mystery4u said:

She used the specific word date? Just seems odd she would say that after telling you there's no spark.. something does not add up.

As for the picnic at the top of the hike, that's not something I would do with someone who told me they 'see no future with me'... Too much effort for someone who does not deserve it.

Not on her text. but at my place she told me after the spark thing, that we could date another few time to see if the spark come. 

[d0nnivain]

The spark doesn't come.  It's there from the beginning or it's not.  That is the nature of a spark. 

Love can develop long term but not that spark.  

She's using you.  Your hiking meet up sounds like a friendzone thing.  I hope she is bringing part of whatever you will picnic on at the top.  

[Fox Sake]

14 minutes ago, the tank said:

I said nothing. I just ignore her last sms yesterday. She asked if i want to go on date but since the outcome is low, I picked something I liked to do. We would picnic at the top !!

I’m with @Mystery4u
She asked for a date? Or she asked to meet up and do something? Big difference.  
I find it weird that someone would say there isn’t a spark and would then flat out say “I want a date”...I would be telling them they missed their chance. 
which leads me to believe she wants to know you’re still interested but has no intention of following it up in a romantic sense. 
 

It sounds like she just wants a friend. This all sounds pitiful. She rejected you romantically and you’re still pandering to her .. ignoring her text was just a game and now you got the reaction you were hoping for you’re back in the saddle again.. At least you’re doing something you enjoy , I guess. Does it not make you feel crap knowing you like her and she doesn’t feel exactly the same way ? Or are you hanging on the hope that she will come around and fall for you? 
 

the other posters are right, the spark is there from the start.  It’s not something you create. Love is created from a spark. 
 

sorry for the tough love , I just want you to respect yourself a little and have some values and standards for yourself of what you will and will not put up with.