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Using a guy as an emotional crutch? Yay or nay


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Posted

Hello LS, me again. I met this guy a few years at work, I think you would all agree that this was an incredible man. At first, it was a romantic interest but his attraction to me was short lived, and he has moved on to another relationship. He set up fake number in case I were to reach out and when I do, I feel comfort, although I know it could never be more. He simply does not feel the same as I once did many moons ago. He doesn't always respond but I am wondering if using him as an emotional crutch since I'm in no position to date locally is a good idea. I don't want to cause him any more grief but I don't want to say goodbye quite yet either and want to continue to lean on him as an emotional crutch. I expect some harsh replies but, I also have to pull up my pants and face the reality of the situation. I do genuinely want him to be happy. 

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Posted

Further, he has taught me so much about myself and so much about life and love. He has made me want to be a better person and I don't think I would have the motivation or drive right now without him. 

Posted (edited)

If he is in a relationship then no definitely not use him as a crutch.

It would be in everyone's best interest for you you yo back off and let him get on with his life with his gf.

Edited by JTSW
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Posted

No, this is not a good idea. 

You need to learn to stand on your own two feet. 

And I don't think I'd be taking any advice about love or life from a dude who has to set up a fake number in order for me to contact him. That is not someone who approaches life in mature, respectable or admirable way. You need a better (proverbial) life coach than this guy. He's not qualified for the role. 

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Posted
7 minutes ago, JTSW said:

If he is in a relationship then no definitely not use him as a crutch.

It would be in everyone's best interest for you you yo back off and let him get on with his life with his gf.

You are indeed correct. I've been selfish using him as a crutch. I was so motivate with him and didn't have much connections locally. If I really care about the guy, I would let him go and it is a selfish move holding on. I have stopped. 

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Posted
Just now, ExpatInItaly said:

No, this is not a good idea. 

You need to learn to stand on your own two feet. 

And I don't think I'd be taking any advice about love or life from a dude who has to set up a fake number in order for me to contact him. That is not someone who approaches life in mature, respectable or admirable way. You need a better (proverbial) life coach than this guy. He's not qualified for the role. 

Thank you, and I have let it go. I appreciate it. It sucks cause I was so motivated by him but I did this so I don't need him to do it. 

Posted

Sounds to me you are ready to move on. If he can find someone in this pandemic, you can too. The key to motivation, is to stop making excuses.

Posted

You're pining for what's basically a ghost. Lay it to rest and move on. Better things are ahead.

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Posted
55 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said:

You're pining for what's basically a ghost. Lay it to rest and move on. Better things are ahead.

I'm sorry but did you read the post? What am I pining for?

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