How to let him know I'm interested in a very low-key way

[Veronica73]

So, there is this attractive neighbor guy who I frequently cross paths with when I’m walking my dog in the morning. We usually smile and say hi. I feel like I might be interested in getting more friendly with him. But he hasn’t made any attempt to get to know me better (and he doesn’t seem like a shy guy at all). And I’m not usually the one to initiate things, and the few times I have, it has gone badly. They were totally “he’s not that into you” scenarios. But it seems like he does always take notice of me when we cross paths, even if he is in his car. Is there anyway I can low-key act more friendly towards him to slowly warm things up a little? (There is no way I’m going to just ask the guy out. He hasn’t given me much, if any encouragement (he’s probably just a naturally friendly guy), and I don’t want to make things weird with a neighbor who I will continue to cross paths with.) How can I show a little more interest and warmth, without making him uncomfortable in case he has zero interest at all? I think I’d be interested in getting to know him a little better. Or should I rely on my default position of “if he was interested he would initiate”?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Are you sure he is single? And straight?

[Veronica73]

I’ve never seen him with anybody else. So it seems like he is single. Not sure about the straight part. I mean, I could use more platonic friends as well (if it turns out he is gay).

edit: I suppose he could be in a long distance relationship.

Edited August 8, 2020 by Veronica73

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Does he have a dog?  When I lived in an apartment complex as a single woman I made several friends (including a few single men) because we all had dogs.

[Veronica73]

No, he doesn’t have a dog. But he goes on walks in the morning when I’m walking my dog. It kind of seems like he likes to see the sunrise. He’ll come out with a cup of coffee and walk down the street and stop when he is past the tall buildings and face the direction of the sunrise.

[Veronica73]

He seems so nice, and confident yet unassuming.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

7 minutes ago, Veronica73 said:

No, he doesn’t have a dog. But he goes on walks in the morning when I’m walking my dog. It kind of seems like he likes to see the sunrise. He’ll come out with a cup of coffee and walk down the street and stop when he is past the tall buildings and face the direction of the sunrise.

Do you have a camera other than on your phone?  Maybe one morning when there's a particularly nice sunrise, take your camera and start snapping pics and maybe you can strike up a conversation that way?

[Veronica73]

That’s a good idea. Thank you. Why would it need to be a dedicated camera? Just carrying my phone with me on my morning walks would be a big change for me. (I’m not one to always have my phone on me).

Also, it’s hard to know if the sunrise is nice until you are out on your walk. I can’t really see it from my place.

Edited August 8, 2020 by Veronica73

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

23 minutes ago, Veronica73 said:

That’s a good idea. Thank you. Why would it need to be a dedicated camera? Just carrying my phone with me on my morning walks would be a big change for me. (I’m not one to always have my phone on me).

Also, it’s hard to know if the sunrise is nice until you are out on your walk. I can’t really see it from my place.

I guess I could probably just be your phone!  There may be some trial and error involved here with regard to a pretty sunrise :).  Pink at night is a sailor's delight....pink in the morning is a sailor's warning....so maybe watch the forecast for a day when late morning/afternoon rain is in the forecast??

 

[Wiseman2]

Invite him for a neighborly cup of coffee

 

[Veronica73]

Thanks enigma    I think I can do that!

[elaine567]

Make sure he does not have a "her indoors" before you get too invested.
Especially since he is  a neighbour.
Just because she is not there on his early morning walks or in the car, doesn't mean she is not at home/working/travelling for work...etc.

[Fox Sake]

Why don’t you take a cup of coffee with you and go and stand with him when he’s standing facing the sunrise
Or be there with a cup of coffee a few minutes before he gets there. Then strike up conversation 

Edited August 8, 2020 by Fox Sake
Grammar

[elaine567]

7 hours ago, Veronica73 said:

No, he doesn’t have a dog. But he goes on walks in the morning when I’m walking my dog. It kind of seems like he likes to see the sunrise. He’ll come out with a cup of coffee and walk down the street and stop when he is past the tall buildings and face the direction of the sunrise.

Personally I don't'think I would want to interrupt that.
That sounds like a ritual, something someone would do to remember something/someone.
If this is about a dead wife/friend/dog even, then I guess your deliberate presence may not be appreciated.

[Mystery4u]

"Hi, I've seen you a few times in the morning going for a walk. I was wondering if you would like to grab a coffee together one morning?"

It's really not that hard.

[alphamale]

throw a small party and invite him, maybe like a bbq or something

[Veronica73]

2 hours ago, elaine567 said:

Make sure he does not have a "her indoors" before you get too invested.
Especially since he is  a neighbour.
Just because she is not there on his early morning walks or in the car, doesn't mean she is not at home/working/travelling for work...etc.

I really don’t think he is living with anybody unless he/she never leaves theIr apartment with him. He lives less than half a block away from me. I think I would have noticed. But yeah, just because he’s not living with someone doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a significant other. I’m not going to get invested at all unless I get to know him and things progress. I’m just interested right now. And it’s been awhile since I’ve been interested in anyone. So I guess I don’t want to just ignore it.

54 minutes ago, Fox Sake said:

Why don’t you take a cup of coffee with you and go and stand with him when he’s standing facing the sunrise
Or be there with a cup of coffee a few minutes before he gets there. Then strike up conversation 

That seems awkward since it’s not something I’ve ever done before. Also it’s hard to hold a cup of coffee while handling a dog and picking up poop and all that.

17 minutes ago, alphamale said:

throw a small party and invite him, maybe like a bbq or something

Lol! I don’t think I know enough people to invite to a small party, and the people I do know who might come are all from different aspects of my life and wouldn’t know each other. And they might not even show up. (I’m extremely introverted). I’m in my mid-forties and the only party I have ever had was when my ex finished his PhD, and all the guests were his friends. But thanks, if I was a normal person that would probably be a good idea

[d0nnivain]

Since this has been going on a while, next time you see him say something like 

Hey, we seem to be on the same schedule.  I'm Veronica & this is [dog].   

Hopefully he'll give you his name at that point & the conversation can flow from there.  Just any exchange beyond "hi" is the small start you seek.  

[schlumpy]

People like to talk about things they own or do. If he has decent car ask him about it with cover that you are thinking of getting another car. Ask him he would recommend the manufacturer of his car.

If he has a house then he may have a garden or maybe he's into landscaping. You can strike up a conversation under the pretense that your farming genes are demanding you get your hands dirty.

If you pick a subject he is familiar with he may talk at length about it and you can get his measure.

Happy love hunting

[Veronica73]

29 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

Since this has been going on a while, next time you see him say something like 

Hey, we seem to be on the same schedule.  I'm Veronica & this is [dog].   

Hopefully he'll give you his name at that point & the conversation can flow from there.  Just any exchange beyond "hi" is the small start you seek.  

Yeah, that totally seems doable. I overthink things I guess. Thank you

26 minutes ago, schlumpy said:

People like to talk about things they own or do. If he has decent car ask him about it with cover that you are thinking of getting another car. Ask him he would recommend the manufacturer of his car.

If he has a house then he may have a garden or maybe he's into landscaping. You can strike up a conversation under the pretense that your farming genes are demanding you get your hands dirty.

If you pick a subject he is familiar with he may talk at length about it and you can get his measure.

Happy love hunting

Ha, thank you on the love hunting!

Interestingly, I bought a Mazda 3 in January. And since then, I learned that his car is a Mazda 3 too. And we both have the hatchbacks. (Don’t think I could claim I was thinking of getting another car since I just bought one.) 

Edited August 8, 2020 by Veronica73

[schlumpy]

5 minutes ago, Veronica73 said:

Interestingly, I bought a Mazda 3 in January. And since then, I learned that his car is a Mazda 3 too. And we both have the hatchbacks. (Don’t think I could claim I was thinking of getting another car since I just bought one.) 

It's a sign Veronica, It's a sign.

[Fox Sake]

1 hour ago, Veronica73 said:

That seems awkward since it’s not something I’ve ever done before. Also it’s hard to hold a cup of coffee while handling a dog and picking up poop and all that.

To each their own. Nothing good ever came easy or without effort and putting yourself out of your comfort zone. 
There’s still plenty of great ideas from other people that you follow up on. 
I wouldn’t suggest picking up poo whilst having a conversation either. Something tells me that wouldn’t be such a turn on

Edited August 8, 2020 by Fox Sake

[poppyfields]

Do you need any light chores done in or outside your home?  

My dad told me men love to help, it draws them in, so why not ask him to help you with something?   Like moving a heavy box, a piece of furniture, anything really. 

Make it subtle, do not be obvious about it. 

Gauge his response, if he says sure, then while he's there, offer him a cold drink, start up a conversation, nothing intrusive. 

Light, casual, fun! 

Edited August 8, 2020 by poppyfields

[Wiseman2]

You seem too shy and resistant to excellent recommendations to ever do more than have a crush.

[smackie9]

The only thing you can do is make conversation, like "Isn't it a lovely morning!" and "How are you today?" and work it from there. If he is interested, he will take full advantage, and extend the conversation. If he doesn't he's just being a friendly neighbor.