Post first date texting and dating confusion

[trypoprx]

So, I met a guy on Tinder. We texted constantly for a week:  good morning, good night, and throughout the day.  And then on Saturday we had our first date by the beach. I thought it went well and during the date he mentioned our next date should be at this local restaurant or at his house, where he would prepare a meal for me. He said to text him and let him know if I was comfortable with that. We hugged at the beginning and even harder at the end of the date.

I thought I was pretty quiet and awkward during the date (he was doing most of the talking), so that night I texted him saying it was great meeting him and that I was sorry if I was a little awkward and quiet.  He responded the next day saying "lol you weren't awkward, I was just babbling".

I responded then by saying he was outgoing and charismatic & proceeded to text him as normal about my day. Showing him a picture of my grandparents, who I was out with, holding hands and asking him "how cute are they??". It's been around 4 days and he hasn't responded. Did I scare him off?

Am I being ghosted? I just want to be prepared if I am. I was really enthusiastic about him & feel as though my world is falling apart now. Granted he's 39 (I'm 26) and he did mention that he's not accustomed to text back and forth. I don't know what to think. I'm extremely new to the dating world and confused.

[trypoprx]

I'm thinking of texting him tomorrow with "Hey, pretty sure you lost interest but I had a great time with you on the weekend and would love to meet again if you're cool.  If not, it's all good. Wish you all the best."

^ I can't tell if that makes it worse or not and if I'm just humiliating myself further. 

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, trypoprx said:

 It's been around 4 days and he hasn't responded. 
Am I being ghosted? he did mention that he's not accustomed to text back and forth. I

Unfortunately one-and-done is a common occurrence in online apps, even after a great first meet. After one date many people are still meeting others.

Do not send a preemptive strike text like that...just leave it. Either he contacts you again...or not.  Never chase after one-date ghosts with relationship talks no less breakup talks. 

Date with confidence. Next time  do not text all day. Try not to fast forward this much after one meet. His next 'date at his place' seems like he just wants hookups anyway. Try dating closer to your age range.

[Erik30]

14 minutes ago, trypoprx said:

I'm thinking of texting him tomorrow with "Hey, pretty sure you lost interest but I had a great time with you on the weekend and would love to meet again if you're cool.  If not, it's all good. Wish you all the best."

^ I can't tell if that makes it worse or not and if I'm just humiliating myself further. 

It's not looking great, but if you really like this guy you can send him that text. (Lose the "Hey, pretty sure you lost interest" part)

Though he probably would've reached out by now if he was interested... but you'll have your answer.

[Realitysux]

He didn't fall head over heels with you on the first date but don't text him and see if he texts you. If he doesn't then don't text him. This doesn't sound good at all and even your description of this does seem off. You were awkward and shy so you didn't seem to click as well as he didn't seem shy and men are typically shy around women they like. 

Edited August 5, 2020 by Realitysux

[poppyfields]

Agree with others but to add --  it was too soon to send him pics of your family - your grandparents holding hands?  

My guess is that spooked him.   I would be spooked if a guy sent that to me after one date.  Wait until you are an established couple before sending family type pics like that 

My advice is let this go, this sounds like a one and done, I'm sorry. 

[Versacehottie]

39 minutes ago, trypoprx said:

I'm thinking of texting him tomorrow with "Hey, pretty sure you lost interest but I had a great time with you on the weekend and would love to meet again if you're cool.  If not, it's all good. Wish you all the best."

^ I can't tell if that makes it worse or not and if I'm just humiliating myself further. 

No, no no, please don't send that text.  I'm going to guess that if he lost interest it's because you called yourself awkward and all that, basically outing your insecurity. Brava for at least going back to normal talk right after that but also you shouldn't have tried to fix your behavior from the date after the date with words.  It just conveys insecurity and a little desperate, often causing someone to lose interest.  He already was trying to plan another date so you should have just rolled with that.

I think now FURTHER trying to fix it in a last ditch attempt is yes "even worse".  At least leave him confused about whether or not you are still interested rather than throw it all on the table in this hail mary attempt.  I think it doesn't look good but it means what it means.  I think you should let him contact you.  If you are truly "cool with it" you should have no problem doing that.  There is no need to arbitrarily speed up a need for an answer of what is going on.  He was capable of texting you regularly before the date so you don't need to fill in the blanks for him. He might be trying to distance himself so he doesn't find himself in a full blown relationship.  Play the long game and SHOW that you have options by not chasing after him or throwing yourself at his feet.  That's what this proposed text does ^^^

Right now the ball is in his court.  If he gets his act together to arrange that date in a timeframe where it's reasonable that you wouldn't have made other plans than just go with it and have fun.  If it's late notice, then be charming and your normal self on text but let him know you have other plans because you hadn't heard from him & try to reschedule.  SHOW rather than tell. Goodluck

*ps he might have been testing you in a way & personally i think when he offered the two options of date two--you should have said yes to restaurant, which basically means no to date at his house.  He's testing you--you test back as far as his intentions.  He might have still disappeared but you would have a clear answer about what he wanted. 

Edited August 5, 2020 by Versacehottie

[d0nnivain]

Yes, the follow up text you are contemplating would make everything worse.  You were already off into odd-land by sending the first self deprecating message.   In the future never acknowledge your own awkwardness in a post date text.  Most people are so busy being nervous themselves, they don't notice your issues until you point them out.  Then you just look weird & lacking in self esteem.  

Since he already said he doesn't like the texting back & forth thing don't worry just yet.  Your how cute are they question about your grandparents didn't need a response.  

Assuming you know the name of the local restaurant he mentioned, you can text something along the lines of 

        Hey I'm still open to checking out [restaurant].  Let me know if you still want to. 

Leave it at that.  If he responds, great.  If not, yes, at that point you have been ghosted.  

 

[trypoprx]

49 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Unfortunately one-and-done is a common occurrence in online apps, even after a great first meet. After one date many people are still meeting others.

Do not send a preemptive strike text like that...just leave it. Either he contacts you again...or not.  Never chase after one-date ghosts with relationship talks no less breakup talks. 

Date with confidence. Next time  do not text all day. Try not to fast forward this much after one meet. His next 'date at his place' seems like he just wants hookups anyway. Try dating closer to your age range.

Ah, I guess this is the hard truth I need to accept. Thanks for the post.

[trypoprx]

19 minutes ago, Versacehottie said:

No, no no, please don't send that text.  I'm going to guess that if he lost interest it's because you called yourself awkward and all that, basically outing your insecurity. Brava for at least going back to normal talk right after that but also you shouldn't have tried to fix your behavior from the date after the date with words.  It just conveys insecurity and a little desperate, often causing someone to lose interest.  He already was trying to plan another date so you should have just rolled with that.

I think now FURTHER trying to fix it in a last ditch attempt is yes "even worse".  At least leave him confused about whether or not you are still interested rather than throw it all on the table in this hail mary attempt.  I think it doesn't look good but it means what it means.  I think you should let him contact you.  If you are truly "cool with it" you should have no problem doing that.  There is no need to arbitrarily speed up a need for an answer of what is going on.  He was capable of texting you regularly before the date so you don't need to fill in the blanks for him. He might be trying to distance himself so he doesn't find himself in a full blown relationship.  Play the long game and SHOW that you have options by not chasing after him or throwing yourself at his feet.  That's what this proposed text does ^^^

Right now the ball is in his court.  If he gets his act together to arrange that date in a timeframe where it's reasonable that you wouldn't have made other plans than just go with it and have fun.  If it's late notice, then be charming and your normal self on text but let him know you have other plans because you hadn't heard from him & try to reschedule.  SHOW rather than tell. Goodluck

*ps he might have been testing you in a way & personally i think when he offered the two options of date two--you should have said yes to restaurant, which basically means no to date at his house.  He's testing you--you test back as far as his intentions.  He might have still disappeared but you would have a clear answer about what he wanted. 

 

26 minutes ago, Versacehottie said:

No, no no, please don't send that text.  I'm going to guess that if he lost interest it's because you called yourself awkward and all that, basically outing your insecurity. Brava for at least going back to normal talk right after that but also you shouldn't have tried to fix your behavior from the date after the date with words.  It just conveys insecurity and a little desperate, often causing someone to lose interest.  He already was trying to plan another date so you should have just rolled with that.

I think now FURTHER trying to fix it in a last ditch attempt is yes "even worse".  At least leave him confused about whether or not you are still interested rather than throw it all on the table in this hail mary attempt.  I think it doesn't look good but it means what it means.  I think you should let him contact you.  If you are truly "cool with it" you should have no problem doing that.  There is no need to arbitrarily speed up a need for an answer of what is going on.  He was capable of texting you regularly before the date so you don't need to fill in the blanks for him. He might be trying to distance himself so he doesn't find himself in a full blown relationship.  Play the long game and SHOW that you have options by not chasing after him or throwing yourself at his feet.  That's what this proposed text does ^^^

Right now the ball is in his court.  If he gets his act together to arrange that date in a timeframe where it's reasonable that you wouldn't have made other plans than just go with it and have fun.  If it's late notice, then be charming and your normal self on text but let him know you have other plans because you hadn't heard from him & try to reschedule.  SHOW rather than tell. Goodluck

*ps he might have been testing you in a way & personally i think when he offered the two options of date two--you should have said yes to restaurant, which basically means no to date at his house.  He's testing you--you test back as far as his intentions.  He might have still disappeared but you would have a clear answer about what he wanted. 

This is really helpful advice. Thank you so much! That last part is especially insightful. 

God, I feel like an idiot (a clueless inexperienced one).  

[Backinthesaddleagain]

1 hour ago, trypoprx said:

So, I met a guy on Tinder. We texted constantly for a week:  good morning, good night, and throughout the day.  And then on Saturday we had our first date by the beach. I thought it went well and during the date he mentioned our next date should be at this local restaurant or at his house, where he would prepare a meal for me. He said to text him and let him know if I was comfortable with that. We hugged at the beginning and even harder at the end of the date.

I thought I was pretty quiet and awkward during the date (he was doing most of the talking), so that night I texted him saying it was great meeting him and that I was sorry if I was a little awkward and quiet.  He responded the next day saying "lol you weren't awkward, I was just babbling".

I responded then by saying he was outgoing and charismatic & proceeded to text him as normal about my day. Showing him a picture of my grandparents, who I was out with, holding hands and asking him "how cute are they??". It's been around 4 days and he hasn't responded. Did I scare him off?

Am I being ghosted? I just want to be prepared if I am. I was really enthusiastic about him & feel as though my world is falling apart now. Granted he's 39 (I'm 26) and he did mention that he's not accustomed to text back and forth. I don't know what to think. I'm extremely new to the dating world and confused.

Honestly, just pretend that eveyone you talk to will ghost you. It makes it easier mentally to deal with when it happens. I had an amazing date with a girl and she even went in for the kiss at the end. We hugged, smiled, and even talked about the next date. She seemed excited about me, but a few days later she turned into a Casper and I never heard from her again. 

 

1 hour ago, trypoprx said:

I'm thinking of texting him tomorrow with "Hey, pretty sure you lost interest but I had a great time with you on the weekend and would love to meet again if you're cool.  If not, it's all good. Wish you all the best."

^ I can't tell if that makes it worse or not and if I'm just humiliating myself further. 

Also, DON'T SEND THIS. This is weak desperate behavior and will not win him over. If you don't hear back, move on. NEXT!

[Fox Sake]

1 hour ago, trypoprx said:

I'm thinking of texting him tomorrow with "Hey, pretty sure you lost interest but I had a great time with you on the weekend and would love to meet again if you're cool.  If not, it's all good. Wish you all the best."

^ I can't tell if that makes it worse or not and if I'm just humiliating myself further. 

If you feel you have to text him then do it.  Nothing to lose at all, but your wording should be changed.
Better with something like “ hey it was good to meet you. I’ve figured this probably isn’t for you, or me at this point, but I hope you find what you’re looking for :)” 

don’t hand him yourself in a plate seeking another date when he’s ghosted you. That’s not attractive. 

don’t blame yourself for him ghosting you. It’s all just down to comparability , It’s not your fault. You really don’t need someone in your life who doesn’t make you feel special or wanted. It’s his loss and you can rest easy knowing you’re still awesome 

Edited August 5, 2020 by Fox Sake
Spelling

[Backinthesaddleagain]

1 minute ago, trypoprx said:

 

God, I feel like an idiot (a clueless inexperienced one).  

We have all been there, you will never learn anything by sitting on the couch reading about it! You have to get out there and make mistakes to grow and learn. Don't beat yourself up. 

 

[poppyfields]

What's everyone's take on sending the grandparents holding hands pics? 

To me, that was worse than her conveying nervousness (awkward and quiet) which many guys find cute!  My experience.  

And he did respond positively after that.

But the family pics holding hands?  Again I think that spooked him, too personal after only one date. 

Pushing for intimacy.  

Edited August 5, 2020 by poppyfields

[trypoprx]

Yeah, I felt like an idiot after that. Idk what I was thinking. 

During the week we texted he would send me pics of his nieces/nephews and talk about his family (esp. his grandma a lot), so I assumed it would spark his interest or something.

But it just came off as clingy and desperate, ugh.

[Fox Sake]

2 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

What's everyone's take on sending the grandparents holding hands pics? 

To me, that was worse than her conveying nervousness, which many guys find cute!  My experience.  

But the family pics holding hands?  Again I think that spooked him, too personal after only one date. 

Pushing for intimacy.  

There’s some truth there too poppy. I do agree.  A selfie would have been better if anything.  But it’s done now and if sending something like that pushed him away , then she just saved herself further heartache 

[poppyfields]

6 minutes ago, trypoprx said:

Yeah, I felt like an idiot after that. Idk what I was thinking. 

During the week we texted he would send me pics of his nieces/nephews and talk about his family (esp. his grandma a lot), so I assumed it would spark his interest or something.

But it just came off as clingy and desperate, ugh.

Oh well if HE did first, then that's different.  It was probably okay then.  

[Wiseman2]

Relax and develop an oh well live and learn mindset.

[Realitysux]

1 hour ago, trypoprx said:

Yeah, I felt like an idiot after that. Idk what I was thinking. 

During the week we texted he would send me pics of his nieces/nephews and talk about his family (esp. his grandma a lot), so I assumed it would spark his interest or something.

But it just came off as clingy and desperate, ugh.

It was obvious on the first date that you guys didn't click. There was nothing you could have done differently. Relax and keep your head up, his loss. 

I meet a lot of men in person, we don't always click. I see great looking men and we don't have anything but a kind hello, and it's done. It's no deferent, it wasn't there. 

Also, if the interest was high, it would take more then that to scare him. 

Edited August 6, 2020 by Realitysux

[curlygirl40]

When I was dating I found it best to 'mirror' them in the beginning especially.    They call, you answer.  They text, you text back.  They ask you out, you say yes.    If you pay attention, men will always let you know if they are interested.   By their actions or inactions.  By their contact or their silence.   Unfortunately IMO it's best to just wait it out and see how it plays out.  Even if you want to know what he's thinking, where you stand, etc, etc. ANY questions like that in the beginning will put him off.     It sucks but that's the way it's done, IMO.    You wait to see how he responds.  

I'm sure some will disagree but this is strongly how I feel.  If a man is interested, you won't lay awake at night guessing, you will know.   

So let's say o.k, he doesn't text much.  That's o.k as long as he's making plans for your next date.      But if he's not doing either?   He's likely gone.   

Also if I read your first post correctly, before you met he was in touch every day and now he's not?   To me that was a HUGE red flag of disinterest or someone who didn't want a relationship, maybe only wanted FWB, etc.    

People will say that you can't predict interest on texting patterns.  But to me, when the pattern changed, that was huge.   If he was in contact daily, then you met, now it's been a few days since you've heard from him, that's a shift in his pattern.   To me that was a huge sign of things to come.    It doesn't mean he's not interested, but it could mean that he's backing off to be sure you know he's not interested in something serious.   He might put you on a shelf and text you for something casual, but it's Wednesday so if he hasn't been back in touch to ask you again for this weekend, he's likely not interested in something more serious.  But it doesn't mean he won't reach out to you for sex or whatever.

You have to decide what you want and then act accordingly.  If you're looking for a relationship and wanting to avoid guys who only want FWB and the like, then you have to avoid guys that don't act like they want the same things.  

Also I'm agreeing with the others.    Next time don't admit things that you think are your shortcomings and don't send him that text.   If you can't let it go, send him a text but don't ask him if he's still interested.   

Best of luck!

[Versacehottie]

3 hours ago, trypoprx said:

 

This is really helpful advice. Thank you so much! That last part is especially insightful. 

God, I feel like an idiot (a clueless inexperienced one).  

Thanks.  I tend to think a decent amount of guys do much like he does (ie pulling back at the beginning, trying to set a slower pace once there's a perceived "'expectation" from you, and consciously or subconsciously kind of giving a test to see if you are down).  I actually think it's not for any bad reason but part of how they figure out what they think about moving forward with a relationship with you/any girl.  

First this guy was on tinder so the range of possible motives for dating are very wide and often tinder can be used for casual relationships so while that doesn't mean he's not open to anything more, if he's feeling it with any girl along his tinder dating journey he's probably going to test himself as he figures out if he really wants something more serious.  "Getting into a relationship" could not be the reason he is on there and so if what he's feeling with you is something more he might do a little push/pull as he figures that out.  Now I'm not saying that IS what happened but possible, just so you don't feel inexperienced with any guy who's not full on at the beginning and then pulls back.  I think guys (not all, of course) will be super gung ho in an effort to get you to meet the first time and then back off a bit now that you're a real girl who's interested.  Plus sometimes after the first date guys switch to setting up dates by text rather than continue to talk/chat endlessly via text since they really don't see a point--their goal isn't necessarily to chat in general it was to get you out to the first date.

They slow down after first date to manage expectations and while they decide what they really want (not saying that is exactly or even what is happening here but it's a possible reason for a slow down so you know for the future).  Lol, I think the ability to ride those out is often a good thing.  He's not that big a part of your life yet so it shouldn't be phasing you so much (well we know as girls it does) but yeah don't act like it.  Also maybe don't talk to him SO much beforehand (for future guys).  It's in a sense being too available or SO available now he feels OBLIGATED to keep that pace up but not particularly MOTIVATED.  If you gave less access to yourself because you don't know him yet and it's not warranted (ie he's not proven that he necessarily deserves it), it sends a message that he needs to earn your trust with his effort to have more of your time & space in your life.  If you think of it in reverse, this is what a guy who is slowing the pace down (toward you) is doing TO YOU--basically saying "you don't yet warrant this much space in my life".  Not necessarily a bad thing but making sure there's no overpromising or that trapped feeling.  If he's slowing it down, it usually means there already is pressure there, whether real or perceived by him (nothing you did).  Feeling like he needs to keep pace with a pattern you guys already established, tons of texting etc, usually will do it.  Obviously guys are often the ones at fault for this with being too gung ho before they've met you but that's not how they will necessarily look at it after the first date.  Keep in mind often there is the element of the chase/pursuit before the first date and now you're just....available. Eeeks!  That's what a guy is thinking. (not all but yeah it's bad pressure not something they are self-motivated about).

Then there is the tinder issue or just the fact that a lot of guys want a girl who is a prize/not easy. That's often why you will get a test (consciously or subconsciously) they want to know is this a girl that ANY guy can get or have my efforts, my good looks, my humor, my charm gotten me this far?  I know it sounds old fashioned but often it IS how they think without even being able to pinpoint it.  It actually applies with most things people "obtain".  If you work hard for something or it "costs" a lot, you want it more.  So a guy may think tinder is fine for him but be questioning what type of girl is on there and what she is really all about.  Obviously they are both want to hook up and kind of would want a girl that they are interested in dating to say 'not yet' when it is too soon (not all guys of course but a good amount).  If he only wants to hook up, he's gonna disappear anyway.  I kind of don't necessarily think that's what your guy was about--since he started planning the second date.

All of this is not meant to give a free pass to guys that don't show interest in a way that keeps you interested.  Just to help you play the game a little better so you don't implode the whole thing with an insecure, needy or "where do we stand" text---which is essentially what your proposed text would have been (at the same time passively throwing yourself under the bus!!! with insecurity).  Rather than an extreme black or white type decision making process for what all this means, you have to rely on yourself, your personal beliefs & standards and know that first stages of dating just have a ton of uncertainty so you just put your best foot forward and conduct yourself as your ideal you.  While I dislike all the references really to making a date like an interview, in one way it IS an audition to show what type of girlfriend/person you are & how you manage yourself emotionally at each juncture like if it seems normal to the stage, basically not tooooo much.  Lol, and I mean that in a two way street obviously--you should be doing the same to him. Actually if you think less about trying to PROVE to him that you'd make a good girlfriend and win his affection and switch more to seeing IF you find that he warrants ACCESS into your life, it's a better way to go.  Not in a arrogant way, but curious about a person & yes mirroring what they give you but still making sure that they would deserve to be in your life.  Reciprocally making sure that you conduct yourself in the way you would want any person to view you just because you have high standards for yourself IMO.  And so you don't regret things you've done that have you questioning if you blew it.

Ok lastly just to be 100% real, I do think all the awkward talk might have sealed the fate of this one.  He also could have only been lukewarm after the date and the awkward comments didn't help and then sealed the fate.  I think these are the "most likely" scenarios. I gave you all the other things that could also simultaneously be going on so you could understand some other possibilities so you don't feel the need to ASK what is going on, explain yourself AND so you definitely do put your best foot forward on the date knowing that sometimes things ebb and flow for reasons besides what he plans to do with you--more like things going on in his mind which you do influence, good or bad.  So you can go with the flow a bit more while holding to your own standards and make him qualify himself to you a bit more.  And then don't forget early days on tinder, he obviously is probably dating and talking to others--that's just realistic.  I think if you are going to be on an app or OLD, or really any dating really, you just have to have confidence that you are the cream of crop and that you are looking for the best match for YOU and what is meant to work out will--if you are conducting yourself as YOUR ideal you.  In a way, that's all you can do & the rest will take care of itself.  That kind of confidence really helps in a way.  Gotta treat it like you have options and know that you do.

The grandparents photo thing to me is not a big deal. I doubt it's a dealbreaker.  it's cute, of course and in the context of photos he sent to you previously totally normal.  That said, it might again in the timing CONTEXT show that you had girlfriend expectations and were trying to setting a text chatting pace that he really didn't see a point in doing. I guess one thing to do is kind of gauge if that was going to be a longer text chat before you sent that photo & expected a response.  Sounds like in a way, he wasn't up for a big long conversation.  Also some guys are bad texters--not an excuse at all if they are behaving bad-- but they are almost single minded as far as purpose.  Like before the purpose was to keep you on the hook until he got you out on a date, therefore he knows that requires chatting especially if you've been like that with him as well and roll with it in advance of the first date when HE tries to do it.  Now the purpose is to get you on second date so he doesn't need to do all that and your photo of grandparents doesn't require a response (which is not great as girls communicate to each other but guys, blunt guys and bad texters, yes this is how they do!).  The other purpose could be to unfortunately avoid you--sucks but it obviously could be. That's why what you "get" from him tells you what you need to know.  See what happens next.  Good luck!

Oh and don't feel like an idiot   first handful of dates, and all the uncertainty, trying to find mutual chemistry all play into it.  Just figure out how to play the game to maximize your chances and always show yourself off to the best of your ability, ie change awkwardness mid-date if you notice yourself doing it & really don't put so much pressure on yourself that it would occur.  Just have fun & make that the goal.

[beentheredonethat77]

I dont think any of those things matter when a guy is totally feeling you.  IN fact, when a guy is really into you .. he'll see awkwardness as 'adorkable' -- he'll see grandparents pics as 'ah sweet' --- he'll see 'flaws' as 'quirks' -- I know because ive witnessed it personally with myself -- Some guys i couldnt' turn off if i tried.  Similarly, the slightest thing with a guy who isn't feeling me (or a guy who isn't ready for a relationship and is looking for an 'out') will turn him off.    I really think we can obsess over things we did or didn't do --- but when two people are hot for eachother and the chemistry is strong.. it takes more than a dorky / awkward comment or ill timed pic to kill it.   

Just my opinion --- and also know if im really attracted to a guy / excited for a guy  due to some of his traits really doing it for me -- , i'll let a lot slide (even the odd unfunny meme or odd trait)... Vs a guy im lukewarm into -- its icksville with one false move.   

[gamon]

He only responded with one brief text after the date?

He's gone.

 

[SumGuy]

On 8/5/2020 at 5:29 PM, trypoprx said:

I'm thinking of texting him tomorrow with "Hey, pretty sure you lost interest but I had a great time with you on the weekend and would love to meet again if you're cool.  If not, it's all good. Wish you all the best."

^ I can't tell if that makes it worse or not and if I'm just humiliating myself further. 

In no way text that! (IMHO)   It may be he asked you to get back to him on if going to his place was good or not and you didn't answer the question so he wondered about you interest. 

Realize this is late in the thread, I would have suggested getting back with "oh I realize didn't get back to you on if your place is OK for a next date.  yes would like to see you again...(then either let him know his place is OK or it might be too soon as a second date but you look forward to the other place he mentioned).

[Miss Spider]

This post was rez’d from 2 months ago. Pretty sure he is gone by now

Edited November 9, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes