Author Grunge99 Posted August 6, 2020 Author Posted August 6, 2020 (edited) I had a deep conversation with Girl A over the state of our relationship/friendship. She told me that she sensed that I might be interested in someone else. She has always been intuitive. She says that she felt like I had been pulling away and as a result she has been doing a lot of self-reflecting. She said she doesn't want to be friend's with benefits anymore, which she had mentioned in a previous conversation as well. She says that she wants to settle down in a long term relationship. She says that she really needs a commitment. She is not happy with just being friends with sex on the side. While it was fun, in her words, she wants something more and if I'm not ready for a commitment with her she wants end all in person contact with me, so she can move on and find someone who wants a relationship. I did tell her about Girl B, but that we were just hanging out a lot. There was a mutual interest, but it had went no further then that, which is true. But at this point, I just felt really sad. Sad that I could lose Girl A all together. We did spend the rest of the day yesterday together, talking more, and we talked about the distance. Shesaid if we wanted each other bad enough, the distance wouldn't be that big of a deal. She said it's only a hour drive, which she would have no problem making a few days a weeks just to spend an evening or even over night, get up and drive to work if need be. This morning at work I told Girl B I just want to remain friends. It came down to I really do have strong romantic feelings for Girl A. I have a lot of respect for Girl A. And I didn't want to lose Girl A. It comes down too, if it doesn't work out with Girl A I know I tried. Because honestly if I didn't try, I'd lose her anyway. Edited August 6, 2020 by Grunge99 1
elaine567 Posted August 6, 2020 Posted August 6, 2020 (edited) Is Girl A happy with that or was her little speech designed to tell you it is all over between the two of you? People tend not to like being in a menage a trois type arrangement and she now knows she was not enough and you were looking elsewhere. So your "commitment" may be too little too late perhaps. Grabbing on when you are too scared to lose someone, is not the same as just choosing them in the first place... Edited August 6, 2020 by elaine567
Author Grunge99 Posted August 6, 2020 Author Posted August 6, 2020 (edited) I think she is okay with it. She isn't happy obviously that it took this conversation for us to be on the same page. She said she wished she had said something back in May instead of just waiting and seeing. I think the fact I hadn't been intimate with Girl B and was just in the hanging out stage made it better. It isn't all over because we all ready made plans for this weekend. A friend told me that since I'm still interested in Girl A even after all the distance we had, shows that there is a deeper attraction there, and that since we've been intimate/friends for well over a year, going on two, that the "honeymoon" stage is well past that I'm feeling with Girl B since, Girl B is new and exciting. In the end I made a decision, and Girl A knows about Girl B and my feelings, and is okay with continuing to take our relationship official. Edited August 6, 2020 by Grunge99 1
Versacehottie Posted August 6, 2020 Posted August 6, 2020 I think you made the right/best choice. Happy for you, congratulations & good luck!
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 7, 2020 Posted August 7, 2020 I read this whole thread tonight for the first time. And I'm very happy with the ending :). I was rooting for Girl A all along!
schlumpy Posted August 7, 2020 Posted August 7, 2020 16 hours ago, elaine567 said: Grabbing on when you are too scared to lose someone, is not the same as just choosing them in the first place... I think that when you a deep in that emotional valley you rarely have a real choice.
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