Thoughts Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 my situation is a little more tricky... i've been with my boyfriend since march 1st. we moved in together june 1st. (we've known eachother for over 8 years and i used to date and live with his brother - my current boyfriend and i HATED eachother up until the day we first slept together) ok... so - when my bf and i got together he was still with his ex. and in fact - HE NEVER BROKE UP WITH HER. they were together for about 2 1/2 years - the same amount of time as me and his brother. we started sleeping together because i was very upset with his brother and he knew that was the reason. we NEVER thought we would end up together. he and his girlfriend were having problems for a while. he just stopped talking to her. he would disappear for weekends at a time to be with me and she would just wonder why he would disappear. it was in May that we realized how real this was and that we were in love. he still to this day has not verbally broken up with her. she is psychotic and she has proven this by her actions of freaking out and calling his friends etc. etc. so, as much as i feel she should know a) he has a new girlfriend b) he is living with her and c) it is his brother's ex - he feels that it is none of her business and she will just go a little crazy. since we've been together she's called him. moreso at the beginning - and he would answer on rare occassions - but, hasn't answered in a few months - in fact she stopped calling altogether a month or so ago. well, two days ago she started calling again. and then this morning she called at 6:50 am!!!! her mother is sick with cancer and i am hoping she has not passed - but, my boyfriend doesn't want to deal with the situation - he figures she will just go away. i am starting to get a little annoyed. i know i can't keep her from calling him, but i think she should know he's moved on. he doesn't want to call her back or talk to her because he feels it will encourage the phone calls and if her mother has passed, he doesn't want to know - because she needs to find someone else to lean on - i know this is a little jumbled - writing it at work - just would love some thoughts on the situation.... thanks
legrtova Posted October 12, 2005 Posted October 12, 2005 So he just disappeared from her life?! How convenient... She is psychotic because he has never offered her a closure. He just left. That's a coward in my eyes. Why doesn't he have the guts to tell her it's over? Offer her time to heal...which she probably cannot do with him treating her the way he did.... It's obvious, but after 2.5 years it's a BIT disrespectful to just 'be gone', I would expect him to do the same thing to you when he finds someone else. Sorry if I sound harsh, I just don't think he is man enough if he cannot tell her it's over.
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