Ezreal Posted July 30, 2020 Posted July 30, 2020 There was this girl I decided to give my number at work. She didn't give me her number until about three weeks later. By that point, I figure she wasn't interested, but out of the blue she walked up to me and gave me her number. However, she gave me her work number not her personal number. I texted her twice and phone her once on that number during the weekend. We both work 12 hours shifts so our weekends are three or four days long depending on the shift week. When she first gave me her work number, it was a three day weekend. I was confused at this point. Come Wednesday, last Wednesday not today, she text me explaining she gave me the wrong number and gave me her personal phone number. We text that same day. On Thursday, I sent her a text at end of my shift, which she did not respond. On Saturday, I sent her another text asking her if she had any plans for the weekend. Like the first week, she hasn't text me or communicated with me. The last text she responded to me I ask her where she was having lunch, our company has many cafeterias so I needed to know where she was having lunch. Except, I had too much work to go have lunch with her. This last weekend was the busiest week since I started at this company, been here several months. On Saturday, I only had time for a 20 minute lunch break out of a 12 hour shift. I needed to get my work done by that day. Perhaps I should have told her I couldn't have lunch with her, but then again I never said I was going to have lunch with her. We don't always have the same lunch hours or breaks. Especially, this last week we were very heavily shorthanded with personnel, which meant we took odd breaks. We both have seen each other for months at work. Although, we haven't talked to each other. She works in maintenance and I in operations. She doesn't work for the company I work for, but instead is a contingent worker or worker from another company that my company subcontracts. The work environment is a clean room so we wear those bunny suits and badges with our names and picture. The reason she told me she didn't text or call me when I first gave her my number was she didn't know who the number belong to. She waited until I was alone before giving me her number too. From past experience, when a girl is real likes you she makes every effort to be around you and try to notice her. With this girl, I get the impression that she is just holding me as backup or stringing me along, but I'm not certain. This girl appears to be super shy. I never heard her say one word in months. It wasn't until last month that she said hi to me and my coworker as we were leaving for lunch. Her coworkers have started conversations with me. It's just her that always been super quiet. In fact, I wonder if she even spoke English cause I never heard her say anything. When she said hi to us, it was the most quietest hi I have ever heard a girl say hi in my life. I'm really confused by this girl. I will most likely see here again tomorrow. We both will see each other at least once or more each week. This part is inevitable for both us. At this point, I'm rather annoyed and tired of this. I honestly don't care if she talks or texts me ever again. If she does communicate with me by tomorrow, then should I confront her or just move on and ignore her? I'm at the point, that short of a really good explanation why she hasn't communicate with me that I should move on and ignore her. First, she waited about three weeks to give me her number, then she gave me her work number instead of her personal number, then she stop communicating with me over the weekend after she gave me her personal number. She is older than me too by at least five years. This whole ordeal has taken a month and I don't want to waste more time with her. To make matters worst, my parents have coronvirus. They got the results today. From last week, my cousin and aunt both tested positive too. I live so far away from them. I was paid to relocated to this new place. I don't know anyone or this place. I can't even get my license plates and drive license changed. The DMV has been closed for months and only open for commercial business.
healing light Posted July 30, 2020 Posted July 30, 2020 (edited) How old are you guys? 32 minutes ago, Ezreal said: From past experience, when a girl is real likes you she makes every effort to be around you and try to notice her. With this girl, I get the impression that she is just holding me as backup or stringing me along, but I'm not certain. This girl appears to be super shy. When I really, really like someone, I used to clam up in their presence. One of the guys I liked the most, I was way too intimidated to approach him directly so I befriended his twin brother to try to get closer to him (that backfired--I was in my early 20s at the time). So, sometimes people get very quiet around people they like. I'm going to assume she noticed you by giving you her number. I can't really make sense of why she didn't text you back more enthusiastically, though. It always makes me feel weird for a poster when I see they make multiple attempts to reach out and are given lukewarm responses and/or no response. If you're already frustrated and annoyed with this and don't feel like waiting around to get to know her more, then don't. It's up to you, but I wouldn't confront her, either. You guys are technically some kind of co-worker, after all, and the workplace is not the best place to find dates. Either ask her out directly with a time/place/date or let it go and just be cordial when you see her. Edited July 30, 2020 by healing light
ShyViolet Posted July 30, 2020 Posted July 30, 2020 Yeah, it sounds like she's not interested. Even if she's really shy, that would explain why she's super quiet around you, but that wouldn't explain why she didn't text you back and why she gave you her work number instead of personal number. Those are not things someone does when they are interested. Don't confront her, just move on.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 30, 2020 Posted July 30, 2020 I would just leave it be, OP. She doesn't seem interested.
Grey40 Posted July 30, 2020 Posted July 30, 2020 (edited) Odd behavior, my assumption here is that she’s currently seeing someone else either casually or has an actual boyfriend. Maybe she’s keeping you in the wings just in case but clearly isn’t going to move anything forward unless her current situation gets worse. Just a total guess, but when I’ve experienced this kind of thing, that’s always been the reason. bottom line: don’t waste time going for girls that aren’t 100% fully excited about you and want to see you. Just a total waste of breath and energy trust me. You want someone who’s enamored by you, not someone you’re constantly worried about and second guessing. Edited July 30, 2020 by Grey40 2
Giovane Posted July 30, 2020 Posted July 30, 2020 7 hours ago, Ezreal said: If she does communicate with me by tomorrow, then should I confront her or just move on and ignore her? You have had so little interaction so far that you really have no business "confronting" her about anything. 1
d0nnivain Posted July 30, 2020 Posted July 30, 2020 (edited) 10 hours ago, Ezreal said: At this point, I'm rather annoyed and tired of this. I honestly don't care if she talks or texts me ever again. If she does communicate with me by tomorrow, then should I confront her or just move on and ignore her? I'm at the point, that short of a really good explanation why she hasn't communicate with me that I should move on and ignore her. First I'm sorry about your family. I hope they all have mild cases. Having moved away from family it's understandable that you are lonely & a bit frustrated. These are certainly not normal times. Do not confront this woman. She has done nothing wrong. If you come across as aggressive you could put your own career in jeopardy. Your job in operations is a higher status then her contract position in maintenance You will be seen as the bully. Honestly from what you wrote it doesn't surprise me that this woman is hanging back. She is not sure what your intentions are. Your communication is the problem, not hers. When you gave her your # she didn't know who you were. Then she gave you a work # because thought your interest was work related. When she reached out & offered a lunch meet you couldn't go but you didn't even respond. Since you like her and you couldn't make the lunch it was up to you to find an alternative time / place for a meet. You didn't do that. Yet, now you have your nose all out of joint. That is not on her. It's on you. Your vague "what are you doing this weekend" was one of those things most women don't respond to. It's lame. If you want to take her on a date you ask for a specific time, place & venue but be willing to negotiate a mutually convenient time. Write her off if you like but you would be better served apologizing for the missed lunch connection, trying to reschedule a different lunch & from there possibly arranging an actual out of work date. Edited July 30, 2020 by d0nnivain 2
Wiseman2 Posted July 30, 2020 Posted July 30, 2020 Stay friendly and helpful at work but date outside of work.
Author Ezreal Posted August 3, 2020 Author Posted August 3, 2020 Update. After finding out my parents had covid19 she texted me saying she wish my parents the very best and the usual condolence message, then went straight back to ignoring my text. d0nnivain, she didn't reach out to me to have launch. I was the one who asked her where she usually has lunch. I never stated I was going over to have lunch with her. This week, I invited her to have lunch with me, but I got no reply. Instead, I spent the entire time texting and reconnecting with old friends. Other than her giving me her number, she hasn't initiated not once. Anyway at this point it's over. I plan to move on. I will ignore her at work, which is what most us company workers do to CW. Company workers don't really socialize with CW. I think it's by design by the company. I will be polite, but I won't try to engage her in any conversation. If she says hi, I will say hi back, but that is it. I do feel a bit sorry for her. She has to push carts, lift equipment, and stand all day while she works. I personally don't think it's fair for CW, but life isn't fair. As an operator, I rarely lift anything, we can sit most of the day at our terminals, get free drinks, quarterly bonuses, and gifts from the company throughout the year. My company even gave us fab workers a large bonus due to covid19 on top of the normal bonuses. We have it pretty well compared to the CW. I don't think it matters much at this point. In six months, I can transfer to an engineering position, which is what I plan to do. Engineers rarely enter the fab. Out of curiosity, I noticed she avoids eye contact with me in the fab even when she is like a meter or two away. She could have been really tired too, but she has been doing that last week even when she was texting me back. I guess that is why they say date outside work. As for my parents, they are doing a lot better, but their voice seem to have changed. Hopefully it's not permanent. 1
introverted1 Posted August 3, 2020 Posted August 3, 2020 Contingent Worker and... Fabrication lab? OP, although @d0nnivain may have gotten some of the details wrong, your communication has been less than straightforward. If you want to ask a woman out, then ask her out. Don't give her your number and then expect her to... what? ask you out? Go for what you want.
smackie9 Posted August 3, 2020 Posted August 3, 2020 I understand with all these things going on in your life can make it lonely and frustrating. Accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Don't sweat the small stuff, learn grow and go forward. Stay positive my friend.
schlumpy Posted August 3, 2020 Posted August 3, 2020 Is she of a different ethnic group that may have different signals for socializing?
Author Ezreal Posted August 3, 2020 Author Posted August 3, 2020 Fab is the fabrication plant, but we call it Fab for short. It's a semiconductor fabrication plant. We make computer chips in the most advance plant in the world. No, she is not a different ethnic group. She is the same ethnic group as me. She just picked the worst time to give me her phone number. I qualify for tuition assistance and need to start looking into grad schools and prepping for GRE exam. Not just me, but the other new Engineers too that are interested in grad school. I might team up with them and we can study together as a group. Today, I have to schedule my piano lessons and run in the afternoon. Tomorrow, I visit the beach. Then, I have that side project I'm work on, a simulator I am designing and coding. Apparently, it's worth a lot of money according to my manager if it works. I'm move on. There is a lot I need to do in the coming months. I'm sure I will have plenty of opportunities to date especially if I go to grad school.
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