darkknight Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 OK Answer this part of the question first: WHAT DO YOU WANT IN A MAN? Now Answer this part of the question: WHAT ARE THE CHARACTERISTICS OF MEN YOU HAVE STAYED WITH FOR A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP?
helena abadi Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 WHAT DO I WANT IN A MAN..in no particular order.. Trust Respect Sense of humour Good self-esteem Able to trust me enough to share his strengths and weaknesses Independent enough not to give up his life for me - for example still have nites out with the guys, play sport etc Financial stability (his own, at least) Someone who will help around the house a bit Intellect Sexual chemistry (shoot that to near top of the list) Good moral values (ditto) Romantic streak Affection and tenderness that doesn't necessarily lead to sex every time Confidence about his masculinity As for the second part...read the list.
Author darkknight Posted October 11, 2005 Author Posted October 11, 2005 Really Helena The reason why I ask, is I have almost always found that women say that they want things like a good sense of humor, respect, intellegent etc etc. However when one looks at the guys they stick with for long periods you find it is usually, looks money, mysterious, challenging etc ANY THOUGHTS....
elijahBailey Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 However when one looks at the guys they stick with for long periods you find it is usually, looks money, mysterious, challenging etc ANY THOUGHTS.... Hey sorry, I know it's girls night, but I had to gatecrash.... uhm, no way looks is one of 'em, otherwise an average guy like me wouldn't have wound up with a cute babe But I agree with all the other factors
Author darkknight Posted October 11, 2005 Author Posted October 11, 2005 what i meant by looks was that you have to pass the physical attraction test. Whatever that may be for the individual.
lindya Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 1. A sense of humour I can connect with 2. Intelligent but not to a "can't connect with most other people" level 3. Fair-minded and an independent thinker 4. In bed: Romantic before and after. Passionate, fun and a bit dirty during the main event 5. Laid-back manner, but firm when it's called for. 6. Strives to be as honest as possible, though not to the point of cruelty 7. Doesn't believe that it's okay to cheat as long as he doesn't get found out. 8. Reserves a special twinkle in his eye for me and me alone. Oh, and 9 (very important, this one)... if he's behaved badly towards me he's big enough to admit it without reservations or qualifications...and not in a smug "I'm such a bastard" sort of way. He doesn't try to justify any hurtful behaviour on his part by claiming that I derive some sort of masochistic pleasure from it. That's about it, I think.
helena abadi Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 good call. the money thing has never been an issue. i am financially independent. have never bled guys for money. that sux. challenging and mysterious....they sound good...i guess that's a sub-heading under Independent. hell, forgot about looks. um, i have preferences for what looks i like (tall and dark). conventionally handsome doesn't rate for me. sure there is a gap between What Women Want and what they settle for. we all have an idealised list. my long-term relationships have matched the list in varying degrees. a couple of others were out and out mismatches, and yup, i was guilty of hanging in way too long. why did i stay? that damn rescuer syndrome again.
Kitty2020 Posted October 12, 2005 Posted October 12, 2005 i'd like him to be rough,playful,smartalic sorta way, but most of all romantic.(in bed) not just with me to get into my panties, or anything like that.I'd also like him to be gentle and understanding when it comes to other things. That's what i look for in a guy.
Kitteney Posted October 12, 2005 Posted October 12, 2005 A job is always a good quality in a man, even better if he can keep one for a while. A person with free of legal issues--divorce finalized, taxes paid, valid driver's license. needs to have smarts, common sense, romantic tendencies, be thoughtful, considerate, funny, open-minded..... looks are a plus.
SilentPrayer Posted October 12, 2005 Posted October 12, 2005 What I look for: Education "I dont want someone with no future." Money "Not rich or too wealthy...if so thats good to...but I would like him to atleast have money for the future". Good Family Values "there is nothing I hate more then a 25yr old man with a hate for his family...it's just so immature". Good Friends who respect him "It's not too sexy to be with the guy that all his guy buddys pick on 24/7. Sence of Romance "because I like to be wooed once in a while. Sence of Adventure "I work in an office job, great pay, Im young Im climbing the corporate ladder....and I need an outlet to take off some stress. A very clean man "I dont want him spending his saturdays off cleaning the kitchen floors with a tooth brush..but I dont want a collection of little Germ Villages to grow in his bathroom. Some Materialism "because I am materilistic as well...and I would like someone to make there home a HOME..and not a place to eat, **** and once in a while f***...not good for me...a sence of pride in a mans home is a must. Then... Good Values Works hard @ work and home Makes it work and to date ontime and Love me most of all I have dated men who had all these qualitys I have only ever dated professionals. Engineer, Lawyer, Corporat Negotiator, Accountant, Journalist, Male Nurse, Airplane Tech Engineer, Pilot(s), and plenty more. It is a funny patern dont you think..I wonder if that is healthy?
truelyblue Posted October 12, 2005 Posted October 12, 2005 hehe, looking at all the posts prince charming is yet to arrive.......... ok here goes: 1)would love a man to be chivalrous: open the door for me and walk beside me carry my bags(yeah yeah i know victorian but it still is romantic) 2)have an attitude( you the one where when he walks in there is character and presence)+who wont give up being himself for me... 3)amazing sex appeal 4)a professional with a sense of humour and a great conversationalist. 5)a man who can be a good friend and has good friends 6)someone who does love his family and cares for them. 7)should smell good (i mean real good)very imp!!!!! 8)and yeah he should be financially comfortable!!!! and the most important ............he should woo me like there has never been another woman in his life b4..........flowers dinners the whole enchilada tht about sums it up........ the other thing....well still waiting!!!
Chimerical Posted October 12, 2005 Posted October 12, 2005 What I'm looking for: 1. Strength of character 2. Intelligent but not shove it down my throat 3. Finds my humor funny. 4. Not overly critical, doesn't make fun of me for everything. 5. Works as hard as I do, in life and relationships. 6. Responsible with money 7. Helps people, keeps promises, has a big heart. 8. Helps me to grow into who I want to be. 9. Stands up for my honor, and well being, against the world if need be. 10. Will find me attractive when I'm 70 and saggy. What I've been with: Wishy washy. Intelligent but had to prove it constantly. Thought I was childish and definitely not funny. Hated my cooking, my housework, the way I ate. Was unemployed far more then I was, and didn't put much into the relationship unless I was ready to leave. Spent every penny I made on toys for himself. Held me back from reaching my goals. And wouldn't lift a hand to a man who had hit me when I had asked the man to leave me alone. Who I'm with now, fits very, very closely in with what I have been looking for. Not always, but mainly. He's an incredibly guy. I can't believe I put up with the ex's crap for so long. Guess I couldn't have known what I wanted without knowing what I didn't want first.
Angelina1433 Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 What I want in a man: A sense of humor (dry, preferably) A definate immediate chemistry (he doesn't necessarily have to be an addonis) Honesty Power (in work, his trade or in social situations) Financially secure (not necessarily rich) Smart (at least literate and knows his times tables) Open mindedness He has to care deeply about something (be it an issue, his family, his dog - just something) Some sort of artistic ability (painting, writing, juggling, etc.) Whom I've dated: Starving artists (painters), musicians (also poor and starving), a scientist, businessmen, carpenters - basically all over the map. Even though the starving artists weren't financially secure, their other traits outweighed everything else. Almost dated a lawyer, but realised he just "wasn't that into me". His (HUGE) loss.
JS17 Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 Almost dated a lawyer, but realised he just "wasn't that into me". His (HUGE) loss. I'm so proud of you sista
Lucinda Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 1. Honesty 2. Hard worker 3. Will take care of his share around the house (fix things, bills etc) 4. Will except me and my life for what it is 5. Energetic 6. Has a happy median when it comes to sex (will show me that he wants and needs me but not grope me all the time/can cuddle and just spend time with me). 7. Takes me and my needs into consideration (like today I recieved a call from him while he was at work to see if I was ok because I was up sick through the night) 8. On the same level of intelligance and maturity as me 9. Can laugh with me 10. Consoling 11. Can share all his feelings and not play that macho man role. 12. Respectful 13. Clean and orderly 14. Will do the things we have in common with me but also do the things only he enjoys which makes him who he is (dirt bikes, hunting etc.)
newbby Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 sense of humour confidence interested in getting to know me strength of character mysterious
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