darkknight Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 Guys A couple of things a naieve chaps needs to know. 1:Why does a lover stay in contact, when they have broken up a relationship and it is not fun. 2: What are the red flags which indicate running to the hills 3: How does one initiate NO CONTACT due you tell the other person that this is what you are intending to do or do you just stop returning their calls/texts/emails/knocks on the door/etc!
samski3409 Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 this thread is a good one. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/
Author darkknight Posted October 11, 2005 Author Posted October 11, 2005 Now I just want to know how it feels to spike myself in the nuts with a snow shovel. Beautiful image. Loving the work. still need some thoughts on #3 though Advice please
samski3409 Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 well,for me i had the chance to tell her that i just could not do it anymore:i couldn't continue to act like i was her friend when i wanted more then that,that i couldn't keep being the one she goes to for an ego boost or whatever it was she was getting from me hanging on to someone that left me. i didn't tell her that i was going to go NC i just did it after our last convo.i do think she had an idea,but that didn't stop her from continuing to text me and call me.to this day I'll still get some lame ambiguous text from her from time to time and it's been at least 4 month since I've responded to anything.but she never has anything worth while to say,so why the hell would i respond. thanks for the compliment on the pic,BTW.
Author darkknight Posted October 11, 2005 Author Posted October 11, 2005 why do u think that she continues to contact u after 4 months. THIS IS MY SITUATION. Would love to hear your thoughts I feel I need to understand that a little in order to move on
samski3409 Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 I'm really not sure.after she broke up with me i stayed around for months and hooking up,having sex with her and just basically being around when it was convenient for her.but being that i was seriously in love with her it just did not work,because she would not get back with me.mind you,all this time I'm sure she was seeing someone else.i tried everything to get back with her and it didn't work. Finally i grew some balls and figured that i must move on. i tried nc a few times before this last time but she would inevitably contact me and there i would go falling right back into the trap. so I'm guessing that she's just trying to lure me back into her web.but it's not like she actually wants to be serious with me.i just think it makes her feel good to know I'm there pinning away for her.it's a freaking ego boost for her to know I'm there waiting. now,even if i am still all hung up on her i don't think she deserves to know that.
Author darkknight Posted October 11, 2005 Author Posted October 11, 2005 How about this.......for a theory! Get another chick, hook up have sex and all. But be honest with her about it being a bit of fun. But continue to see the girl who is messing you around as well, but be honest with her as well. Tell her you are seeing someone else as well. Then spend equal attention on both of them. What do you think would happen in your situation! I'm just wondering whether too much attention is the problem. I think that it is with me. Oh and she is UNBALAN CED. What do you think
samski3409 Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 it's been 4 months since I've responded to anything that the ex has said. and i am seeing someone new. I'm on my way to totally moving on.but that's not to say that i don't think about the EX often and still love her,but i know that's not a good situation for me. if you're going to do the NC thing you HAVE to be serious about it.since I've been practicing NC for the last 4 months I've have made great strides in moving on and there's no way I'm going to take a step back. i does get tough sometimes especially like the other night when the EX called and left no msg.
Author darkknight Posted October 11, 2005 Author Posted October 11, 2005 I hear ya. I am simply trying to think things through before I embark on my NC journey. Love Shack forums mistakes are much more preferable to real life mistakes. Serious question. Do you thing that your ex g/f is clinically sane. I sometimes wonder - about mine I mean
Jayhawks Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 i just think it makes her feel good to know I'm there pinning away for her.it's a freaking ego boost for her to know I'm there waiting. now,even if i am still all hung up on her i don't think she deserves to know that. Amen....... So true. It is all about her.
Author darkknight Posted October 11, 2005 Author Posted October 11, 2005 But why my brothers, WHY that what I need to understand here. Why would an individual make the effort. Please explain for me in words of one syllable
Jayhawks Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 But why my brothers, WHY that what I need to understand here. Why would an individual make the effort. Please explain for me in words of one syllable Why? I think they want to believe, deep down, that your hurting and they get some type of perverse pleasure in that fact. Even if you don't want someone it is an ego boost to know someone out there cares and wants YOU. It also could be to keep some kind of contact in case they change their minds and want to get back with you. Keep you on the back burner, so to speak. Some just don't want to let go even if they don't want you.
Author darkknight Posted October 11, 2005 Author Posted October 11, 2005 not liking that. I really need to move on. I think that I will simply will not pick up in the future. she plays the trick with me if I don't call or pick up.....Oh I love you so much I am going through loads of stuff and you obviously don't love me or you would treat me better. Then I will pour the heart out and say so let's get back together and she will then say "oh I am not sure, I am still unsure" WTF
samski3409 Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 she plays the trick with me if I don't call or pick up.....Oh I love you so much I am going through loads of stuff and you obviously don't love me or you would treat me better. Then I will pour the heart out and say so let's get back together and she will then say "oh I am not sure, I am still unsure" WTF exactly what I'm talking about! they will continue to use you as some sort of freaking crutch/back up plan with no intention of anything else.until you get sick of it. just think about it,why would they want to change it? the situation works out great for them.they get to have you all strung out,while they're out there looking for the next sucker.it's all in there favor,so they'll just keep using you if the can.
slubberdegullion Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 1:Why does a lover stay in contact, when they have broken up a relationship and it is not fun. Because they're EVIL!! EVIL, I SAY!! 2: What are the red flags which indicate running to the hills When she dumps your stuff onto the sidewalk, that may be an indication. Also, when she tells you that she farked your brother, that may also be a hint. 3: How does one initiate NO CONTACT due you tell the other person that this is what you are intending to do or do you just stop returning their calls/texts/emails/knocks on the door/etc! OK, seriously... only 4 words: I'm done with you. End of discussion.
Rocko Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 Why? I think they want to believe, deep down, that your hurting and they get some type of perverse pleasure in that fact. Even if you don't want someone it is an ego boost to know someone out there cares and wants YOU. It also could be to keep some kind of contact in case they change their minds and want to get back with you. Keep you on the back burner, so to speak. Some just don't want to let go even if they don't want you. It's the same perverse pleasure we get whenever they try to contact us and we shut them down, maintaining our strict NC rules. (At least, for me.)
samski3409 Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 It's the same perverse pleasure we get whenever they try to contact us and we shut them down, maintaining our strict NC rules. (At least, for me.) there is a part of me that gets a kick out of it,but i would really prefer not to hear from them anymore.because in the end whatever pleasure i get from it is unweighed by heartache that it brings me from having them back on my mind again.
Baz Posted October 12, 2005 Posted October 12, 2005 They are all *****ed up in the head. They are not well people. Whats worse, so are we! No sane prick would allow this abuse to ruin there lives like we do. Lets all get out there and start taking on the world and leave these *****ing twats in the gutter with their "confusion".
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