Maldives Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 My question is is it worth even trying? Find it so off putting. Is it even worthwhile trying to build momentum and what's others experience on here with this? I've tried asking questions that don't solicit a yes or no response. Does it show lack of interest from there end or am I just asking the wrong type of questions? Ive tried the simple approach hi how are you how's your day and also tried something that there interested in and have put on there profile and open the conversation that way. It's doesn't happen all the time but more often than not 8 times out of ten. be interested to hear people's perspective Link to post Share on other sites
ccas93 Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 (edited) a lot of times it's because they have too many options online. They might find you attractive but if you're not one of the matches they're most into, they won't spend a lot of time conversing with you. Edited July 28, 2020 by ccas93 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 Can you suggest meeting? One word answers seems like a lack of interest in texting, so make them decide by getting a yes or no to meeting. If they hesitate, rule them out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maldives Posted July 28, 2020 Author Share Posted July 28, 2020 17 minutes ago, ccas93 said: a lot of times it's because they have too many options online. They might find you attractive but if you're not one of the matches they're most into, they won't spend a lot of time conversing with you. Yep that makes a lot of sense Wiseman2 .thanks for the feedback and reading the post 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maldives Posted July 28, 2020 Author Share Posted July 28, 2020 19 minutes ago, ccas93 said: a lot of times it's because they have too many options online. They might find you attractive but if you're not one of the matches they're most into, they won't spend a lot of time conversing with you. That makes heaps of sense too thanks ccas93 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maldives Posted July 28, 2020 Author Share Posted July 28, 2020 @enigma32yep on the money Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 29 minutes ago, enigma32 said: They aren't really interested in you. They're likely bored just enough to send out that one word but not enough to actually engage you in any meaningful way. A one word reply to me is as good as no reply. I'd break off communication. Excellent advice. And emojis don't count as meaningful communication unless they are used to give feeling to quality text. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 As everyone else has already said, the ones who are replying with one or two words are the ones who aren't interested. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 4 hours ago, basil67 said: And emojis don't count as meaningful communication 😱🤺😰🤔🐷🐯🙉🤡🐣🐙🥝🍕🌮👂 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 This reminds me of THE lamest chat/message opener ever. Yes, some people actually do this... "Hey" HEY????? You may as well send a message that says: I am the lamest, laziest person ever lol 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Bluesky00 Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 Well if you are just asking interview questions like how are you. What do you do, where do you live and you are NOT flirting saying how cute, sexy she is, she will not give a much interest 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 (edited) was it a question that only required a one word answer, like this question? How and why questions elicit more explanation in their responses. Who,what, where and when questions don't. Generally speaking, they may answer with one word answers because they don't know what you're fishing for with the question and are waiting on you to ask a follow up question so they can figure out what you want to know. Edited July 28, 2020 by kendahke 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: 😱🤺😰🤔🐷🐯🙉🤡🐣🐙🥝🍕🌮👂 ? 🍕🍕🍕 💫💥💯💣💅 !! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 If I see beer emojis I'm in! 🍺🍺 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 I just do it right back, its hilarious because they will usually keep the conversation going, it surprises me every time because you think theyre not interested but as you do it to them, they start to open up. I think its just a general lack of social awareness on the part of some people who just don't understand what a regular conversation looks like. Link to post Share on other sites
DarrenB Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 If you do not fit a large majority of the criteria that they are looking for, chances are (as you have already experienced) they've already lost interest. You have to remember people on these apps like having an abundance of options, and by the time they reach you they've probably already exhausted their capacity of conversation immersion 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DarrenB Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 2 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said: This reminds me of THE lamest chat/message opener ever. Yes, some people actually do this... "Hey" HEY????? You may as well send a message that says: I am the lamest, laziest person ever lol This is UK Tinder in a nutshell... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
homecoming Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 11 hours ago, basil67 said: Excellent advice. And emojis don't count as meaningful communication unless they are used to give feeling to quality text. I've started blocking people who do this to me, lol. It's way too much effort to keep trying to engage. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Fox Sake Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 (edited) I started calling out the people who are crap at communicating, cos what’s the point in matching otherwise unless it’s just for their ego or they have too many options? Used some of the advice from this thread! It actually resulted in one of them sending me her number 5 minutes ago and making 100% more effort. . Still trying to figure out the psychology behind that, if there is any, passed you making yourself out as somewhat of a prize , or them wanting something they think potentially might not be as easy to get as they thought? Regardless , it’s not a healthy meet! Edited July 28, 2020 by Fox Sake Grammar 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maldives Posted July 28, 2020 Author Share Posted July 28, 2020 28 minutes ago, Fox Sake said: I started calling out the people who are crap at communicating, cos what’s the point in matching otherwise unless it’s just for their ego or they have too many options? Used some of the advice from this thread! It actually resulted in one of them sending me her number 5 minutes ago and making 100% more effort. . Still trying to figure out the psychology behind that, if there is any, passed you making yourself out as somewhat of a prize , or them wanting something they think potentially might not be as easy to get as they thought? Regardless , it’s not a healthy meet! Thanks fox sake great idea was thinking the same 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maldives Posted July 28, 2020 Author Share Posted July 28, 2020 7 hours ago, kendahke said: Generally speaking, they may answer with one word answers because they don't know what you're fishing for with the question and are waiting on you to ask a follow up question so they can figure out what you want to know. True didn't think of that 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 (edited) 9 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said: This reminds me of THE lamest chat/message opener ever. Yes, some people actually do this... "Hey" HEY????? You may as well send a message that says: I am the lamest, laziest person ever lol Almost all of the women who sent me a message (first) opened with just "hi/hey," sometimes plus an emoji.... Edited July 28, 2020 by Erik30 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 2 minutes ago, Erik30 said: Almost all of the women who sent me a message (first) opened with just "hi/hey," sometimes plus an emoji.... When I get "hey," just "hey," I think "blech" and delete, ignore. Maybe guys see it differently. I can't be with a lazy lame-o. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
snowcones Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 (edited) I doubt there is one answer that covers all women. I think some do it because they are bored, but I would never do that. I don't have time for that. My reason for giving one word response is because, I might find him to be cute, but unfortunately that is what he gave me first - a very short, dry, uninspiring, lazy, dull greeting. If you say "Hey" I'm going to say "Hey" back. If you say "How's your day going?" I'm going to say "It's good, how's yours?". If you can't think of a non-lazy meaningful way to connect through conversation, what makes you think I want that chore put on me? My advice to you is to think of a way to really connect with this woman through conversation. Ask her questions if you like (not stupid, vapid ones). Be thoughtful. Tell her about something meaningful that happened to you. Tell her how you are feeling or what you are interested in. Ask her about something meaningful in her profile. Make her think that you see her and want to get to know her. That is the point of conversation. To connect. Edited July 29, 2020 by snowcones 2 Link to post Share on other sites
snowcones Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 3 hours ago, Erik30 said: Almost all of the women who sent me a message (first) opened with just "hi/hey," sometimes plus an emoji.... Give them the same thing back and see where it goes. If it doesn't go anywhere, then she wasn't interested enough or doesn't know how to converse properly (an astonishingly common problem these days, I'm afraid). 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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